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What Red Lipstick Means to Men (and Other Relationshippy Thoughts on Makeup)

For Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, love is all in a day's work. The married couple offers relationship advice on TV, through their books, and through their Dating Boot Camp. They say that we send romantic signals — or not-so-romantic ones — through our personal style. Read on for their opinions on what your hair and makeup choices might be saying this Valentine's Day.

On a first date, do you recommend lip gloss or lipstick — or neither?
We definitely recommend lipstick, especially Le Metier de Beaute's Colour Core Moisture Stain Lipstick in shades Castello, Paris, and Cannes. Men are drawn to a woman’s mouth, not only because this is where their fantasies start, but hopefully they will also be listening to what the woman has to say. Ever since Angelina Jolie came on the scene, lips have received the lip service they deserve. It sends the signals that you are a true woman, proud of your femininity and confident, especially when a woman wears bright, vibrant colors like red.

Want to know what red lipstick says about you? Just


Can you talk about what messages red lipstick projects?
Red lipstick will definitely make you a man magnet! Lips make all of us think of kissing and since men are such visual creatures, sexy red lips can almost do as much for a man as the kiss itself. It also subconsciously sends the message that you are open to a romantic and passionate relationship.

Any thoughts on makeup choices/signals for women who date women?
Makeup choices can be very much the same, as long the woman is comfortable with it. No matter the sexual preference.

In your work and research, what discoveries regarding beauty/makeup/hair have surprised you with regard to relationships?
With regard to relationships, men love long hair, but not the traditional perfectly coiffed hair so many try to have. Men actually love the tousled, rolled-out-of-bed look, and it’s no wonder that’s the way you look after a long sexy night. Men can’t identify the components of makeup that create the lips that they want to kiss, bite, and touch, they just are drawn to them. The more naturally glamorous a woman can look, the more sensual she becomes to the male eye.

Do you find their observations line up with your experience? (For what it's worth, I definitely get more looks when I wear red lipstick.)

Join The Conversation
Symphonee Symphonee 8 years
I don't do lipstick so I can't compare myself in this. My boyfriend has always said that he liked my lips when I wear a nice, not to shiny gloss or nothing at all. I am not the biggest fan of red lips myself. The hair thing I can see but I haven't had tousl-able(??) hair since 2007 when I used to perm.
amelioratelj amelioratelj 8 years
Ultimately, I wear what I want for my benefit, but my husband refuses to kiss me if I am wearing lip gloss or lipstick.
em1282 em1282 8 years
I love a red lip when it's done right, and a nice berry/red stained lip is beautiful too. My bf likes whatever I wear, and I wear what I want for myself too :)
peptor85 peptor85 8 years
I don't think their opinion is true at all. While some men may love red or bold lipstick on a woman, many others prefer sheer, glossy or nude lips instead. I don't think you need a bold lipcolor to make your lips look feminine or attractive. Most guys I know dislike bold color on a woman; it tends to discourage them from kissing because as others pointed out it gets messy. Bold color is definitely noticeable and eye-catching, but I don't subscribe to the theory that red lips are for everyone. I only wear it to costume-y events, not for normal going out or dates.
sleepypie sleepypie 8 years
What they said seems to make sense, but in my own experience the exact opposite has been true. Red, & other bright colours, was considered clownish & unflattering, & long hair was uninteresting & overly common.
tatsauce tatsauce 8 years
I love red lips but my boyfriend doesn't like them. I save them for special events when we probably won't be doing much kissing during the night because it gets all over the place!
pharm_chick pharm_chick 8 years
im with michelin.. my hubby hates red lipstick on me. he prefers gloss or a natural lipcolor..
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
I hate hate hate wearing lipstick on a date... who really wants to kiss someone and get red lipstick all over the place? I don't care what they say lip stick does not stay placed no matter how much it costs. Plus usually on dates there is food and drinks involved and I hate leaving that lip residue behind...Uck! So I say wear a nice lip balm or a flavored gloss so after the kissing is done the evidence is gone.
rachelbojangles rachelbojangles 8 years
I would never wear red lipstick. On a fist date I usually put on a balm or a sheer pink gloss.
emalove emalove 8 years
I'm not a red lipstick girl...I like my pink and nude shades best.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 8 years
That's true about the hair. I never got any compliments from guys until I started wearing my hair down and naturally wavy
jlynn818 jlynn818 8 years
I'm not a fan of red lipstick on myself, but my best friend wears it when she goes out with her boyfriend and I guess he likes it, because she does whatever he likes. I definitely agree with the hair part though. I have very straight hair and never feel like styling it otherwise. On occasion I'll curl it in the mornings but after two hours the curls fall out into crazy waves, and guys including but not limited to my boyfriend always say my hair looks good then. My question is why can't they find ponytails sexy? :P haha
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I love a great red lip. :)
HaterTot HaterTot 8 years
I've never dated any guy who liked red lipstick. No matter what crappy chick flicks and bad Cosmo photo spreads tell us, guys don't want to end up wearing your lipstick after you kiss them. They also don't like nasty, sticky gloss. I love makeup and think it's fun, but these are pretty hard and fast, common sense rules.
macgirl macgirl 8 years
I agree with the hair thing. As far as the lipstick thing goes that doesn't work in my relationship. When I wear lipstick my husband takes it as a sign that I'm not kissable.
JessNess JessNess 8 years
hmmm well if what they say is true then my red lipstick with wavy hair that I will be sporting this Friday at a party should land me a guy. If not Im coming back and complaining :D
Francoisehardly Francoisehardly 8 years
I wear red lipstick just because I like it and I wear it for myself. Plus part of the appeal for me is that it makes me think of Old Hollywood. And I think these "why guys or girls prefer" listings are broad generalizations. Not everyone finds the same things appealing.
Michelann Michelann 8 years
I always hear that red lipstick is supposed to be super sexy, but my boyfriend says it looks clownish. And I've heard other men say it looks overdone and sometimes a little crazy. To each his own, I guess.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 8 years
I find that their "advice" stems from mainstream western notions of what men want. They did not ask men across all cultures and societies.
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