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Bitchface tips

Tips For Battling B****face

I just found a story on bitchface, an unfortunate affliction that affects so many of us. When people ask you why you look so angry/upset/bitter—while you're feeling anything but those things—that's bitchface.

Without using the term, the article talks about how your face could be sending the wrong message—in effect, projecting an unhappy persona even if you're completely content. This has happened to me before; people have asked me why I'm so "serious," but I suspect that's only because I'm not walking around with a huge grin on my face. And then, of course, are the strangers who'll say, "Can't I get a smile? Let me see a smile!" (I usually give them a simpering grimace.) In reading the story and thinking about bitchface in general, it makes me wonder: Are men told to smile more as well? Do they worry about having "jerkface"? Somehow, I think the answer is no.

If you are prone to bitchface—and are uncomfortable with that—the story has a few suggestions. One doctor echoes the advice I once received from a dermatologist: If you don't want wrinkles, don't make any facial expressions. (Um, okay.) Otherwise, there are a few simple, non-surgical bits of advice. To find out what they are,

  • Get relaxed. Any activity that promotes relaxation, such as yoga, tai chi, guided imagery, hypnosis or breathing, “leads to a net response of decreased muscle tension, which can make meaningful differences” to a face that looks stressed, worried, angry or tired, says clinical psychologist and dermatologist Dr. Richard Fried.
  • Arch your brows. Damone Roberts, who's opening a brow-centric salon in Manhattan, says a full, gently rounded arch gives the softest, friendliest look. Be sure to pluck stray hairs, and use brow gel to keep hairs from hanging into your eyes.
  • Brighten your eyes. Roberts recommends using a concealer a shade lighter than the skin under the eyes, then applying mascara and eyeliner applied to the top lashes and lids only.
  • Magnify lips. To make thin lips seem plumper, Roberts says, place lip liner similar to the lips’ natural color just outside their natural lines; top with matching lipstick. (Personally, I don't like liner that goes outside the lip line, but your mileage may vary.)


