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Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.

Will You See or Skip These August Movies?

PopSugarUK — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:00:00 -0700

August sees the release of big summer blockbusters at the big screen. From action films and animations to comedies and dramas, check out what movies are coming our way this month and let me know whether you plan to see or skip each film.

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Buzz Interview With the Cast of Precious, Part 2: Lee Daniels

BuzzSugar — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:30:17 -0700

Last week I shared with you my interview with Precious actress Paula Patton, but now it's time to hear from the director himself, Lee Daniels. I asked the Sundance-award winner - the film took home the Audience Award and Grand Jury Prize - how it feels to hear Oscar buzz, and what it's like when Oprah is on your speed dial. Plus, he opened up to me about how the movie helped him overcome from his own dark past. Ready for his incredibly candid responses?

On all the hype surrounding Mo'Nique's performance: I'm not the least bit surprised. It's magic onset. People are talking about this buzz, but she and I laugh it off, because we got a movie made, and there were no arrests! Seriously, the cops came, but they didn't shut us down. They said, 'OK, we'll give you five minutes.' There were no arrests, and no one got in any trouble, so for us, the win was finishing the film.

To hear more from Daniels, read more.

On how he felt when Oprah and Tyler Perry jumped on as producers: Tyler calls and says, "Hey, it's Tyler." Huh?! Oprah calls, "Heeeey." It's crazy! It gave me hope that people would see the film.
On the Oscar buzz: Why do people say that? What happens if you don't?! Then your feelings are so hurt. You teeter on wanting so desperately for it, but dare not dreaming for it, because your feelings are so crushed if it doesn't happen.

On why he wanted to make Precious: To heal. Some horrific things have happened to me [in my past], not only at home, but outside of my home life, [like] being openly gay. Being gay is nothing like it was when i was a kid - back in my day, you were literally stoned, a dislocated arm, teeth knocked out. So I try to see the light often. It's hard, because we all have hard lives, and some of us have it harder. What I like to find is people who have had lives just a little harder than mine [like Precious] so I can feel that mine wasn't as bad as it was.
On what he learned from making the film: I look at [the film] as a process. This was not a beautiful journey, because I learned so much about myself. I had been holding on to so much anger from the past, and it was making me an ugly person. It was making me judge people like Precious, because of who I was. How sad was that to find out at 50, that I would've lived such a better life if I had just let go of the hostility. [But once I let go] it felt beeautiful! Liberating!

I was so moved to hear Daniels talk about his own healing through the film - hopefully, it will have the same effect on others when it arrives in theaters next week.

Before the release, I'll be running my interview with Gabourey Sidibe, the newcomer that's making headlines for her Precious performance. Be sure to check back for that later - you're going to love her.

Photos courtesy of Lionsgate and Source

Say What? Karl Lagerfeld on Moms and Models

TresSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

"No one wants to see curvy women. You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly."

- Karl Lagerfeld weighs in on the never-ending debate about thin models. The once-overweight designer was responding to German magazine Brigitte's decision to use only "real women" as models. He disapproves. Based on his comments, it seems Karl doesn't think fashion is meant for a mom who might be carrying a little weight.

This isn't the first time a fashion icon has come to the defense of thin models by shifting the attention to overweight people. Anna Wintour said America should focus on obesity, and not anorexia, following a visit to Minnesota where she said people resemble "little houses."

Are you surprised Karl is so quick to discount the opinions of average women?

American Apparel Managers Told: Fire the Ugly People!

TresSugar — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:33:57 -0700

An American Apparel store manager sent Gawker an anonymous email claiming that controversial CEO Dov Charney was at it again.

The oft-sued Charney, this manager claimed, was demanding that underperforming AA stores send in photos of their sales staff to him so he could determine who wasn't good looking enough for the store. What would happen to these possibly hardworking folks who didn't enough resemble teenage Lolitas? Just guess:

"He made store managers across the country take group photos of their employees so that he could personally judge people based on looks. He is tightening the AA 'aesthetic,' and anyone that he deems not good-looking enough to work there, is encouraged to be fired."

If this allegation is proven, just wait for the lawsuits to roll in. (It's illegal, remember, to discriminate based on looks.) In the meantime, I guess I'm going to have to get my assless pantyhose from another purveyor. Perhaps the old school Frederick's of Hollywood?

Before and After: A Bathroom Makeover For Under $80

CasaSugar — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 11:00:33 -0700

Craftster member Nichola accomplished the admirable feat of making over her bathroom for under $80. Cheap, chic makeovers are always inspiring, and Nichola's bathroom definitely fits the bill. Before Nichola's bathroom got to this "before" status you see here, she spent three nights removing ugly, decrepit wallpaper that may have been original to the house. With this somewhat blank palette, Nichola went to work.

She notes, "Now, I really admire people who can use color, people who can grab a can of bright red paint and slap it on the wall, but I am not one of those people. I shamefully admit that I am one of those who grab a can of white, or off white and go to town."

