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Lovers' Quarrel: Fighting on Facebook Will Not Save Face

TresSugar — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:00:53 -0700

It's one thing to overshare via Facebook, but arguing with your significant other so everyone can see takes things to a whole new, ugly, level.

People actually admit that they Facebook fight so friends can weigh in. It's like The Marriage Ref but, impossibly, worse. “A lot of people aren’t with us if we have a fight at home," Ashley Andrews says of her fiancé. This way, “All our friends can kind of comment on it.”

People aren't just doing it for input, though; they're doing it to protect reputations. Their own reputations. Ryan Stofer, an avowed Facebook fighter, admits public arguments with his ex-girlfriend were mere attempts to save face. "She’d be talking to her friends on Facebook about how bad a boyfriend I was," he said, "And I would be like, ‘No, I was decent.’ "

Psychologists say arguing on Facebook won't protect either person's image, much less the image of their relationship. Public arguments convey instability, volatility, and unhappiness. What is a joke to the couple may be a relationship falling apart to their friends. And because the support of friends and family has proven to sustain relationships over time, chipping away at its image one status update at a time erodes its private stability in the long run.

But does any couple who uses Facebook to send passive-aggressive messages stand a chance?

Sugar Shout Out: St Patrick's Day Pizza!

PopSugar — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:55:00 -0700

The Yellow Handkerchief: A Subtle Charmer

BuzzSugar — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:30:21 -0800

One advantage of the Twilight cast's overwhelming fame? That their smaller projects get the release and attention they normally wouldn't. This is the case for The Yellow Handkerchief, an independent drama starring Kristen Stewart, William Hurt, Maria Bello, and Eddie Redmayne.

Stewart has a big part as Martine, an insecure teen who impulsively takes off on the road with a stranger named Gordy (Eddie Redmayne), but the movie belongs to Hurt. He plays Brett, a recently released ex-con tortured by his past. Brett hitches a ride with Martine and Gordy toward Louisiana, and through a series of misadventures, the three of them become unlikely friends, unfurling Brett's history in the process. It's Hurt's acting and his character's story that make The Yellow Handkerchief a compelling character study while saving it from being a meandering mess. To hear why, just read more.

Stewart is at home as a beautiful outcast but she's out-acted at every turn by her costars. It's not that she's not working hard; it's just tough to dominate Hurt, who's such a quietly phenomenal actor. Redmayne is also impressive as Gordy, who's so socially awkward that he initially turns off his traveling companions. He manages to remain sympathetic to the audience, as does Brett, even when we don't know why he was imprisoned. Both men pull off characters who seem dangerous at first but slowly win you, and their onscreen conquests, over.

The film's other powerhouse is Bello, as Brett's ex May. Her relationship with Brett emerges first in Brett's flashbacks, until Martine and Gordy become interested enough in Brett to have him recount the rest of the narrative. Incidentally, that becomes a frustrating storytelling device, since the Brett/May plot is the best part of the movie. You realize you wanted to be watching their affair all along, and the time spent with Martine and Gordy feels wasted. Though those two eventually form a sweet bond, the movie tries to force a parallel between the younger couple's relationship and Brett and May's, which doesn't work. The older couple's story is so much more powerful and real.

Like I said, it's ultimately Hurt who keeps the movie from being just an eventful road trip. By the time the movie wraps itself up, you're so satisfied with the resolution that you forgive any missteps.

Let's Get Lost: "Lighthouse" Recap

BuzzSugar — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:30:00 -0800

Where to even begin? Lost was so chock-full of surprises and little clues, I think the biggest question might be how they managed to squeeze it all into an hour-long show. This week, we switch focus from Locke and Sawyer, as we go back to the temple where Hurley and Jack are still camped out. Oh yeah, and Hurley is still seeing Jacob.

Jacob actually gets a nice dose of screen time this episode, along with another familiar face: jungle Claire. Finally, we discover what she's been doing for the past three years - and just who she's been talking to. But one of the biggest shockers of the night actually happens on the mainland. I don't want to give too much away, so let's dive right in (needless to say, there are spoilers!). Just read more.

