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Is Bad Credit a Dealbreaker in Serious Relationships?

Once you learn to love the little things about your guy, there are bigger issues that naturally surface, as your relationship gets more serious. You've seen him handle money from the first date night out, but you never get a glimpse of how he really handles money until further down the road.

Brette McWhorter Sember, author of The Complete Credit Repair Kit knows several couples that didn't tie the knot because of one partner's atrocious credit score. It's important to be on the same financial page in terms of goals and a sense of well-being, but hopefully it's possible to postpone a wedding until both parties' finances are in order instead of calling it off altogether.

Would someone's bad credit scare you away from being his wife?


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nyxmoxie nyxmoxie 7 years
I think it depends. Some people get themselves in trouble and then learn from it, some people NEVER learn. If you see that someone doesn't do anything to learn from their troubles and doesn't do anything to improve their situation then its best to leave the relationship.
rtofctr rtofctr 8 years
A credit score is nothing more than a debt score. The higher your debt, the higher your score. The bottom line is if you have to use someone else's money to buy it, you can't afford it! With the exception of a maximum 15 year mortgage, if you have to borrow the money to buy it, you are living a lie.
phatE phatE 8 years
Zabrow - to piggy back everyone else, I had 3 major financial issues (car, health, and then car again) within a month that completely screwed me over.. I had savings, but that doesn't cover thousands of dollars for most people in their early 20's.. Now, I don't have bad credit, I am still considered in the good range, but I have a few thousand dollars in debt, and I am not really able to pay it down b/c of my living expences (rent, bills,etc). So, I am idling until I get something cheaper, and a higher paying job. Thankfully this is happening as we speak, but all of that to say I am a talented, smart, educated girl and had some crappy circumstances come up that knocked me over. Another situation I know of is a family friend of ours whose husband passed away and left a huge financial burden on her that she couldn't handle. She has an excellent job, and picked up private practice in the evenings (for counseling) and still couldn't keep afloat, so she had to file for bankrupcy.. Another girl I know went through a huge loss in her life and emotionally went over the edge and started compulsively shopping.. She of course made that decsion, but it was also realted to something really tramatic, and that's how she coped.. Things happen that are out of our hands, not everything can be prevented by an "emergency fund" I think people need to realize there are ridiculous people out there making stupid choices, but for the most part people really are trying, and either have had some unexpected things thrown at them, or were immature for awhile and are now trying to make up for it.. If you judge them because of their credit, you may miss out on an amazing relationship.
lexichloe lexichloe 8 years
If you truly love the person, you can find a way to forgive the bad credit, and hence fix the problem together.
girlwparasol girlwparasol 8 years
it depends on how it happens, i'd say. of course, right now my fella has spotless credit and mine is in shambles because of a mistake with my student loan that i'm currently fighting (long story, but it has to do with them sending me a letter saying it'd be deferred another year as long as i remained at least a part-time student, and they, of course, then denying that and saying i'm missing 8+ months of payments!) it's more frustrating for me than him, though. i feel a lot of pressure not only to get this all cleared up, but because anything we do together that requires a credit check, has to be put in his name right now.
radmama27 radmama27 8 years
I guess I should say it depends, because sometimes it happens. A friend of mine had a bunch of bad luck with medical bills and health insurance. That is probably something I would oversee. But I would ideally prefer someone who is like me, pay all bills on time, not a lot of loans, credit cards, etc..
hippiecowgirl hippiecowgirl 8 years
Oops. Hit "post" too soon. I think, regardless of the situation, that it's very important to talk about money before getting married. I've seen too many people avoid the subject as a way to avoid conflict. It's going to be an issue sooner or later.
hippiecowgirl hippiecowgirl 8 years
I think circumstances would be a factor. I think it would be a deal breaker if someone had bad credit continued to make horrible money decisions. My husband and I both have good credit, but he's not very good at tracking funds. His idea of balancing the checkbook is calling the bank for a balance. We agreed shortly after the engagement ring that I would be the one handling the finances.
meepish meepish 8 years
I knew my husband has money problems before we were married, but I didn't realise just how bad. We've been married 2 years now and things have gotten progressively worse due. It shouldn't be a deal breaker, but I'd always suggest getting things under control before taking a relationship further.
karen7782 karen7782 8 years
I had health issues during a period when I didn't have insurance or a job, and I'm still trying to fix my credit from those problems. It can definitely happen through bad luck.
Knight-Who-Says-Ni Knight-Who-Says-Ni 8 years
Zabrow, to go even further, my SO got into some debt because he had to go to the hospital emergency room sans medical insurance. The bills were pretty huge and he got behind on his credit card payments. Nothing he couldn't work his way out of, and the best part is that his credit score is now only a few points less than mine (which is really good). Your credit can definitely recover if given a little time. That kind of thing is not a dealbreaker. If an SO has bad habits that keep him in the cycle of debt and he has no plans to change, then yes, THAT's a dealbreaker.
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
zabrow - I have a high deductable insurance plan. If I'm injured, I have to front $3k before my insurance kicks in at all. I have to tell you, I'm 23, and I do not have that kind of savings at the moment. Nor do I have a credit card. So all of the sudden, I'll have a huge lump of debt. THAT is how bad luck can totally screw your credit.
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
To piggy back on Savvy, also if you are laid off and then you have other emergencies that unemployment and/or your EF does not cover. What if you do not get a job within the six months time and your unemployment runs out, sometimes you can't always find a job and if you get a job paying less than 10/hour you can't pay all your bills, maybe just rent.
Smart-Living Smart-Living 8 years
zabrow- Unlucky instances like car accidents and health issues are circumstances that could get someone into financial trouble. Even if they have some savings it isn't always enough to cover big, unexpected expenses.
lizs lizs 8 years
My fiance went through a spendy phase when he was in school - he totally cracked down before he met me, and has tightened his spending even more because of our future plans. I'm not really in love with his remaining debt, but I do love the way he's kept paying it down - he'll be done in three months.
zabrow zabrow 8 years
i'm kind of torn on this one. & i'm curious to know how someone has bad luck that leads them into bad credit? not saying it can't happen, but what would the circumstances be that are beyond your control that would negatively effect your credit?
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
it really depends. my fiance doesn't have the best credit and it's really a bit frustrating for me since i have to make sure that mine is in good shape since i know that we'll want to buy a house soon. ugh...i wish that he were in better shape but when he was younger, he just spent more than he made and now that he's grown up a bit, he doens't do that but he's still paying for his actions.
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