Even if Nichola is shy of bright colors, she still pulled off an amazing makeover in more neutral colors. To see how it looks, read more.

Nichola hung a new mirror, added some furniture and accents (including that cool basket of dowel rods), painted, sewed and hung curtains, and crafted a silhouette portrait. She says, "In addition to being frightful of color I'm also cheap as can be and on a budget. Here's a rundown of my costs: $15, white eco friendly paint for the walls; $17, white floor paint; $35.99 mirror; $3.94, 2 metres fabric for curtains; $2, supplies for silhouette picture. Everything else was stuff from my stash (frames, vase, cotton to line curtains)."

The black and white palette looks very sophisticated, and all of the little touches are perfectly pulled off. Nichola notes that she's not quite done with all of the changes (how many of us home reno-ers ever are?), but that she's quite pleased with the results. As she should be! This bathroom looks fabulous!

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Gerard Abides the Law, Denies Dating Jennifer - Again

PopSugar — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:30:00 -0700

Gerard Butler was rolling solo yesterday for a walk in NYC. He's in the Big Apple to promote his latest film Law Abiding Citizen, which comes shortly after his The Gamer and The Ugly Truth hit theaters. Busy Gerard just wrapped work on The Bounty, and despite his many other projects, people are still asking about his costar Jennifer Aniston. He recently shared more about their rumored relationship, saying, "I love her to death . . . She's the coolest and she's become a great friend, but there's nothing going on. And if there was, I'd be happy to say it!"

Want to see more photos of Gerard? Just read more

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Professional Pics of Glamourpuss in Wigs: In the LINK of an Eye!

PetSugar — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:00:48 -0700

Sneak peek of beautiful cats from Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs - Urlesque
Scaredy cat tiger just won't climb down - Paw Nation
10 best restaurants to dine at with your furry friend - Open Table
Do you know pregnancy lengths for different mammals? - LilSugar
This ugly tool actually works - Haute or Not?
Mariah Carey and Barbara Walters have a dog name in common - People Pets
Francesca and Sharkey sniff out Mariani Gardens - The Daily Wag
Butterfly antennas use built-in GPS - Discovery News

Source: Urlesque

Bus Shelters to Milwaukee Teens: Pregnancy Stinks

TresSugar — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0700

It’s back to school for teens all across the nation. In Milwaukee, they’re taking this opportunity to make bus shelters bear the awful truth to teenagers: teen pregnancy stinks. How exactly? By featuring the image of a pair of huge, feces-stained diapers that claim to be scratch and sniff.

Actually, it’s only teen pregnancy that stinks, as the fine print will tell you:

This doesn’t really stink. But the consequences of teen pregnancy sure do. And this is just part of the ugly mess you’d be getting yourself into. Get the facts at babycanwait.com.

I wonder if the people who get close enough to read the writing are disappointed they don't get to smell crap? If you want to see what it looks like up close, read more.

Dealing With Rude People at the Gym

FitSugar — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 09:00:16 -0700

Working out is supposed to relieve stress and calm your nerves, but when I have to deal with rude people while trying to work out, it really aggravates me. If you find yourself putting up with inconsiderate and disrespectful fellow gym-goers, here is some advice from other FitSugar readers.

Syako says, "Usually I just ignore things that aggravate me or I find rude."
"People are quite often rude in my gym. Not to be rude per say, but just very self-involved with no consideration for others. Anyway, I use the opportunity to laugh in disbelief. The laughing puts me in a good mood." - michiny
StaceyP says to speak up for yourself. "I once had a woman jump in front of me to take a spot in a pool lane for which I had obviously been very patiently waiting for before she even walked through the door. As politely as I could, I stepped in and simply said that I had been waiting for it."
"My mother always said if people are in such a rush and rude, let them go." - TrnSmleShiftRpt
"I pity them. I feel sorry for people who have become adults and not yet learned how to treat other people with respect. I silently thank my parents for raising me with some sense that what I want isn't always the most important thing in the world. I take a deep breath and feel grateful for having a happy, full life, filled with people who love me; that getting the first bike in the class isn't the best thing that happened to me all day." - Vsugar

To see the other suggestions read more.

If there are rude people at the gym, one anonymous reader just exercises harder and says, "It is amazing how hard I can work out when I'm miffed."
Candace Foxx uses a little sarcasm when it comes to rude people. When a couple started using the piece of equipment she was about to use, she says, "I just stood there and stared. Then, after they were finished, the guy was like, 'Oh, were you using that?' I said, 'No, I just brought the bench clear across the room for you guys to use it.'"
You could always complain to the people who run the gym, suggests tlsgirl.
Even though you may not be able to make others be more polite, you can choose not to be rude yourself. NikkiRuby shares, "I have a tattoo that covers my entire back. One day I was running on the treadmill and mid run I had an older woman come up to me, stopped me from running and said, 'I don't understand why such a pretty girl would get such an ugly tattoo.' I could not believe it! . . . I just simply responded with, 'You don't have to be rude.' If she wants to live her life putting her negative energy on others that is her choice. I just can't be that cruel."