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Do Good Looks Bring More Perks, or More Pain?

Some people think they have it rough. And then there are the preternaturally attractive, some of who claim that being beautiful is its own burden. They insist that because of their looks, they aren't taken seriously, that they're ignored, and that their self-esteem has suffered. "Nobody talks to you," says one woman of her plight. "Nobody wants to take you out."

While I think people do make assumptions upon appearance, let's be honest: I think beautiful people experience more perks than problems. What do you think? Is it difficult to be really, really, ridiculously good looking? And are there any assumptions — positive or negative — that you have about the physically attractive?


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keiraz keiraz 9 years
It does especially in work places!!
chiquita29 chiquita29 9 years
I agree with you KathleenxCouture!
Surferchic95 Surferchic95 9 years
Retro Bunny Austerity I totally agree with you guys... I am naturally a friendly person but I find it hard to always have to smile when I am entering somewhere...or the unwanted attention is def NOT a perk... I love the fact that I was not born ugly or something but I hate that people assume that you are not smart-I have a 3.8 GPA and am treated like a "dumb beauty"... You know what I hate the most though? the fact that guys are coming up to my LITTLE BROTHER to try to pry info about me out of him...oh and the fact that I get stared down by guys that are way older than me! I mean I know I look good but please don't call me "Baby"..
KathleenxCouture KathleenxCouture 9 years
Bella has posted these kinds of blogs before and of course there are people that will say "yes, i believe i am beautiful" and then there are the others who say its not humble enough for them to say that but it really does all boil down to personality. I was just simply stating that sometimes I find it harder for people to want to get to know me initially because of my looks but when I strike up convos with them they are surprised at how pleasant and funny I am. And I'm not saying im gods gift to man or that EVERYONE thinks i'm pretty. I am happy with the way I look and I consider myself to be quite attractive. I also think I have a great personality but is that so wrong? Is it wrong to celebrate my happiness with myself once in a while? I don't think saying "yes, i consider myself to be attractive" to be self-absorbed or snotty or make me less of a good person. I think everyone should find the good in themselves and what they think makes them beautiful and celebrate it because in the end its what and how you feel about yourself that matters because everyone has a different way of interpreting beauty. Some societies and cultures have very specific ways of perceiving beauty so to each his/her own.
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 9 years
I think if you're a b*tch, no matter what you LOOK like, you're ugly.
austerity austerity 9 years
totally agree with you on the last few lines. Few people are going to measure the symmetry of your nose when you're confident, cute and fun to be with.
yellowbanana yellowbanana 9 years
I would definitely say that there are more perks to being conventionally beautiful. I'm definitely not perfect but I am pretty cute. I've never gone to a job interview and not gotten the job. This could be attributed to other factors as well...I'm hardworking, conversational, I know what people usually want to hear. But having good genes I'm sure helps. That said, there are downsides. A lot of people assume I'm not smart. Guys think they have the right to hit on me just because I'm there. Can I also just say that everyone has a different idea of beauty. And taking care of yourself makes a HUGE difference, as well as projecting confidence and smiling a lot.
ashleykins ashleykins 9 years
It all boils down to your personality anyway. No matter how beautiful you may be, or think you may be, a bad attitude makes you ugly. Vis Versa.
Retro-Bunny Retro-Bunny 9 years
Shopper90210 Me-ow! ;D How can we be sure that only 5% of the population is beautiful? Lame, I know, but I don't really find anyone particularly unattractive! And in defense of my very insecure teenage ego, I don't find myself "attractive". I find myself homely looking. I was simply making a comment about being tall&blonde, nothing more or nothing less. :D And I think your whole situation depends on your attitude too. If you're positively confident about whatever looks you have, you'll project that onto other people.
BlooBayoo BlooBayoo 9 years
Remember, pretty has a shelf life (Sofia Loren aside) and most people know that. I'd rather be a regular Jane and know that the people who love me do so because of who I am rather than always wonder if the people around me really saw me for who I was rather than the reflected glory of being by my side.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
Come on. I've heard Jessica Alba and Michelle Phiefer complain about how hard it is to be beautiful in Hollywood. Personally, I think both are too stuck on themselves and there are far more beautiful actresses out there who still manage to get parts. It's a lot easier to make a beautiful person ugly for the camera but it's not as easy to make an average looking girl beautiful.
austerity austerity 9 years
Sorry, that doesn't apply to me. If I were a biatch, I wouldn't be having the friends and fun I have. I'm always the first to say 'hiiii, how ya doing' and I can't help it if I get a 'hmph' in return. I talk to everybody because I believe life is too short to be shallow or arrogant. I also easily acknowledge someone who is prettier or more stylish than me; I believe I can learn from these ladies. Sure I'll have a 'damn, she's prettier than me!' initially but that's not going to affect my behavior towards them if they are nice people. But I'm not going to apologize for being aware of having great looks and figure and sexiness myself. It's easier to post about it on a forum, I wouldn't say all of this stuff out loud.
shopper90210 shopper90210 9 years
Its funny how quick people posted about how "beautiful" they were and how hard it is. Maybe 5% of the population is attractive so I doubt all of you "hot blondes" are really so. People probably dont like you bc you have a bad attitude and are a snob. Not because you are "beautiful".
austerity austerity 9 years
Oh and in the article: I don't understand the logic of how men don't ask you out if you're beautiful. Of course they do, more so. Damn, is Carolynn Thelemaque supposed to be extremely good-looking? Nothing special imho :P but looks good for her age
