17 Reasons I Am an Eternal Slave to My Long Hair

POPSUGAR Photography | Kat Borchart
POPSUGAR Photography | Kat Borchart

You all know the hashtag #LongHairDontCare. Well, for me, the saying is so much more than a fun rhyme to say and tweet — it's a life motto. There was a time in my life when my mane was just another thing to experiment with, as inconsequential as painting your toenails a different color every week. However, as I grew older, it became startlingly clear that my hair is not a plaything, but more like another limb — as consequential as trimming your arm for a "new look"!

I've generally had long hair throughout my whole life. There were a few periods here and there when I decided to switch it up, fleeting moments of curiosity that were immediately followed by deep regret. My senior year of high school — a very important year in one's life — I cut it so short that my shoulders would get breezy. Believe me, that was the least of my agony. The worst was feeling like a human mushroom for at least four months of my life.

Then there was that time during my punk phase when I tried out the rock 'n' roll mullet. Hey, Scarlett Johansson made the same mistake once, so I'm in good company. And just like any momentous life lesson, a mullet taught me to never go down that road ever again.

But then, just two years ago, I did it again. I felt the urge to subject myself to that rotating chair and have some grown man with better eyebrows than me chop it off. This time, it was only a few inches, and afterward, my length was still technically considered medium-long, but I still felt that excruciating pang of regret, and that's when it was solidified. I have to have long hair. And I mean a mermaid mane that goes way past my chest, Miley Cyrus's look from her "Party in the U.S.A" days.

I don't care if it's 104 degrees and humid out. I don't care that my strands regularly get caught on things — dress zippers, random cracks in the wall, underneath my purse straps. I don't care that it takes an inordinate amount of time to dry. I don't care that having the same hairstyle is undeniably boring. I am a slave to my long locks, and I will do whatever it takes to make my master happy.

On the upside, having long hair has its benefits. Here are 17 reasons why I'll always live by #LongHairDontCare.

The Hair Flip Is Incredibly Fun to Do
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The Hair Flip Is Incredibly Fun to Do

Sometimes you feel like doing it every five seconds.

It Gives Your Lover Something to Run Their Fingers Through
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It Gives Your Lover Something to Run Their Fingers Through

That feels as good for you as it does for them.

It Warms Your Neck in the Wintertime
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It Warms Your Neck in the Wintertime

As agitating long hair is in the Summer, it is much appreciated in the Winter.

The More Hair You Have to Work With, the More Styles You Can Try
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The More Hair You Have to Work With, the More Styles You Can Try

And who doesn’t like experimenting with different styles?

Like Ponytails!
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Like Ponytails!

How much fun is it to whip your high ponytail around?

And Braids!
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And Braids!

And Bouffants!
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And Bouffants!

You wouldn't be able to channel Joan Holloway with short hair.

Two Words: Beach Waves
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Two Words: Beach Waves

The wind and salt can do wonders for your long hair.

It's the Reason Why Wind Was Created
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It's the Reason Why Wind Was Created

Seriously, what else is wind good for?

You Can Channel Cindy Crawford Circa 1992
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You Can Channel Cindy Crawford Circa 1992

Because she kind of set the benchmark for sexy.

You Can Whip Your Hair Back and Forth
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You Can Whip Your Hair Back and Forth

And whip off those haters while you're at it.

Playing With Your Hair in General Is Fun
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Playing With Your Hair in General Is Fun

When you're bored, you can always play with your long hair.

When You’re Having an Insecure Day, You Can Hide Behind Your Hair
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When You’re Having an Insecure Day, You Can Hide Behind Your Hair

It's like armor.

Two More Words: Brigitte Bardot
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Two More Words: Brigitte Bardot

I wish my bed head looked like this.

The Bigger the Hair, the Closer You Are to Heaven
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The Bigger the Hair, the Closer You Are to Heaven

Just ask Dolly Parton.

It's Just Damn Sexy
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It's Just Damn Sexy

Enough said.