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Office Slang: K-P

For those of you who haven't been following my series on office slang that I think should to be incorporated into everyday vocabulary, welcome. For those of you who have been tuning in, welcome back.

The word of today is "Mouse Potato," which describes our culture's transcendence from TV addicts to internet addicts. For example: "I spent all of Sunday sitting at my desk being a Mouse Potato, so I really need to go to the gym and get out in the world today."

For other noteworthy office terms you should know,

Keyboard Plaque - The nasty buildup of dirt, food particles and dust found on some people’s computer keyboards. "I really need to find the can of dry air because I've got a terrible case of Keyboard Plaque."

Mouse Potato - The online generation’s answer to the couch potato. "I spent all of Sunday sitting at my desk being a Mouse Potato, so I really need to go to the gym and get out in the world today."

Ohnosecond - That tiny fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error. "It only took an Ohnosecond for me to notice I'd left a piece of tinfoil in the microwave."

Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute. "Sometimes I wish I was an Open-Collar Worker so I could wear PJs and no one would know!"

Percussive Maintenance - The art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. "Sometimes when the printer doesn't work I perform a little percussive maintenance on it and it gets right into shape."

Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn’t require training. “That new girl is great and so self motivated. She's completely plug-and-play.”

Prairie Dogging - When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what’s going on. "Marsha is all about Prairie Dogging. Every time Brady performs his goofy stunts she starts popping up to try and get in on the action."

For additional tips, visit Office Slang.

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Join The Conversation
snikerdoodle snikerdoodle 5 years
These are great! But I would avoid using Prairie Dogging...for anyone who's seen Rat Race it brings to mind a very different image!
c0rkie c0rkie 8 years
WOW new lingo! are these for real???
haute-kitty haute-kitty 8 years
love the slang... it's hilarious... i work with people all a lot older than me and I so want to get them saying this stuff! lol :-p
poetess poetess 8 years
cute jargon.
poetess poetess 8 years
cute jargon.
woodycakes woodycakes 8 years
i have ohnohours :D
woodycakes woodycakes 8 years
i have ohnohours :D
suvana suvana 8 years
All these (plus preceding) are taken from the Jargon File... been around for years :)
daiane daiane 8 years
love the mouse potatoe, it's excellent!!!
rubialala rubialala 8 years
:ROTFL: I love this set, I can identify with all of them! That Ohnosecond will get you every time.
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