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Do You Change Your Look For Family Visits?

Although I haven't lived at home for many years now, I plan to see my family over the holidays. Nailing down final details on the phone with my mom today, she casually asked how I'd be wearing my hair when I got there, reminding me of a hairstyle that my father dislikes. It's not one I choose often, and I'm sure it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I arrived home like that. But, since it's Christmas and all, I saw nothing wrong with agreeing to this little thing.

On the one hand, I understand standing firm in a personal style choice but, on the other, I can see how old-fashioned relatives wouldn't want to see particular hair and makeup choices. It's just a couple days, and I wasn't planning it anyway, but would you change up a beauty routine to please family members you seldom see?


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Charblit Charblit 8 years
I too am now dying to know what this totally offensive hairstyle is! Most of the looks you feature are so classic...
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
No I don't change...I love shocking them!
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
For the holiday I don't show up in sweats but it's not because they would care its just that I like to look nice for special occasions. I don't change anything else.
CheapYetChic CheapYetChic 8 years
Hollow, I didn't mean to imply that you were self absorbed, and I tend to agree with your attitude about it. I just meant that when I was younger, I was unaware of family dynamics because I was self absorbed, and I might have said something like your initial comment. Now, I'm more willing to "pick my battles"... if it's one hairstyle, who cares? But if they couldn't accept your whole look, I agree, that's not a very accepting parent.
Jessiebanana Jessiebanana 8 years
I would never change for my family's tastes, that's ridiculous IMO. Anyone who loves me should accept me as-is.
hollowstar hollowstar 8 years
I'm not self-absorbed! But I do know I don't want to be surrounded by shallow people, family or not. Luckily my parents and siblings are open minded. I wouldn't actually cut them out of my life if they didn't like my hair, but I will say that the family members who used to give me flack for my style as a teen are the ones I visit the least now as an adult. Clothing, hair, style, it's all an example of them only accepting you if you are a certain way, and I think that's bad parenting.
CheapYetChic CheapYetChic 8 years
Hollow's comment reminds me of how blissfully unaware I was of family dynamics when I was younger and more self-absorbed. My family is very important to me, and so are my in-laws, although I often disagree with them both. I would probably just tell my mom on the phone that I thought my dad's request was inappropriate, but I would honor the request, because what hairstyle is so important that it's worth risking a disagreement on a family holiday?
arihm arihm 8 years
I only wear makeup when my grandmother comes to visit. I would rather wear makeup than have her harping on me for not wearing it.
glampop20 glampop20 8 years
I never wear anything too revealing around my family since that just makes me uncomfortable but I doubt they would ever ask me to change a hairstyle or something like that. They are pretty easygoing and understand that at times I can be a little "offbeat"
inertia inertia 8 years
I tone it down when I visit my parents. It's not that they're conservative or trying to cramp my style, just that we live in completely different environments. I live in Tokyo, where it's perfectly normal for young women to spend 2 hours on hair and makeup and put on miniskirts and stiletto heels just to go shopping in a department store. My parents live in upstate NY where everyone keeps it simple in jeans and sweatshirts. So when I'm there I go for a much more casual look and less makeup, so as not to embarrass them.
Liz-Elindel Liz-Elindel 8 years
My family is really conservative... it's HARD because I'm married and i I don't wear clothes that they "approve" of then it's WWIII. Crazy.
hollowstar hollowstar 8 years
Yeah right... Honestly, I think you are the weakest, most pathetic person if as an adult you would change to make family happy. If my parents judged me for my hair or makeup I would probably cut them out of my life - that's just stupid. Also, why the hell does your dad care how you wear your hair? I mean, maybe my *boyfriend* cares how my hair looks, but your dad... that's borderline creepy. Wearing something family gave you is different, as is dressing overtly sexy around family obviously.
Athena123987 Athena123987 8 years
If my parents just don't like it because it isn't their style, they can tough it out; it's not like I ever wear anything inappropriate. My mom has tried; she reaaaally wants me to get the thick, heavy bangs I had when I was a little girl, for example, and she is always telling me that women can't be smart and look girly (I was discouraged from wearing makeup till college, and then I discovered Sephora and heels :D.) However, for family dinners with, say, my 84 year old grandmother, I make more of an effort and dress up more than I would for events with just cousins my own age (ex. nice sweater vs. gap tee,) and I am willing to accept tips like "for family harmony's sake, please don't wear your Obama shirt around great-aunt Mildred."
Talldiva45 Talldiva45 8 years
No - I don't wear anything regularly that I couldn't wear around my family. If this did happen I wouldn't change for the day, I am ME and they would understand that.
a-million-suns a-million-suns 8 years
Of course I don't wear my sexier outfits around my family, but I would never cater to their tastes. I'm a bit stubborn.
AllaWallaBalla AllaWallaBalla 8 years
Would it be rude to inquire what the objectionable hairstyle is? The only thing that comes to mind is a bright pink mohawk but you don't strike me as that sort of lady, Bella.
emalove emalove 8 years
I always look nice, so I don't need to change anything for my family...not that I would, anyway.
cloroxcowgirl cloroxcowgirl 8 years
I dress conservatively and wear minimal makeup most of the time anyway, so it's never really and issue for me.
milkradio milkradio 8 years
My family has no room to complain about my style okay. I'm not a slob, but none of us like dressing up anyway, so I'll wear my everyday jeans anyway.
mtg mtg 8 years
I'm sorry, but someone has to say it: Your mom is a CONTROL FREAK!! If you dad had a problem with your hair, she should have left it to him to say something. What she's really doing is using him as an excuse to control the way you present yourself. Lame, if you ask me).
kaytwo44 kaytwo44 8 years
My family is so casual that it never occurred to me that other people might have to "tone it down" for relatives. WYSIWYG is the only way to go.:)
doogirl doogirl 8 years
I have a very casual hairstyle, it's normally in a ponytail because I have two young kids. I do try to wear pink when I see one of my Grandmas because she always compliments me when I wear it. For my other Grandma, I make sure to wear her diamond engagement ring that she gave me, and I try to not go too heavy on the make up because she has made comments to me in the past. Also, I don't wear dark nail polish around that Grandma because she doesn't care for it.
bailaoragaditana bailaoragaditana 8 years
My grandmother gets very offended if my sister, my mother, and I wear any sort of jewelry, particularly earrings, because they're against her religion. So I don't accessorize when we go to visit her, because really, who wants an hour-long lecture about their personal damnation due to vanity? (Not me.) But I do refuse to take off my Claddagh ring - it's simple, silver, and barely noticeable. Beyond that, I guess it would depend on the circumstances. Fortunately, my family don't really have fashion guidelines :-p
SillyGirl SillyGirl 8 years
For them I dont change anything. Although if we are seeing their friends I make a point just to make sure my tats arent noticeable and I am not wearing anything wild. I have made it clear long ago that I dont change for them - once they accepted that, I actually starting growing more conservative myself. But when out with their friends, my hubby and I try to make it look like we are the pinnacle of perfection. Since my family accepts us no matter what, its the least we could do for them. And its easy for us to hide the wild side since we both have to do it for our careers to an extent.
misskacie misskacie 8 years
I always get dressed up-- but it's for me, not for them. It helps holidays feel special. I also include *one* rebellious touch-- a few extra earrings, a statement hairstyle or scandalous footwear. They expect no less of me!
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