Note the day. Wednesday, Aug. 27, when everything we knew about life changed. Hello Kitty, it turns out, is not a cute cat but a little girl. What. But she has whiskers. . .

Professor Christine R. Yano, author of Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty's Trek Across the Pacific, uncovered the truth. After sending a script for a Hello Kitty exhibition debut to Sanrio, the company set her straight. According to Yano, Sanrio told her: "Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature."

The Internet is not happy about this, of course — who would be?! If you agree that all your childhood might have been a lie, these are the tweets you need to see now.

Can Sanrio just stop and listen to the wisdom of Josh Groban?!


This had better not filter down to other Sanrio characters.


So a Hello Kitty happy hour . . . that we can't invite Hello Kitty to now that she's a little girl.


But will Hello Kitty have to pay a fare on her own airplane?


Wait. This is getting too meta.


Again. Can we point out the logical fallacies behind this cat actually being a human?


Thank you, Peanuts crew, for letting some things remain sacred.