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Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.

Just Like a Hair: 15 of Madonna's Hottest Hairstyles

BellaSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:00:47 -0800

With the 25th anniversary of Like a Virgin's release this month, this seems like the perfect time for a retrospective on Queen Madge, whose style has shaped the taste of at least two generations of women. Madonna's had a surfeit of different hair colors and cuts, and the best ones look as good now as they did 10 or even 20 years ago. Click through to take a look back at the Material Girl's best hair moments, and find out how to get the looks for yourself.

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Zombieland: The Feel-Good Zombie Flick of the Year

TresSugar — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:30:23 -0700

A Note From Buzz: With so many new movies this week, my friend Très was nice enough to apply her scary-movie expertise to review the box office's newest zombie flick.

In the United States of Zombieland, zombies outnumber people. A mad-cow tainted burger tipped the population in favor of the drooling, limping, and grunting set, and now zombies roam a crashed-car littered, empty-minimall-blighted zombiescape.

Columbus (Adventureland's Jesse Eisenberg), the virginal antihero of horror-comedy Zombieland, has learned to survive this zombie apocalypse by keeping a list of necessary survival skills. Rule #1? Cardio. If you don't want zombies gnawing on you like an hors d'oeuvre, you'd better be fast and limber. In addition, beware of bathrooms, practice the "double tap" (make sure your zombie's actually dead after you kill him), and don't be a hero. (Regarding this last rule - some rules were made to be broken.)

When Columbus meets up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a swaggering cowboy type with a penchant for tank-like cars, shotguns, and Twinkies, and the spitfire sister duo of Wichita (Emma Stone) and Arkansas (Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin), Zombieland takes off like a scary/fun amusement park ride. To find out what happens on this motley crew's wild road trip from hell, read more

There's something funny about zombies and the zombie genre, and in his first feature film, director Ruben Fleischer plays their comic possibilities to the hilt. Zombies don't have what you'd call well-rounded personalities; they're pretty predictable. They have bad attitudes, come out of nowhere, grunt, and see all nonzombies as food to feast on. They're the perfect foil (or straight men, even) to a cast of characters with more than enough personality to make up for the zombies' boorish one dimensionality.

Take nebbishy Columbus. The world changed for him, he tells us in an early voice-over, when a pretty neighbor he calls #406, asks to stay over because a crazed homeless man tries to bite her. Sadly, although she falls asleep on Columbus's shoulder, she wakes up as a rabid zombie and begins chasing him around his apartment, forcing him to repeatedly knock her over the head with a toilet lid. "The first time I let a girl in my life," deadpans Columbus, "and she tries to eat me."

This kind of witty dialogue abounds in Zombieland, and although fans of gore and violence against zombies will be more than satisfied (Tallahassee's scenes of zombie-killing, especially, have a Tarantinoesque choreography to them), it's really the mismatched goofball characters and how they bond and evolve, surprisingly, that hold the film together. A hilarious cameo from Bill Murray in the Beverly Hills sequence of Zombieland, also, is practically worth the price of admission.

Harrelson chews the scenery as Tallahassee, but as we find out, part of the reason he's hell-bent on killing zombies is because they took away his baby boy. As for the sisters, tough-girl Wichita just wants to take care of her little sister Arkansas (who, as a good shot, doesn't seem to need much help), but a beautiful girl has needs, too, and before long she develops feelings for Columbus. Will he or won't he finally be able to live out his nerd-boy fantasy of brushing the hair over a girl's ear?

You probably know the answer to that question, but just because Zombieland adheres to certain formulas doesn't mean that it doesn't revive them in witty ways. Although the zombie-killing gore fest may not be for everyone, Zombieland's amazing visuals, charming characters, and witty dialogue may leave a goofy grin on your face as you leave the theater.

Photos courtesy of Sony Pictures

Get the Perfect Loose Curl With These Easy Tips

BellaSugar — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 07:00:13 -0700

For those of us with seriously straight hair, trying to get loose, soft curls like the ones Kat Dennings had on the red carpet for the movie Shorts can be maddening - your hair is too curly right out of the curling iron, so then you have to brush it out a little or put in some hair creme, then your curls won't stay in without a ton of hairspray, but that just makes them crunchy and heavy, so after a couple of hours they fall out anyway. It's a sad situation, but one that can be remedied. To get you curled up with the best of them, I've put together four easy tricks for getting the most out of your curl. Just read more.

Which Hair Colour Do You Like Most on Leslie Mann?

