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Commuter Marriages

Your Two Cents: Could You Be a Commuter Couple?

When I asked about the length of your commute last month the majority of you said your commute was about a half hour which I think is totally manageable. But what if your husband had to work several hours away, Monday through Friday? A 2006 U.S. Census Bureau survey says that 3.2 million married Americans (including military families) live in different homes. Some two-income households accept the commute if one would otherwise lose their job, and that way neither person has to sacrifice a successful career.


Join The Conversation
geohiker geohiker 9 years
We did this for three years while I worked on my doctorate in another state and traveled back and forth when possible. It was not perfect, but was okay overall. We both got Vonage and talked on the phone to each other at least twice a day, which helped. And, it was nice to have some time to myself and just focus on what I needed to do for school!
Marci Marci 9 years
We could do it but we sure wouldn't like it. And I'm not sure how long we'd put up with that schedule. I think we'd find different jobs in order to have more time together.
sashak sashak 9 years
I don't know if I could do it, I mean I would if I had too. My parents have been doing this for years. My dad works in in a city 200 miles away & he drives up on Monday morning & comes home on Friday afternoon (generally) He rents a room from one of his friends up there. They have to do it becuase their careers are really specific & they have to work
gigill gigill 9 years
I think I would have to try it out to see how it would work. Somehow , though, I don't think I'd like it.
komler komler 9 years
I think that it would depend on the positions and where we would be life-style-wise. I can work almost anywhere now, or straight after grad school, but in the future I might have more issues with living in one place.
CoconutPie CoconutPie 9 years
Never. Having careers is not a part of our priorities.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
I don't work, so he'd have to be the commuter. He has had to go to conventions and presentations in the past--gone for up to a week-- and I enjoy it because I stay in a fancy hotel like a mini vacation. :) And BOY do we miss each other that week!! Last time, he texted me every 5 minutes, even after he got into the cab at the airport. "I'm about 10 minutes away. I can't wait to see you." "5 minutes, so excited!!!" :)
katie_c katie_c 9 years
it would be really difficult...but could make the nights we're together even better than they already are.
bethany21 bethany21 9 years
Quite frankly, right now I wish we were a commuter couple! I'm in grad school, which is incredibly time-intensive. It's very difficult to get anything done once my husband gets home from the extent that sometimes I really wish he wasn't there! We end up spending the most time together on the weekends anyway, so the only difference it would make for me would be a more productive week. I think he would be sad, though.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I've seen it work for some people but I couldn't do it.
sparklemeetspop sparklemeetspop 9 years
We spent two years of dating long distance--no thanks!
emalove emalove 9 years
Not the ideal situation at all, but we could probably make it work if we had to. I'd hate it though! And if we had children, forget it.
hausfrau hausfrau 9 years
Sometimes a little distance isn't bad for a relationship. Some of the happiest marriages I know are when one spouse is away for work often! Look at Ina and Jeffrey! haha!
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 9 years
Yes I could, unless I had young children. I would also need to know that we would definitely see each other on certain days/nights, etc.
KansasNutmeg KansasNutmeg 9 years
My parents are in this relationship! It works very well for both of them as they are both professionals at the top of their industry, which makes it hard for them to move. It allows them to work hard during the week. It annoys me though when people ask when they were divorced, because the continue to have an excellent marriage.
megmarmor megmarmor 9 years
I already have this kind of relationship. My boyfriend is a consultant and works 600 miles away Monday through Thursday three weeks a month. But we get the weekends, we talk online constantly, and he works from home the last week of the month. It's nice that I get to keep my independence and still be in a relationship.
i-heart-monster i-heart-monster 9 years
See - I would just move closer to his job. I can get a job anywhere and our relationship is way more important than my career or money. I love my hubbie way too much to see him on the weekends only! If moving closer was not an option, I would be sad and I would miss him, but I would agree to a commuter situation and encourage him to get a different job.
steen steen 9 years
I want to be noble and say I'd put up with it for his job --- but I know I'd have a hard time. We're very close and like being able to see each other every day. I guess it would depend on the situation.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I pretty much am already. Evey Tuesday and Thursday I drive 2 hours away for work and sometimes I do have to stay overnight. And my boyfriend works nights a lot too. So I usually go to bed alone. We both make decent money though, and we have the whole weekends dedicated to US so i think it's ok :)
ALSW ALSW 9 years
My husband and I talked about this and we both agreed that it simply wouldn't work for us. I like seeing him everyday and I'd miss the little things like cooking dinner together or snuggling on the couch if we lived apart. Those things are more important than money for us.
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