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Dear Poll: Would You Go on a Second Date If...

We all have different opinions on who should pay on the first date — I happen to feel strongly that the man should, but I am very old fashioned when it comes to dating etiquette. If you have the same mentality as I do, what would you do if this scenario happened to you:

You're on a pretty decent first date that he initiated, but when the bill comes, he asks you to go dutch. Of course you oblige — you don't really have a choice in the matter now do you? — but what if he asks you out for a second date? Would you go? Or would you be so turned off that he didn't pay that you'd rather simply high five it and politely decline?

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melda melda 9 years
no i wouldnt
designergirl designergirl 9 years
I thnk it really depends on the guy and what you know about him. If it seems he's only wanting to yout o pay because he's cheap, then no second date.
zc zc 9 years
yes i would go out again if i liked him, i have no problem paying may way-im not out for a sugar daddy
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
IMO, the girl should be the one to offer to split if she wants to. Generally the person who asks someone on a date implies that they will pay, especially in the beginning. The bf and I split everything now except for birthdays and anniversaries.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
Nope. If he invited me on a date, not just a dinner out together, he pays. The same would apply if I asked him on a date. Waiting until the bill comes to mention "Oh yeah, we're going dutch" is just tacky beyond words.
pinkflake2 pinkflake2 9 years
Definitely not! If he initiates the first date, and asks YOU out, HE should pay! If I asked a guy out, I would pay because it was ME who was asking!
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
haha, but he has said on many occassions that once he gets a real job, i am getting spoiled big time, so i can't wait! (oh, adn he paid for the first date haha)
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
my current boyf and i totally go dutch now. for one, i amke more money than him (way more) and he is still in school, but he won't allow me to pay for him, unless it is a special occassion, like, i took himout for his b-day or i splurge and we go to the movies and i pay befor ehe can stop me. he treats for special occassions in his eyes, and, when he wants to be romantic. since i know how little he makes, it totally makes it worth it.
onesong onesong 9 years
First and foremost - it's "wary," not "weary." I've seen a lot of this lately, and I'm pretty sure it's a mishmash of "wary" and "leery," either of which would work. Haha, English major attack, sorry DearSugar! That said, I picked no, but ONLY because he asked. If I asked, I would pay, plain and simple. If you're taking someone on a date, you're doing just that. You can't be sure that the place you've picked is even affordable to the person (even if you're in the same position at work...you never know what their debt looks like) and you should be able and willing to pay, the end. Now, once you're into a relationship, it makes sense (to me) to either take turns, or have the person who makes more pay more often. But that's after you've established all of that information that you need...so you know, for example, that if you want to go somewhere really fancy but your SO can't afford it, you can take him and insist that you pay.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
Im with Dear...NO WAY! My frist date ever, we went to Outback Steakhouse, I was 16...my date, 3 years older...he said he caled and asked if they took checks, but they didn't! I had to pay for both of your dinners! I was smitten though, and, i ended up paying for almost everything the whole time we dated. he was a money whore and turnedout cheating, lying scum. That is an indicator of character for me now haha. If they don't pay for the first date, it shows me they didn't plan ahead and put any thought at all into the date, which means, no thanks!
Pink81406 Pink81406 9 years
I have a boyfriend that ever since we've been together we pay together. We never split the bill, but sometimes I buy, and sometimes he buys. I think that is okay but never on the first date is it okay for the guy to ask you to pay for your own, especially when he asked you.
KiwiLu KiwiLu 9 years
or was that michelle? lol
KiwiLu KiwiLu 9 years
This actually happend to me!! different scenario though but i still had to pay...ugh turned me off completly. I dont always expect a guy to pay but on this ocassion it was different. as stephanie from full house would say "How rude!"
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
I say no- I am totally old fashioned too!
Bonne Bonne 9 years
Since he initiated - he pays. I might handle the tip, but a girl likes to be treated nicely...
SeptemberLights SeptemberLights 9 years
This happened to me! A guy i was 'friends w/ benefits' finally asked me out on an actual date. i turned him down 3 times cause i didn't think he was boyfriend material. finally i caved. when the check came it was only like 50$ and he wanted to split it. i was like 'um okay'. after that i never talked to him again.
laurarose520 laurarose520 9 years
No. If he asked me out then he should be prepared to pay. Then again I've never had to pay for a date, so being asked to is new territory for me.
vanyvrgs vanyvrgs 9 years
I am militant 50 -50 but during the first date if he asks and picks the restaurant he pays and if I ask and pick the restaurant I pay. Regardless I always offer to pay so I do not see anything wrong with paying. In fact, I find it a bit irrational that some of my friends who want equality and make the same of more than the men they are courting get bent out of shape when the man does not always pay. I don't get it.
summer-roberts summer-roberts 9 years
I am with fab4 and delia. I would take more into consideration though. If things clicked, then I would agree to a second date and make it around, say the first of the month when most people get paid.
eaker eaker 9 years
delia - thanks for pointing that out, it's been bugging me.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
Most likely no... but I wouldn't want to rule it out completely... I wouldn't mind going dutch if the first date was a casual date. But if it wasn't, I would mind lots.
JustMe21 JustMe21 9 years
I said no. If he asked me to go and he picked the place, I would think he would pay...especialy if it was a first date! That just means later on down the road I'll have to start paying for everything, and that just isn't going to happen ;-)
delia delia 9 years
I don't think the guy should always have to pay, but I DO think he should be upfront about it before hand. My husband and I met at a mutual friends party and at the end of the night he said, "I'd really like to see you again, but I don't have a lot of money right now." I really admired his ability to be frank with me and not try to pretend to be someone he's not. We met up, walked and talked for 3 hours, and it was the best first date of my life. Side note: In the poll above, shouldn't it be "wary" or "leery" instead of "weary?" Unless the guy has worn you out after one date! ;)
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
I think on a date the bill should be split. For him to expect me to also pay for his food is rude and I wouldn't let him, I would only put enough money down for half the bill. There would be no second date; he's cheap and I'm not going to be used.
fab4 fab4 9 years
I think its tacky and presumptuous for a guy to ask me out if he is not going to pay. Would you ask the guy to pay if you asked him out, kiddylnd?
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