Jack had his appendix removed when he was a kid?! At least, that's what his mother says back on the mainland, but he appears to have no recollection of it. If you recall, his appendix previously required emergency surgery on the island, so does that mean that Jack's history had to change in order to exist with the events that took place on the island?
Huge spoiler: Jack has a son! In this new reality of his, he's father to a boy named David who is quite the piano whiz. Jack has trouble connecting with him (paralleling his relationship with his own father), but shows up to David's tryouts for a conservatory. So is Sarah David's mother? Would seem like the obvious answer, though we never get a glimpse of her. If you want to dig even deeper, the sheet music that David has on his desk is "Fantaisie Impromptu in C-Sharp Minor" by Chopin - which Daniel also plays as a boy and in 2007 in the episode "The Variable."
Did you notice that David is reading The Annotated Alice? The Lost writers love to incorporate Alice in Wonderland references in the show via episode titles (e.g. "White Rabbit" and "Through the Looking Glass"), but Jack also reads Alice in Wonderland to Aaron as a baby. This time, Jack mentions two characters from Through the Looking Glass, Kitty and Snowdrop. In the story, Kitty is Alice's black cat, Snowdrop is white - and they're supposedly versions of the Red and White Queens. Yet another good versus evil parallel for us to dissect.
Back on island time, Jacob instructs Hurley to bring a new person to the island by going into a secret temple tunnel - but only if he takes Jack with him (side note: I'm dying to know what the hieroglyph on the door means!). Jacob tells Hurley to convince Jack by saying "You have what it takes," and Jack is stupefied by this magic phrase, since his father always told him that he didn't "have what it takes." Dun, dun, dun!
If an animal skeleton in a crib isn't proof enough, Claire is not exactly Claire anymore. She saves Jin from her metal claw trap, but takes one of the Others as a hostage, later killing him because she thinks the Others have Aaron - even though Jin tells her Kate's been taking care of him. Jin later backpedals, saying the Others do have Aaron, after all. Good thing, too, because Claire was ready to kill Kate.
When Claire is explaining to Jin what she's been doing the past three years, she mentions spending time with her father and a "friend." Who is the mystery man? Smokey Locke. You know what that means: bad things are about to go down at that temple.
Dogen, the mysterious "Samurai" guy as Hurley calls him, is on the mainland in parallel world, too! He pops up at the piano tryouts for Jack's son as the parent of another child.
The lighthouse! As Jack says, "How have we never seen it before?" Per Jacob, Hurley leads Jack to the tower where there's a set of mirrors. Hurley is supposed to turn them to a certain degree, but as we get a close-up we see that each degree has a corresponding name. Ah, so the numbers are degrees! Jack notices too, turning the lamp toward his, where he gets a glimpse of his childhood house in the mirror. Enraged, he smashes the glass. I was yelling at my TV over Jack's stupidity, but Jacob assures Hurley that it's part of his plan. Sure, but who the heck is Wallace - the name at 108 degrees that the lamp was supposed to be pointed to?!

Whew, I'm exhausted from trying to wrap my head around all of that, but I'd love to hear your theories. Did you catch anything that I missed? Please share in the comments below, or head over to Lost Fans to chat some more!

Let's Get Lost: "What Kate Does" Recap

BuzzSugar — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 05:45:00 -0800

After the two-hour premiere packed in countless WTF moments, this week's Lost scales us back to a slower pace. As you might guess from the episode title, we're mainly following Kate this time around after she hijacked a cab - and during her escape from the temple (more on that later). Also picking up where last week left off: Sayid's miraculous resurrection, which turns out, may not be a good thing after all.

I've probably already given too much away (this photo alone is too revealing!), so let's go into total spoiler territory here, and chat about the episode in full. Just read more.

I'm dying to talk about Sayid's pill. Dogen - the spooky head of the temple who refuses to speak in English - gives Sayid a test by strapping him to a torture device. Sayid supposedly doesn't pass, so Dogen resorts to plan B, which consists of a pill. Turns out it's poison, and Dogen says a darkness is "claiming" Sayid, at which point he'll be impossible to save (read: evil). This could go one of two ways: Sayid becomes bad, or he finds a way to beat it. Where do you think it's headed? And what exactly happened in the water to prompt this?
Sawyer threatens the Others at gunpoint, so he can flee the temple. Kate offers to go after him to bring him back, but she's in for a rude awakening when she discovers him in his old house with an engagement ring (anyone else wondering how he tracked down a diamond ring?). Sawyer reveals that he was planning on proposing to Juliet - makes you wonder if Kate will finally end the love triangle and resign herself to Jack. Also, why do the Others say that it's imperative that Sawyer return?
As we saw before, Kate holds up a cab at gunpoint with Claire in the vehicle. She kicks her out, but has a change of heart upon discovering Claire's mommy things. They go together to visit the couple who's supposed to adopt Claire's unborn baby, but the woman says she can't because her husband left her. Right then Claire goes into labor, and Kate drives her to the hospital. I don't know why Claire is so quick to trust an ex-con, but we get a great cameo by Ethan, as in, Dr. Ethan Goodspeed, Claire's delivery doctor! I loved the irony here, especially when Ethan says he doesn't want to stick Claire with a needle unless he has to - he certainly wasn't so polite when he was poking and prodding Claire on the island. Do you think Claire will keep Aaron, or do you have any theories on someone else ending up with him instead? Do you think this is the last we've seen of Claire and Kate's relationship on the mainland?
Speaking of the hospital scenes, did anyone else notice how Kate almost seems to have a moment of recognition when she hears the name Aaron? More and more, the evidence seems to point - at least for me - that they're experiencing some weird dual reality. Do you agree?
Back on the island, Claire's alive! But she's changed. In perhaps the biggest shocker of the episode, we spot a jungle Claire, after she shoots down two Others who are attacking Jin. What's with her new persona? Well, if Dogen is to be believed, she's infected with the same disease as Sayid, as he tells Jack, "It happened to your sister." Let's not forget, Danielle Rousseau told of a "sickness" that forced her to kill her entire team. Does the same fate await Claire and Sayid?
Did you miss Locke/smoke monster and Ben in this episode? I did, and I cannot wait to see what Locke does with Sawyer next week, like the promo suggests.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts about anything and everything! What do you make of the latest speedbump in the Kate-Sawyer-Jack love triangle? And what will become of Claire's return? Let's start swapping speculation in the comments.

