Let's say, hypothetically, that you're a hypochondriac who lives in fear of nail fungus. And hypothetically, you thought you might have it, so you feverishly sought out home remedies. But as it turned out, you didn't have fungus, but one of the cures made your toenails look healthier and more foot-modelesque. Hypothetically, you'd be a genius of cosmetic podiatry.
As it turns out, the cloud of my hypochondria has a silver lining. One folk cure for nail fungus involves cleaning your feet, then slathering your toes with Vicks VapoRub ($4.99) and slipping on socks overnight. I can't attest to whether it works for nail fungus, but it did make my toenails look shinier and whiter after just a few nights. The drawback: With the scent of the ointment wafting from your sock-covered feet, you will feel about as sexy as Tucker Carlson hot-rodding in an AMC Gremlin — which, incidentally, is a hypothetical scene I'd pay good money to see in real life.