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Flirting on Twitter

Tech Dating 101: He Only Direct Messages Me, What Gives?

Welcome to Tech Dating 101, our series that addresses the very complicated world of online and offline dating and how technology has changed the rules of the game.

I received a question from a reader who says she gets ample Direct Message love from a dude, but he never tweets at her. What, she wonders, is that all about? Check my answer after the jump.

Connecting with potential dates on Twitter can be confusing, but texting, IMs and online banter are all a critical element of dating a techie-friendly type. I chatted with a friend who had a similar situation and we concluded you should look into the following:

  1. Do you know his relationship status? If he has a girl, it appears he is intentionally hiding his interactions from her.
  2. If he is single, is he playing the field and hiding how he flirts online? Hint: Check his Facebook action, and see who he has tweeted at recently. Note: this is not considered stalking unless you make it a habit.
  3. Is he just shy or reserved about sharing personal information online in general? Hint: Does he pimp out his profile pages, or keep things vague? There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, in a world of constant updates, it can be refreshing. He may be an honest keeper who just wants to keep his private life private from the Internet.
  4. Does his awkwardness extend into real life? There's about a 10 percent chance he doesn't understand Twitter.

If he has a girlfriend — or a "it's complicated" situation — it sounds like he is interested in you (whether tweet-motionally or romantically) and trying to pursue you on the sly. If he doesn't have a girlfriend make sure he isn't playing the field too seriously, but he could just be a shy flirt. That being said, direct messages can be a sneaky, dirty business. Call him out by tweeting at him whenever he sends you DMs (assuming they are appropriate) and gauging his response. Best of luck!

Got a burning dating and technology question you need answered? Join our Tech Dating 101 group and share your conundrums and advice there with other GeekSugar lovers. Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
MatchesMalone MatchesMalone 5 years
a DM via Twitter is a way to talk to just one person, as you know. It may simply be that he wishes only to talk to the one person he's DM'ing, with no other thoughts in mind. It doesn't have to be anything more nefarious than that. I'm not understanding why you think there has to be something more going on. This goes to my firm belief that Twitter is nothing more than a global chatroom, where via DM, you may have a private conversation.
Matdredalia Matdredalia 5 years
I wanted to point out one other big thing here:If you have ever checked out STFUParents or STFUMarrieds, you'll notice there are A LOT of people who H-A-T-E people who "over share" on social networks, whether it be Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, whatever. And there are many of us who are inclined to agree with those folks. So, he may just not want to spam his friends (which are probably her friends, too) with a lot of mush that will make them unfollow him. Besides, Twitter is about mass conversation. If you're talking to ONE person constantly, isn't it better to keep it private?
Matdredalia Matdredalia 5 years
I wanted to point out one other big thing here: If you have ever checked out STFUParents or STFUMarrieds, you'll notice there are A LOT of people who H-A-T-E people who "over share" on social networks, whether it be Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, whatever. And there are many of us who are inclined to agree with those folks. So, he may just not want to spam his friends (which are probably her friends, too) with a lot of mush that will make them unfollow him. Besides, Twitter is about mass conversation. If you're talking to ONE person constantly, isn't it better to keep it private?
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