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Tech Dating 101: Why Is He Using FB to Get to Know Me?

Welcome back to Tech Dating 101, a geek's advice for when love intersects tech, from changing your relationship status to gadgets in the bedroom.

Used to be someone got your phone number if they were into you. Now there are multiple avenues for getting in touch with someone, but is the phone still the preferred form of initial communication?

My latest tech dating issue has to do with what it means if someone chooses to pursue using the ever-popular social network, Facebook. It seems that many of my girlfriends have been experiencing the Facebook reach-out — they meet someone somewhere, and though they're never asked for phone numbers, a few days later, there it is. A friend request.

The next communication happens on their wall or inbox; it's not quite Facebook stalking, but it's the modern alternative to you know, calling someone and getting to know them over the phone, or (gasp!) in person. So is it OK to be pursued on an electronic basis?

To see my answer, just


My first impulse about someone who's doing the electronic-only reach-out is that they're either really shy or that he's interested, just not interested enough yet and is feeling you out in a pretty non-committal way. If they're chatting you up online and decide they're not into you, then the recon they've been doing can be easily re-molded into getting to know you as a friend. In my experience, it's a way of buying time before they decide if they should take the big step of calling you and making a date.

Of course, there is the huge possibility that they're just shy — I have a guy friend who uses this as his primary form of hitting on girls because he is way too anxious to ask a girl for her phone number in person. And of course, maybe the person didn't ask you for your number on the spot because they didn't have the chance, buuut I'd better stop now before I get into the dreaded HJNTIY excuse territory.


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