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He CC'd Me on an Email To His Mom

Tech Dating 101: He CC'd Me on an Email to His Mom

A friend of mine needs some advice: last week, her brand-new boyfriend (we're taking days here, not even weeks) wrote an email list of gifts he wanted for Christmas, sent it to his mom, and CC'd my friend. To be fair, my friend did ask him to send her his Christmas wish list, but she never expected him to send the same list to his mother at the same time.

She's a little freaked out because she thinks this is a sign of him moving too quickly. On the flip side, he is very close to his mother, and maybe he just thought he'd kill two birds with one stone by sending one email instead of two. Then again, now his mom has my friend's email address. . .even though the two are weeks away from actually meeting face-to-face. So of course my friend asks me, "What do I do? Do I reply to both of them? Do I write him back at all?"

I must admit, giving her advice on this problem kind of stumped me. I'm torn between a couple of responses; to see what they are (and help me out!),

Potential advice A: Reply all with a short and sweet "Thanks for the heads up!" and let it go. This requires giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, which I'm not quite sure is the right move here, but I think it could be the way to go. See if his mom responds. Chances are, she knows her son well enough to know his intentions. Maybe he's even done it before. The only caveat: if she responds to you, you're stuck. You can't ignore an email from mom, which means being prepared for any kind of wacky proposal, from her asking what gift you're planning on buying him to suggesting going halfsies on something together.

Potential advice B: Don't respond to the email. Address it with him in person as soon as possible. Tell him it made you uncomfortable, and tell him why it made you uncomfortable. You'll have to tread delicately since I'm guessing he doesn't realize what a big deal this is to you. Explain that even though it might have been a to-the-point email, it makes you uncomfortable to be included on the same thread as his mother.

Potential advice C: Run. Fast. In the other direction.

Just kidding on the last one — but help a girl out! What's the best solution to the problem?