Dear John: Not Enough to Write Home About

BuzzSugar — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:30:00 -0800

Movies based on the work of writer Nicholas Sparks are very hit or miss. Though he consistently uses the same cliches in his tragic loves stories, the results aren't quite as consistent. On the one hand, the film versions can be romantic and endearing, like The Notebook, but other times, the formula produces a schlocky dud (sorry, Nights in Rodanthe).

The latest, Dear John, hangs somewhere in the balance. It's not a total miss but it's far from a home run - mainly due to the lack of chemistry between Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. The two play John and Savannah, a mismatched army man and affluent college girl who share a Summer romance and then keep in touch through letters while John's deployed overseas. It's the kind of movie you have to be a Nicholas Sparks fan to appreciate, but even his biggest supporters won't be satisfied. I'll tell you why when you read more.

It's not Tatum and Seyfried's fault John and Savannah's love story doesn't shake to your core; there may not be a lot of onscreen couples who can convince you that true love can be found in just two weeks. Thus, these are the shortcomings of Dear John: it's an unromantic love story with contrived twists that would be better suited in a Spanish telenovela.

There are a few elements that save the movie from being truly awful. As John's father, Richard Jenkins steals many scenes with his careful, sensitive portrayal of an autistic man who can't connect with his son. Tatum rises to the occasion as well, showing impressive range in his heavier scenes with Jenkins. Though his love scenes with Seyfried never really take off, the father-son relationship is enough to convince me that Tatum wanted his role to show he can act.

The other benefit the movie has is Lasse Hallström's direction. As in his previous films, like The Cider House Rules and What's Eating Gilbert Grape, there's an evocative, brooding atmosphere. It brings some weight to the screenplay, which would otherwise be overwhelmingly cheesy.

But like most Nicholas Sparks films, there's tragedy: For Dear John, it's the movie's inability to romance its audience.

Photos courtesy of Sony Pictures

House Rundown, "Moving the Chains"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 09:30:00 -0800

This week's House gave us a glimpse into the personal life of Foreman with the arrival of his straight-outta-jail brother Marcus (Orlando Jones). House, always the meddler, decides to bring the two guys together by hiring Marcus as his assistant - and of course, multiple jokes at Foreman's expense ensue. But is House just trying to get back at Foreman and, as he puts it, screw with him? Or are his intentions pure?

That's the dilemma that Wilson seems most curious to answer in the episode, and the show raised several questions for me, as well. Ready to take a look (and share your thoughts)? Just read more.

The scenes with Foreman and Marcus are the highlight of this episode for me. But why didn't Foreman tell anyone about his mother's death? You know there has to be more story there about his history with his mom, and I'd be curious to explore it. Perhaps they should keep Marcus around - would you like to see him as a full-time character?
Speaking of Marcus, do you think he's actually clean for good? Seems so, and the final scene where Foreman offers to let him stay with him instead of the halfway house was such a great interaction to watch (and great acting from both guys). Still, I wouldn't be surprised if things go awry when he moves in with Foreman just to test their relationship.
Can we talk about how tall the actor playing the football player is?! Poor Taub looked ridiculous next to him.
I almost wish the writers had given the story of the stop-lossed soldier his very own episode. He's purposely trying to injure himself to get out of his next call of duty - even shooting his own foot - but House refuses to help him follow through on his motives. That is, until the ending. Do you think House showed compassion by aiding in the removal of part of his leg? Or should he have just left him alone?
Well, no sign of sparks between Chase and Thirteen like last week. Maybe the writers aren't trying to set them up after all?
What did you think of the football player's case? It didn't really grab my interest - we've heard this injured athlete plotline before - but I did like his speech to Foreman when he talks about playing to support his mother.
The mysterious apartment pranking was pretty funny - especially when Wilson tries to use a tiny dish towel to save his flatscreen TV from the sprinklers. But I never considered that Lucas was the one behind the gags. Did you have him pegged as the culprit?