BellaSugarUK — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:30:00 -0700

Funny People, a new film starring Adam Sandler, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan is about to hit theatres in the UK on 28th August. It's made quite the splash in America already with it's hysterical cast and slapstick plot. For those of you who don't already know who Leslie Mann is (think Knocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin and Big Daddy) she's side-splittlingly funny, charming and to boot, she has perfectly taught skin. Yesterday, she was in London at a question and answer session at BAFTA and I just loved the colour of her strawberry blonde hair. It's a soft shade of not too red and not too blonde that complements that gorgeous milky skin. Out of these three different hair colour below, which do you like the most on Leslie?

Kate Moss Cuddles Up With Her Mate James Brown

PopSugarUK — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:51:02 -0700

Kate Moss has had a busy week - she spent an eventful weekend in the Cotswolds with her man Jamie Hince, and launched the 25th anniversary Virgin Atlantic flight to New York on Monday. Last night she was supporting one of her best friends James Brown, as he launched his first hair salon in London. Kate seemed to have a laugh with her buddy as she underwent a fake consultation for the cameras, dissolving into giggles as they cuddled up. She wore a very short dress that she seemed to have trouble keeping down as she arrived in her cab, but once inside all her wardrobe worries were forgotten as she hung out with James. Bella UK wants to know, would you trek into London for a haircut from a celeb stylist?

To see more photos of Kate Moss and James Brown last night, keep on reading!

Talking Soft and Natural Hair Color With Posh's Colorist

BellaSugar — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

The other day, I had a chat with the ultrafriendly celeb colorist Johnny Ramirez, of the Chris McMillan Salon in Beverly Hills, about techniques and products he used for his high-profile client, Victoria Beckham. Ramirez, who trained under famed color guru Michael Canalé (of Jennifer Aniston caramel highlights fame), also talked about where he gets his inspiration, along with color trends for Fall. Here's what he had to say:

On his approach to hair color:

"I look at my 4-year-old daughter's hair. She's got Gisele [Bundchen]'s hair color. It's an illusion. It looks really, really blonde, but when you crack it open, it's dark blond underneath. It's so natural - she's born with it. So I take that (inspiration from my daughter) and do it on someone that's older."
"When someone comes back from vacation, and they have virgin hair (meaning they have no artificial hair color), I always look to see their hairline and how their hair around their face looks. I duplicate that. Sunkissed highlights around the face are so subtle. I'll do (bleached) tips at the bottom, too. . . and comb to blend. When you do this it creates the illusion of soft, beachy hair - like you've been hanging out at the beach all month."

Regarding trends for Fall:

"Soft and natural hair colors just make your skin glow like you were born with it. Soft and natural - you just can't go wrong with that. Anytime you go really light or too dark it just doesn't look right, so just keep it very soft."

Photo courtesy of Johnny Ramirez.

Look Book Love: Agent Provocateur, Spring '09

FabSugar — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 05:00:22 -0800

So long pirates, welcome nymphs. Agent Provocateur's Spring '09 campaign, ironically dubbed the Virgins collection, takes the brand back to its in-your-face roots. Raw sensuality oozes from each shot. Fair-skinned, golden-haired models can be seen feeding one another grapes, teasing each other with delicate kisses, and lounging on tables full of fruits. It's not your everyday scene, but rather, a titillating escape from reality. Also in the Spring mix is British cutie Pixie Geldof, who models tuxedo-style body suits, whips, and sheer corsets. You know you want to take a peek.

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Beauty Flashback: Misty

BellaSugar — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:00:51 -0800

There's something innocent and dreamlike about this commercial, not just in its aesthetic, but in its message: That with the right hair equipment, we can all be as virginally beautiful as Susan Dey. It seems quaint to modern eyes, but I can't help but think that Dey was a more appropriate role model for girls than some of the modern-day panty-flashers out there. Good luck trying to get the jingle out of your head . . .

Which Hair Colour Do You Like Best on Scarlett Johansson?

BellaSugarUK — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

On Tuesday night in Spain, actress Scarlett Johansson debuted a new creamy brown hair colour at the premiere of The Spirit. I love the way this shade warms up her skin, but after taking a look at some of old photos, I also like the contrast between her eyes and the deep brown shade. Check out Scarlett's smooth virginal ashy-blonde hair back in 2001. It's pretty, but definitely not quite as sophisticated as the others. If you had to choose your favourite hair colour on Mrs. Johannson, what would it be?

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