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LilGlamDiva LilGlamDiva 7 years
Completely overreacting. It's a christmas list (I post mine online and just send people the link, pretty impersonal but gets the job done) He didn't CC her on an e-mail about wedding plans I don't think it's a reason to run...
Miss-Tina Miss-Tina 7 years
Hey just so you know Anonymous, you are wrong this is what it says "wrote an email list of gifts he wanted for Christmas, sent it to his mom, and CC'd my friend. To be fair, my friend did ask him to send her his Christmas wish list, but she never expected him to send the same list to his mother at the same time." Which clearly states she DID ask for a list.
Miss-Tina Miss-Tina 7 years
Hey just so you know Anonymous, you are wrong this is what it says"wrote an email list of gifts he wanted for Christmas, sent it to his mom, and CC'd my friend. To be fair, my friend did ask him to send her his Christmas wish list, but she never expected him to send the same list to his mother at the same time."Which clearly states she DID ask for a list.
midori0e midori0e 7 years
I don't CC my closest relative or significant other unless they asked me to specifically and also its more acceptable to copy and paste the email and email it back to the person. Hope it helps.
L7amiguita L7amiguita 7 years
GROW UP!!! It's not a big deal at all. The girl is the one that is nutzo.
Jen-Erate Jen-Erate 7 years
I personally never reply to CC unless it directly affects me. If the person wanted me to reply I assume they would have put me in the main adressee list. I treat this as more of a "for your information." As for the guy in this case, there are too many variables without knowing him better. Maybe he has been out of a relationship for a while and his mom has been bugging him about meeting someone. Maybe this is just a coy way to get her off his back.
Miss-Tina Miss-Tina 7 years
I guess I am the odd girl out here. I constantly get group emails. I never think that who else they are sending it to is sending a message to me. I guess I have been in a relationship entirely too long because I don't see how receiving any email outside of one showing me a new house he bought me was moving too fast. It saves time in a busy world. It was just a Christmas list. In my opinion guys would CC everyone on a Christmas shopping list email because to them it is annoying to even have to do it in the first place. And in my opinion if they are really as new as they are implying why would she be asking for a Christmas list anyway? Isn't her assuming that they will be together in a month moving just as fast as him sending her a mass email with his family?!
Miss-Tina Miss-Tina 7 years
I guess I am the odd girl out here. I constantly get group emails. I never think that who else they are sending it to is sending a message to me. I guess I have been in a relationship entirely too long because I don't see how receiving any email outside of one showing me a new house he bought me was moving too fast. It saves time in a busy world. It was just a Christmas list. In my opinion guys would CC everyone on a Christmas shopping list email because to them it is annoying to even have to do it in the first place. And in my opinion if they are really as new as they are implying why would she be asking for a Christmas list anyway? Isn't her assuming that they will be together in a month moving just as fast as him sending her a mass email with his family?!
J-Rabbit J-Rabbit 7 years
I think it's a bigger deal that she asked him for his Christmas list after they've only been dating a couple of days. That's pretty presumptuous! I don't think he meant any harm by cc'ing the friend. On the other hand, maybe he was trying to scare her off...
sontaikle sontaikle 7 years
This is one of those scenarios where I think it would help to know the guy in question. Is he kind of clueless in general? Well if he is, then I wouldn't overthink this too much
lexib0t lexib0t 7 years
You have got to be kidding me! This is yet another reason I'm happy I'm a female, I don't have the be on the receiving end of crazy relationship assumptions. I've never met/talked/read about a guy getting paranoid about something as trivial as this.Getting CC'ed makes things easier for the guy, he can kill two birds with one stone. Also, there's this little thing called 'Reply' that will only reply to the sender. Who says she has to interact with the Mom at all? Yea, the Mom might initiate contact but unless it's something totally crazy, what's the big deal? I'm assuming these 2 have been dating or known each other for a bit before jumping into the whole "Hey, let's be exclusive!" deal. If not, they've got way bigger issues than getting CC'ed on an email.
lexib0t lexib0t 7 years
You have got to be kidding me! This is yet another reason I'm happy I'm a female, I don't have the be on the receiving end of crazy relationship assumptions. I've never met/talked/read about a guy getting paranoid about something as trivial as this. Getting CC'ed makes things easier for the guy, he can kill two birds with one stone. Also, there's this little thing called 'Reply' that will only reply to the sender. Who says she has to interact with the Mom at all? Yea, the Mom might initiate contact but unless it's something totally crazy, what's the big deal? I'm assuming these 2 have been dating or known each other for a bit before jumping into the whole "Hey, let's be exclusive!" deal. If not, they've got way bigger issues than getting CC'ed on an email.
Raynne413 Raynne413 7 years
I think she's over reacting. She ASKED for a list, he sent her a list. His mother probably also asked for a list, and he was just sending it out in the easiest way possible. We females need to remember that males are much simpler creatures than we are. :)
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 7 years
I'd say don't respond to the email. If you're dating you'll see each other face to face. Plus it's only a christmas list. Not an inquiry as to the next date. If the mom replies, it's not likely it'll be directed toward you anyways. I think you friend is over reacting.
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 7 years
I'd say don't respond to the email. If you're dating you'll see each other face to face. Plus it's only a christmas list. Not an inquiry as to the next date. If the mom replies, it's not likely it'll be directed toward you anyways.I think you friend is over reacting.
magickalrealism magickalrealism 7 years
This is just him being efficient. And guys that are close to their moms always tell them right away about the girlfriend.
TidalWave TidalWave 7 years
I don't see the big deal here either. I doubt you have anything to worry about with his mom knowing your email address.
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
I would suggest going with "Potential advice A". I don't think it's a big deal at all. She asked him to send her his wish list, and that's exactly what he did. And if his mom does reply she should happily respond in a friendly manner. It might even make meeting face to face a little less awkward than it might normally be.
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 7 years
I don't think this is a big deal at all. I think he was just killing two birds with one stone.
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