austerity austerity 9 years
The worst thing about it is that a lot of girls decide to hate you on sight. You enter a room, you get the up-and-down and the green look, and can expect no friendship. You know where you're at when good-looking girls and guys DON'T give you that kind of behavior. Worst story for me was when had a roommate who made my life HELL after giving me the up-and-down. I can safely say I did everything to be nice to her from the start. But yeah, she wasn't much to look at and trying to lose weight. I put two and two together and stopped trying after a while. Thank God I'm no longer in that house. Moreover if you're naturally beautiful (rather than attractive through very good grooming), girls hate you more. Second-worst problem: People think that because you're beautiful, you must be either dumb, arrogant, or both. If you look good, your you simply cannot be having a 3.8 GPA; you must be cheating your way up. And oh! you could never be good at math. How ignorant to stereotype like this. I think people should stop stereotyping and be open to the fact that someone can be beautiful and smart too, without losing their head in jealousy. I think there's a 'range' where beauty is more of a perk and after a certain level it gets more problematic. On the whole though, the benefits are obvious and I'd still pick beauty over average looks :P .
itsallabouttheg itsallabouttheg 9 years
i agree with carhornsinapril.
Retro-Bunny Retro-Bunny 9 years
RollingRed: Well said! As I was reading the article Bella used as an example/inspiration, I realized the same thing. A) Who says that this woman is all that gorgeous? Who says that anyone who proclaims themselves gorgeous is really that? B) Good social skills aren't natural. Everyone will have some problems socializing. Some people are considered too out-going, or too reserved, when really, they're just covering up for their own insecurities. I don't think anyone has EVERYONE that likes them. Sorry for the banter. I think summer vacation has taking a toll on my brain. ;D
RollingRed RollingRed 9 years
You know, if you meet a lot of people, and all of them seem to think you are stuck up and snobby, then it's probably a) you have a tendency to hang out with only catty people or b) it's really you. Take for example, Ms. Dianna Chung at the beginning of the article. You know/feel/think that people ignore you because you are beautiful, so what do you do? You put on a stern serious librarian attitude and "command" people to listen? Seriously now, how is that going to improve anything? It only confirms people's perception that you are bossy, arrogant and entitled, because you are treating them that way right now. If anything one should as ckeller825 and others said, put on a warm smile and take note of your body langugage. It sends the message that you are actually friendly. Speaking eloquently and elegantly (without being pedantic and condescending) will also clear up the stereotype of being stupid. I'm not saying there aren't people who DO take comfort in looking down on the beautiful. You can't do much about those except ignoring that pettiness. But I've also hung out with some self-proclaimed "hotties/beauties/hunks/babes/what-have-yous" who constantly complain to me about how other guys and girls are jealous of them and what not. When I suggest to them to act warmer and friendlier, some of them act disgusted and say something like "why should I cater to other people when it's really their problem of being insecure". To those folks I'd like to say: Get over yourself. You think you are the only one who has to exert effort to make friends and conversations? This is called socializing. It's like how "uglies" have to sometimes strive to be funny, interesting and "have a great personality", to assure others they are not a) talking to you because they must be eager and desperate for your company, b) a social outcast and/or c) having lots of hang ups about being unfortunate looking. The uber smart and utter idiots, the rich and the poor, the city dwellers and the country folks, we all have our own stereotypes and our own perks and pain. We all have to work in order to prove ourselves worthy of others' friendships and company. If you think people are going to stick around and learn about the "real you" before you assure them you are worth sticking around in the first place, you probably actually do need to get over yourself.
carhornsinapril carhornsinapril 9 years
i think for people who are self-conscious, it sucks to stick out, whether you think you're plain, gorgeous, or somewhere in between. that's my take on it.
tkmn tkmn 9 years
For the majority of people who complain that beauty is a burden, I think it has more to do with their personality, personal care and mannerisms than it does with anything that they were given at birth. I don't think someone who actually feels up to complaining about how beautiful they think they are is a particularly modest or humble person. Secondly, people respond to the way you dress and take care of yourself. If you have full makeup daily, people are going to assume that you're high maintenance. If you dress provocatively, people aren't going to assume that you're here to work. However, regardless of what people think of you just from sight, they can easily be swayed by your behavior. If people don't treat you seriously, you should evaluate the way you act before anything else.
chiquita29 chiquita29 9 years
I know how it feels both ways. I was such an ugly duckling growing up. In Jr. High I was made fun of regarding my chest size, braces, glasses and the hair on my arms. I'm light skinned when I don't self tan and I have dark hair. Fast forward and this is what attracted my husband to me (besides my sparkling personality of course!), he loves my light skin and dark hair. Anyway, i'm very shy so a lot of people get the wrong impression that i'm stuck up or whatever. So then i'm overly nice and people think they can treat me like dirt. I also constantly get dirty looks from girls everywhere, like when I pick up my dry cleaning or go through a drive through. You know what look I mean, I smile and they just look me up and down, then look away w/an attitude. I still think it hurts way more not being attractive so i'm not complaining. I just need to remind myself not to let mean girls bother me and just ignore 'em!
Home Home 9 years
Good looks only cause pain when you engage in a playful wet t-shirt contest with your buds and you're using gasoline instead of water.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
What one person finds beautiful isn't what everyone else thinks...remember that.
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