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Dear Poll: Are You Embarrassed by Your Salary?

Women have fought for many years to break through the glass ceiling, but according to a recent article in the New York Times, the ones that have broken through are left feeling insecure about their success by some of the men they date.

According to census data taken in 2005 by Andrew Beveridge, a sociology professor at Queens College in New York, for the first time, women in their 20s in many cities across the country are earning more money than men in their same age group. For example, the median income of women ages 21 to 30 in New York City who are employed full-time was 17 percent higher than that of comparable men.

In this article, many women felt as though their paycheck played a big part in the demise of their relationships. The men who didn't make as much as the women they dated felt threatened to the point of ending the romance. While I understand that most men want to bring home the bacon, thus having the power position in the relationship, what I want to know is would — or do you feel embarrassed by your paycheck if it's larger than your significant other's?


Join The Conversation
UrbanBohemian UrbanBohemian 9 years
My salary is too low to relate to these women. I liked the article, but I didn't like how on page 2, in talking with Michael Cunningham, the phrase "dating down" is used. The writer could have been more specific and less blatant, because that just sounds bad, especially if the guy is alright aside from having a lower salary than the girl.
geohiker geohiker 9 years
I used to make more money than my husband, before I quit work to go back for my PhD. He did not care about my money - we keep our stuff separate, but did say he would not mind if I made a lot of money so he could stay home and ride his bike all the time!
AmazonChick AmazonChick 9 years
The only time I've made more than a bf is when I was in uni working and the bf was a student not working... I admit that I don't make a lot, I work for a small company in an industry that's famous for being "financially challenged" (there are jokes about being underpaid in my industry). Where I am now, I can afford my apartment and other necessities and to go out every so often for drinks or dinner. Sure I would love to make more, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job, so if making more meant not loving my job, I'm good with my current pay cheque! That being said, I'm already gearing up for my review in Dec and how to get a raise :D
totonlaura totonlaura 9 years
If you work for your paycheck why would you be embarrased..
onesong onesong 9 years
i make a good bit more than my boyfriend, and he LOVES it, and is so proud of me. he said that one of the first things he loved about me was on our first date, i bought the second round of drinks, and insisted upon trading off all night. he couldn't believe it.
sugar_me_sweet sugar_me_sweet 9 years
my boyfriend would love it if i can make more money. i don't see him getting jealous or mad at all.
OliveBlack OliveBlack 9 years
Yes, by how low it is.
prinzes3006 prinzes3006 9 years
I wish I made that kind of money to be embarrassed. lol! Actually I wouldn't be embarrassed if it were the case. I think my man would love it. ha ha ha!
eaker eaker 9 years
I've always made more than my boyfriends, and it's only been an issue once. The only reason that guy was jealous was because he was eight years older and had a college degree (I don't).
mominator mominator 9 years
I am not because my paycheck is just my spending money. I only work for the socialization of it. I thank God I am lucky to be able to do that. SO I really do not care what anyone thinks. If I had to depend on just my check then yes I probably would.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
i only made more than my bf one time. but the years i made the most i ever made; i was single. i think men (age 30 or so and up) have a problem with income and gender sterotypes. younger men (and women) give it less thought. i think that's a good thing.
Sofiababy Sofiababy 9 years
financially* =)
Sofiababy Sofiababy 9 years
um i'm a finacially challenged college student-- so yes! i'm embarrassed!! overworked & underpaid right here. r.rainbows-- right on!! i dont see why you would be embarrassed if you were on the opposite end of the scale?? its just money, and well-earned at that. i mean unless you were because you wanted to be stingy and not be bothered into treating or something. HA!
raptinrainbows raptinrainbows 9 years
i've worked like a dog to get where i am professionally and i deserve every penny. so, no, i am not embarrassed by my salary, and i have no problem with saying good riddance to anyone who has a problem with it (or would want to use me for it). i don't choose or reject people according to their paychecks and i don't appreciate those who do.
Linny Linny 9 years
not applicable
ClassicsDiva ClassicsDiva 9 years
If you actually read the article, it sounds like some of the men are bothered by the high salary, but some of the women also sound like they are just generally more mature than the men their age, and others just sound downright snobby, and are bothered by men who make less than they do. Every person is different, but it just goes to show you that these things can run both ways. I just want to be able to pay the bills. Anything beyond that is gravy. My salary never is, and never will be, an indicator of my self-worth, or something to be proud of (and not just because it will forever be small due to my chosen profession). What I am proud of is what I do with my life, and any man who doesn't support me in that, or who gets hung up on meaningless numbers, isn't worth my time.
amandaaa amandaaa 9 years
*sigh* i'm 19 and in college and have two jobs...soon to be possibly three. i'm a receptionist at an indoor go-kart track, i make smoothies and wraps at froots and i might work at hollister.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
Pfffft I need to make more!
ducks ducks 9 years
It's not just men. Everyone I know complains about the difference. "It must be nice to have so much money. I wouldn't know anything about that!" It would be nice if people weren't so petty.
i-am-elle i-am-elle 9 years
I'm employed, but not full-time. So I def wish I made more!
dmartinxoxo dmartinxoxo 9 years
All aboard the unemployment train!
looseseal looseseal 9 years
I can understand a woman being frustrated with relationships not working out because of the amount of money she makes. And it is frustrating and unfair because it's like this is society's way of "putting women in their place" by making it somehow a "bad thing" for women to have their own wealth. But embarrassed? Guilty? Are you kidding? Maybe women don't often want to say "men who feel threatened by my awesomeness are not worth my time". Because women are supposed to be "nice". And a comment like that might sound like sour grapes and hubris. And society is quick to demonize "uppity" women like that as "bitter raging b*tches from hell". But, let's face it, it's the truth! I don't make big money myself, but I admire the women who do and aspire to get there someday. Does that mean money is more important than love? I don't think that's what it's about. It's not just the money. It's the self-reliance. Besides, a man who thinks a woman is less desirable because she is more successful hardly loves her.
rubialala rubialala 9 years
I used to make more than hubby when we first started working but he has since passed me up (by a lot!). It was never a problem for us, though.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I have worked hard for what I have I would never be embarrassed.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
I don't make more. But if I did, I doubt it would be a problem. He'd love to have additional freetime for his training. Better yet, he'd love for my salary to support us completely so he could quit work and become a full time Ironman.
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