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Arguing With Your Mother About Appearance

Do You and Your Mother Argue About Appearance?

We're excited to present this article from one of our favorite sites, Allure!

During a recent WE TV press event, Melissa Rivers spoke up about her mother Joan's numerous plastic surgeries. "In my opinion, it's, like, enough," Melissa said. "Stop it. It is a source of conflict, it really is. It bothers me." Mama Rivers, who has admitted to more than a dozen plastic surgeries, sees no problem with going under the knife (as she discussed in last year's documentary about her).

While we know that Joan and Melissa's plastic surgery clash is an extreme case, it's true that plenty of mothers and daughters have different ideas about beauty. In fact, it's such a big topic that Georgetown University linguistics professor Deborah Tannen wrote a book in 2006 devoted to the subject.

We might not have to tackle greater issues like cosmetic surgery addiction, even the small questions like, "Am I wearing too much makeup?," can turn into a battle. For me, the source of conflict sometimes revolved around my hair. When I went through a phase of religiously ironing my wavy hair, my mother kept telling me that my natural look was prettier and had more volume. Now that I look back at it, she was right...but the teenage version of me would never have admitted it.


What beauty battles do you have with your mother?

More stories from Allure:
What food makes you prettier?
Five hot fragrances you'll want to wear in 2011

Image Source: Getty
Join The Conversation
wolvesvane wolvesvane 6 years
my mom will always ask me if i want some powder that she keeps in her purse if i leave the house without make-up. it's terrible, i just want to ask if she really thinks i'm that ugly that she doesn't want to be seen with me if it looks like i didn't paint my face on. :l she wears too much and it doesn't look natural or good. i've stopped wearing a lot too since i've been in a relationship with my boyfriend, since his comments about me being prettier with no make-up definately outwiegh my mother and pull my self esteem out of the dirt. :3
yellinln yellinln 6 years
Both of my sisters (and my mom) are brunettes, but my hair was always dirty blond. I've tried going dark a few times because it requires less maintenance, but my mom always tells me that she prefers my hair blond.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 6 years
It's interesting because I think the source of the conflict lies in that daughters see their mothers as asexual (um, hopefully at least) whereas the mother still wants to be considered attractive. Anyways, my mom hates when I don't have any makeup on, it's always "you look tired."
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
My mom and I never argue about looks. She never put a lot of emphasis on looks. She's amazingly put together and takes great care of her appearance, but she's never been pretentious about it or anything. My dad is vocal, though. He hates my short hair. He hates when I use a straightener. He hates when I dye it any other color than my natural dark brown. He hates when I wear lipstick. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I don't pay any attention to it.
Jaime-Richards Jaime-Richards 6 years
A friend of mine always makes me laugh when she talks about the fact that her mom wishes she would go back to her pouffy hair days. As in CLAW bangs. Yikes.
JessicaM25 JessicaM25 6 years
My mom thinks it's best when I'm wearing barely there makeup. :/
BellaH68 BellaH68 6 years
Yep, my mom only thinks I'm pretty when I'm tan. Its hard to let go of that mindset when you have grown up with it though.
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