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Dear Poll: Do you Feel Like you Need a Wife?

Now that two-income families are the norm, the chores and odd jobs that used to get done during the week by a stay at home mom are neglected, leaving many wives, according to an article in The New York Times, asking for a wife of their own, aka a personal assistant. Joyce Lustbader, a research scientist at Columbia University who has been married for 29 years, was quoted saying, "I work all day, sometimes seven days a week, and still have to go home and make dinner and have all those things to do around the house." I can say with certainty that she is not alone in feeling like there are just not enough hours in a day to get everything done.

While some people can hire a nanny and a housekeeper, others can afford it or simply don't feel like someone else can do "their job" the right way. So while everyone has busy days, busy seasons, even busy years, would you want a wife so to speak? And if so, how badly do you need the extra help?


Join The Conversation
whatwouldruthdo whatwouldruthdo 9 years
Since when is "wife" synonymous with "personal assistant"? I find this pretty darned insulting. I'm married, and I'm certainly not my husband's personal assistant. I'm happy to help him out with things, but he does the same for me. Is this the 1950s again or something? And here I thought the year was 2007.
mallomar mallomar 9 years
I think cgmaetc makes some great points- if you look at men in the business world, legal world etc... none of them are worrying about cooking and cleaning and all of the little things that take up so much time every day. And perhaps instead of getting bitter about it and trying to kill ourselves doing all of these extra things on top of our careers etc... we ladies need to get real about what we can and cannot do in one day and where we want to spend our energies. For some of us that might mean hiring a housekeeper etc..., for those of us still climbing up the ladder it means insisting that husbands carry their half of the household load. Those women out there who allow their husbands to get away without contributing anything to the daily chores makes me sad. C'mon ladies stand up for yourselves!
JustMe21 JustMe21 9 years
I do all the work...dusting, vaccuming, sweeping, laundry, gets old. His only "chore" is to take out the trash and he forgets half the time unless I remind him, which I consider to be another task on my list.
jkat jkat 9 years
I find this pretty offensive that having a personal assistant is being called having a "wife." I get that it is supposed to be clever and funny, but it rubs me the wrong way. As if being a wife is primarily about your contribution of chores to a family. Ick.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
Not in general, no. Our household is very evenly divided and we both do what needs to be done. The bulk doesn't fall to either one of us unless there's special circumstances like illness. Now someone to do things like wait for the cable guy or bring the car in for repairs so neither one of us have to take a day off work? That Id' take.
lala788 lala788 9 years
i hate hate hate to do the laundry, so if I'll hire someone it will be only for that.
pk9000 pk9000 9 years
I'm with facin8me....when did being a wife become synonymous with housekeeper/personal assistant?
MiyabiNa MiyabiNa 9 years
I only need one sometimes....esp for chores like grocery shopping n'stuff..I hate it =P but cleaning and laundry, I'll do myself. I actually like's kinda relaxing when I'm by myself.
Marci Marci 9 years
One part-time wife, please. When everyone is working their butts off all week, dealing with all the cleaning and errands, etc. on the weekends is exhausting, not to mention kills our play time together. I'll take all the help I can get, thank you.
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 9 years
I would hope that my husband might be able to pick up some of the slack...
nessabum nessabum 9 years
i chose the fourth choice. i'm really picky about how things are done and the only person i'd be willing to forgive if things aren't done perfectly is my bf. i'm very much a perfectionist but even though there are a lot of things to be done, sometimes, it's just better to do it yourself.
c0rkie c0rkie 9 years
i posted this article too! awesome! :D i wonder if i would need a wife when i become a wife... i'll keep you post in the future ;)
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
before i got married and had kids ai read a study that said that even when women worked full time and even if they were the major income earner they were still the one that took the children to the doctor, dentist, took care of school assignments, practice schedules, etc. so i decided that i would be a stay at home mom. when we had our children and one was disabled that meant that to keep things running smoothly we had to hire another adult to help get kids to and from activites, my disabled daughter to therapies and services, etc. as good as it sounds, it's not ideal to have another person around ALL THE TIME. actually it's an intrusion. the people we have had have been wonderful and they have loved my children like their own but it would have been nice to do it in the traditional way; just our family.
cgmaetc cgmaetc 9 years
There is one thing that all sucessful male exectuives have in common, and it's a wife! Whomever instilled this "SuperWoman" complex into today's woman was mad. It is insanity for us to think they could have an executive career, fulfill their partners sexual needs, be there 100% for her children, keep the house spotless, cook dinner every night, support your partner's dreams and desires, be charming at parties, be a part of a book club, and sometimes even care for ailing/aging parents. I think this is why so many women are so screwed up. We are trying to accomplish the impossible. Men don't do it all! Why should we? If you are one of those ladies, I applaud you, but she ain't me! Even my mom -who juggled a career, a hubby, and kids- had help: her parents moved in with us in their senior years and they were more than willing to pitch-in and baby-sit, do light chores, and even cook from time to time (my grandpa was a chef). And if you think about it back in the day, MOST women had some help in one form or another: if you even had to do chores, it's was because your momma was to dang tired to do it for you! ;-) Personally, I run two successful (and still growing!) businesses. I have an assistant for each business 'cuz I have ADD. I have a housekeeper who comes 2x per week 'cuz my grandmother cleaned toilets so I wouldn't have to. I have a personal shopper who picks out my wardrobe because I hate shopping and have no sense of style. I can't wait until I can find a personal chef and a driver. In the meantime there's Dream Dinners and thank God for my iPod or I'd go insane from sitting in traffic. I know I am going to be a great wife because I have all my systems in place NOW. If after a long day at the office, I walked in to my spotless house with dinner on the table, the messages checked, the laundry folded, the dog fed, and the bills paid, tomorrow's lunches packed...hell... I'd be free to devote ALL of my energy to my hubby and my children, to give 100% to helping them with homework and science projects or with their ballet moves or football plays. Considering the #1 complaint men have about their marriages is not enough sex, I'll also have to energy to please my man at night. And who doesn't want that? ;-) Remember ladies: We can have it all, but we don't have to do it all!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I work with all men, and they are all married. Their wives all stay at home and take care of all the chores, the kids etc. More than once I have said to my co-workers, I want a stay-at-home wife too! I suppose I just use that term wife instead of maid because I'm comparing it to their situations. But I agree, comparing wife to maid isn't a great sign :(
arrhythmia arrhythmia 9 years
my boyfriend cleans everything (dishes, floors, carpets, laundry, etc.) while i cook :)
facin8me facin8me 9 years
I like how the NYT article equates being a wife with being a maid. I also like how instead of holding men accountable for their equal share of housework and chores, women are left to dream of having a "wife" to cook and clean. According to the article, one in five men does some kind of housework in a day- for women, it's over half. Why do we tolerate this?
staceyleeroberts staceyleeroberts 9 years
Someone to pick-up the dry cleaning, wait for the phone, cable, or repair company, take back items and waiting in customer service lines, taking the car for oil change, etc. It's so unfair when male co-workers never have to worry about running out to get hose or picking up a certified letter because they have stay-at-home wives. I always tell them how much I want a wife! But then again, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan . . . . . . .
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