I'll admit it: technology has made the early stages of dating a lot easier. For instance, you no longer have to work up the nerve to call a guy you're into — just fire off a witty text message or IM and avoid awkward pauses on the phone altogether! It's a lot easier to type out something you might have trouble expressing in a face-to-face situation. (Exhibit A: Texts From Last Night. Do you think half of the things said via late-night text would ever see the light of day in a face-to-face or phone call situation?)
Another admission: it's a whole lot easier for me to talk to a guy online than it is in person. And if it's easier for me, I assume it's easier for a guy, too. But that creates a whole other set of issues. What happens if you connect great with someone while chatting online or via text, but there's still a ton of in-person shyness and awkwardness. It's happened to me more than once, but I was able to overcome it. To find out how,
After meeting a guy and exchanging information, we started chatting online and immediately hit it off. We didn't see each other face-to-face for a week or two, and when we did we both suddenly reverted to our shy selves, never mind the amazing, insightful conversations we'd had. Thankfully, we both realized the problem and were able to overcome it. Here's how:
- Stop online chatting. OK, that may be a little extreme, but at least slow it down. One of my favorite Someecards reads, "Let's temporarily avoid each other's blogs, tweets and Facebook updates so we have something to talk about on our date." This is so true! Not only is it easy to virtually stalk him, it takes all of the fun out of getting to know each other.
- Talk about your online conversations. A simple, "That story about your dog that you told me online today was hilarious," worked wonders. It reminded him that I was the same girl that he happily typed to all day — and that I was paying attention.
- Don't overshare just because you're online. It's much easier to divulge more personal information when there's a computer screen in front of you instead of a real person. When you're just getting to know someone, If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't type it out, either.
It's tough, but a little online distance will only make the face time you spend with your new guy even more exciting.
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