blooditsnotfunny blooditsnotfunny 9 years
Hahaha! You know who has a serious case of bitchface? Lindsay Lohan! She always looks so mad..
ckeller825 ckeller825 9 years
lol, i definitely suffer from the b*tchface syndrome. And I absolutely H-A-T-E when guys call out for me to smile. just let me be!!!
sugar_me_sweet sugar_me_sweet 9 years
I have street face and I don't care what people think. I don't want anyone to think I am an easy target. I put on the face so people can get out of my way so I can get something accomplished for the day. I didn't realize that I wasn't the only one that did that. When people, men, tell me to smile, I just smirk. What I really want to do is turn into a monster and bite their head off. :D
Anadi Anadi 9 years
I have a b*tch face, but I can say it only bugs me to a certain degree. The sad thing is that I realized this just like two years ago when we had to do some exercices where you had to describe how you perceive people around you. Almost everyone in that room said they saw me as serious and unfriendly, which I have to admit made me a real b*tch at the moment hahaha. I also have a really close friend of mine, that told me once that when she first met me she was afraid of me because I look mean most of the times. But, the b*tch face those come in handy when I don't want too much people around me. So it has it definitely has its pros and cons.
BarelyThere1 BarelyThere1 9 years
I have b****face and I'm not ashamed of it anymore!! But it's not just men who are guilty of expecting you to have perma-smile. I once had a female supervisor give me a "satisfactory" rating at my exit interview instead of "exceptional" based soley on the fact that I didn't smile enough and it made "other" people feel uncomfortable which in turn made her look bad (so SHE claims...she didn't like me from day one.) However, I always greeted people (even strangers) while in the office and was friendly. But this was a woman who smiled no matter what she was saying...I suspect she would smile while informing you that your parents just died in a horrific car accident. She was also a horrible gossip and an expert manipulator...I never joined with her in these behaviors when she attempted to bait me (hence her not liking me from day one...and when I tried to engage her in more adult conversation, she was noticeably uninterested). She was at once both extremely egotistical and severely lacking in self-confidence. It's true that my face when neutral appears a bit angry, but more importantly, I am very thoughtful, reserved, and don't spew verbal diarrhea. So, I am certain she used the excuse of "other" people being uncomfortable to mask her own discomfort with a female who 1)had more class 2)had more confidence 3)was independent (she's a 45 year old woman who refers to her father as "daddy" for godssake. And she openly admits that she didn't get her first job until she was 26 years old! Spoiled!) But here's my advice...when a woman tells you to smile or that you don't do it enough-or whatever-she is likely very afraid that you have it more together than she does (and you probably do) which will make her defensive and angry. When a man tells you such things, he probably feels that his superiority is threatened and he must get it back (even unconsciously)--don't cave in to these commands. The fact that a strong woman makes someone question himself/herself is not your problem, it's theirs. Say, "I'm wondering...when's the last time you told a MAN to smile?" Honestly, I think a woman being told to smile in the workplace borders on sexual discrimination/harrassment...let's sue. By the by...during this exit interview I was secure in knowing that I had a much much better job already lined up and in the bag. In the end, she said she would still hire me back because even though I seemed "angry," I was always there on time and did everything asked of me. I told her, "Not-a-chance-in-hell..." And thinking about what was in store for me, I walked out with a truly HUGE smile on my face :)
Rnicolew Rnicolew 9 years
I really thought I was crazy or maybe I did suffer from some deep rooted issues that just come out through my facial expressions. ITS NOT ME!!!!!!! What is a good comeback for the idiot that says "SMILE!" The "Sorry, Ive already given to charity" is a good one!
italianblonde italianblonde 9 years people have a term to use when they call my non-smiling to my attention! I just happen to have bitchface as my everyday-face, but it kinda creeps me out that I know some people who always look pleasant. I'm unaware of it, but I don't mean it!
sugarbritches sugarbritches 9 years
I don't "Suffer" from bitchface, I enjoy it! Every freaking minute of it! If I want to make friends I make eye contact and when I just want to get to my car or through the check out lane out comes bitchface and I don't have to deal with it. Anyone who doesn't understand that is drawing fire if you ask me. I hate that "You're so much prettier when you smile" comment too. How about "And isn't that just so unfair? All the smiling in the world isn't going to take the fug off you..." for when they really make you mad or are totally pesty.
Allotrios Allotrios 9 years
I like my bitch!face. When I was in high school, the cafeteria was always so noisy and smelly and crowded, and every other word to grace your ears began with the letter "F". I hated it. I would take my bagged lunch (to avoid waiting in line with all the other drones) all the way to the Back and sit at My Table every day. And it would be, and STAY, completely deserted. And I mean one of those long folding tables. No matter how busy the lunchroom got, I just looked so mean that no one approached. Which was fine by me: 1) I hate crowds. 2) I hate people. 3) I hate cafeterias. 4) I was trying to do my homework. I didn't need some smelly jackass muscling in on my territory and making loud, rude conversation when I needed that space to do my homework and ensure that I wouldn't have to do any when I got home. I never realized this until a friend came over and started chatting with me and said that if she didn't already know me, she'd be afraid to come over! But again...I preferred it that way and still do.
UrbanBohemian UrbanBohemian 10 years
It's hard to approach people who constantly wear a bitchface. I wonder if they realize that they are actually doing it. If it's intentional, then they are sending the messages they want to send.
babiedutchess babiedutchess 10 years
haha! i swear i thought i was the only one who suffered from this! =D
BKNYGal BKNYGal 10 years
When people tell me to smile, I just say, "Sorry, I've already given to charity." Daisies LOL - I'm so going to use that! I love it!
BKNYGal BKNYGal 10 years
I'm a New Yorker - Brooklyn Girl..the b****face is permanent. Deal with it. Who walks around smiling at strangers anyway?? Won't you look like a lunatic?
SoftRockStar SoftRockStar 10 years
LOL. I thought I was alone in this.
mominator mominator 10 years
The shape of my lips are like a constant frown and I hate it. Even as a child my dad would tell me to smile or ask why I was mad and could not understand why he and everyone always thought I was mad. He would tell me my face was going to freeze that way. I thought that was what had happened until I realize it was because of the shape of my lips.
pebby01 pebby01 10 years
ok wow, i just found this post. i have a lot to say. i was recently told by some of my professors that i looked sad all the time and they thought i was depressed. i had no idea what they were talking about, i am not depressed and i have a positive attitude and this had never been an issue before. what they were mistaking as "sadness" was my facial weakness and assymetry. the left side of my mouth droops (from facial muscle weakness possibly caused during birth) and my face is not symmetrical (my eyes are off-plane, and as i said, my mouth is crooked). their comments really upset me and i started to cry. i was let go from an internship partly due to what my supervisors also misktook as sadness or depression. i can see how a lot of people find humor in bitchface, but it really messed up my graduate studies. and it was just because THEY have the problem of misinterpreting me!! also, i spent last summer in sweden, where no one smiles (just like twinkle said the same of finland). so after coming back from there, i guess my face is even more "serious." i don't understand why for some people it's an issue, and others can get away w/ not smiling all the time. i can't walk around with a plastered smile on my face!!! thanks for posting about this, bella!
kellybean301 kellybean301 10 years
i needed to see this! i have been asked by many guys at the bar to "put a smile on my face"... and although i've never been mad or upset at the bar, i now know i suffer from "bitchface". thanks for bringing this to my attention bella! :)
lizadilly lizadilly 10 years
i hate when strangers tell me to smile, as if i am not a person with complex feelings and trials, but just a prop PYT to make pervy old goats feel warm inside. boys do NOT get that!
vanilla19 vanilla19 10 years
Sounds so much like me! What am I supposed to do, put on a fake silly grin?
ispyemo ispyemo 10 years
I totally have b*tch face. i always get asked if i am mad when im not all the time. i need to work on it.
slumberlite slumberlite 10 years
Twinkle, I need to move to Finland. Sounds like a B-face utopia.
gun-honey gun-honey 10 years
I only know two people who regularly get called on for their bitchfaces and they're both men! So I don't think it's a sexist thing. My boyfriend is one of them and he hates it - he can often be heard ranting, "Why do I have to smile??? Why the (#*&)*@ do I have to smile?! Is it any of their business??!" while I laugh at him. I mean, I know ;)
Daisies Daisies 10 years
When people tell me to smile, I just say, "Sorry, I've already given to charity."
Twinkle1 Twinkle1 10 years
OMG I'm so glad to know there is a name for my condition. When I lived in the South I was constantly being told to "Smile honey". or being asked "What's wrong Sweetie?". Personally I think people who walk around with a constant smile must be insane or high. Now that I live in Finland I blend right in because no one smiles. :P
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