Do you need someone to hold you if you're not logged in to Facebook? Simmer down now, I've found the antidote for what ails you: The Facebook Toolbar.
It's a free Firefox extension (so don't go switching to Chrome just yet) that adds a toolbar to your browser and lets you check your profile and search Facebook at all times.
You just have to be logged in for it to work. But then, you already were, weren't you?