Sometimes — when I have — had — a little too much — to DRINK — I pull out my — William Shatner impression. It's always a hit, and you know why? Because anything featuring Bill Shatner is funny. Even the word Shatner is funny. So it's no wonder that I'm getting a kick out of the forthcoming Star Trek fragrance collection. Surprisingly enough, the licensed scents aren't a tie-in to May's Star Trek movie; they're a throwback to the original TV show.

Tiberius, a cologne for men, is inspired by the Cap'n Kirk of the Mirror Universe. And Red Shirt is a fragrant homage to the tireless crew of the USS Enterprise. Pon Farr, a perfume, gets its name from a mating ritual in which frisky Vulcans go crazy in heat. (Not sure I'd want to smell like Spock when he's petting his tribble.) Trek Movie has pictures of the packaging, but you'll have to wait until spring to get your hands on the real deal. Until then, I'll continue to enjoy Shatner's singing, which you simply must experience. Do it up when you