Please, weigh in with your thoughts in the comments! And then head over to the House! group to chat more.

Photos courtesy of Fox

Boyfriend Wants Me to Move Out and In With Him, Parents Don't

Tres Community — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:00:54 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

Hello all. I need help! I am 24 years old and currently in a two-year relationship. We are very serious, in love, and discussing our future together. I live at home with my parents because I am trying to save up money for when I go back to school in the Fall. I also plan on living at home during that time as well. Problem is, my boyfriend wants me to move in with him so we are able to spend more time together, especially since school will take up most of my time.

My parents on the other hand are completely against this. They have strong beliefs that I should be married and not living in sin. They have me kind of roped in because they have decided to pay for my schooling. I am so confused and do not know what to do. If I move in with my boyfriend, my parents may hate me forever and may not pay for my tuition, but if I stay at home then my boyfriend thinks we won't be able to spend as much time together and the relationship will suffer. My boyfriend and I have such a great relationship and this issue is the only one we ever get into an argument over. Should he be more understanding of my parents wishes, or should I be more understanding of his? What is the solution?!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community. Maybe we'll feature your content on TrèsSugar.

Source: Flickr User Debraj

Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me: Third Time May Be the Charm

LilSugar — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:30:47 -0800

A mother, a father, a son, and a daughter - what could be better? Hollywood's picture of the perfect family usually involves one child of each gender. Television and movies often perpetuate the image - you have Brenda and Brandon from the original 90210, Serena and Eric on Gossip Girl, and Ross and Monica on Friends. But a balance between the sexes isn't always in the cards. While there are countless myths about influencing the sex of a child, and science may allow parents to undergo procedures to determine a baby's gender, most parents are simply happy to have healthy children in their arms.

That doesn't always stop prying friends and family from asking about future children. When a colleague recently gave birth to her second son, the first words out of a friend's mouth were, "Now you can try for the girl!" She has been stopped by people on the street commenting how special the relationship is between a mother and daughter and someone even asked her if she was sorry she saved all of her Barbie dolls from her childhood.

If you had two boys or girls did you - or would you - have a third child in hopes of bringing a child of the opposite gender into the family?

We want to hear your shocking, funny, embarrassing, and insightful pregnancy and motherhood stories. Create a post and tell us all about it in our Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me? group.

Family Resolutions: Tips For Cutting Costs, Not Fun

LilSugar — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:30:39 -0800

Resolutions typically come in the form of self promises for weight loss, general health, a better work-life-balance, saving more money and being more organized. All tough goals when you are trying to keep up with feedings, sticky fingers and day-to-day life as a parent. Usher in the new year with productive goals that focus on the whole family. Check out some of my favorite family saving tips and resolution inspiration as you set your sights on a healthy, happy and green 2010!

Encourage the Kiddos to Make Resolutions - Whether their goal is to make a new friend or keep their room clean, let them take advantage of the fresh start.
13 New Uses For Old Household Items - Many a mom has bags or boxes full of old household items that seem useless and trash worthy. Before mommy throws everything away, check out Real Simple Family's suggestions on how to make old household items new again.
10 Simple Ways to Cut Everyday Costs - If you are starting a family you're probably worried about what you should and shouldn't splurge on, but families with one or more young children often have the toughest battle: how to cut back on the little expenses that add up big time. Here are some suggestions for near effortless ways to reduce your family's budget and be mindful of everyday costs.

For additional savings tips, read more.

Simple Ways to Waste Less and Save More - Tots are carefree so it's up to parents to incorporate food saving remedies into our family routines. While mama may be doing it to save a buck, it won't hurt that she's helping out the environment with these easy tips to reduce her brood's waste.
Have Your Baby, and Keep Your Budget Too - Hospital bills, wardrobes, and gear for baby can cost a small fortune but it doesn't have to! Check out these ten budgeting tips to ensure that your growing baby bump does not lead to a diminishing bank account.
Recession Proof Toys You Probably Have Around the House - Sometimes the answer to mama's prayers is a household item sitting right on the counter and in these tough economic times who has the cash to keep stocking up at the toy store? Check out the sundry items that can suit a tot's fancy and feel free to add to our list.
Five Economical Ways to Spend Time With Your Spouse - Once kids are in the mix, it can be difficult to squeeze in alone time with your spouse. In these tough economic times, the babysitting fund is often the first cut from the budget. Find time for your relationship by testing out one of these tricks with your partner.

Photo courtesy of Real Simple Family