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Dear Poll: Are we Raising a Generation of Spoiled Kids?

A recent article on money and parenting brought up a really frightening realization -- parenting is now considered a competitive sport! Even if you aren't a parent yourself, this probably isn't all that surprising. As time moves on, keeping up with the Jones's is getting tougher and more cut throat.

Most parents want to make their kids happy, especially if they have the means to give them all the things they didn't have growing up, but when kids have nicer cars, cell phones, computers, etc. than their own parents, you have to ask yourself, is the older generation spoiling the younger generation rotten? Does giving them everything they ask for set them up for a life of being an unsatisfied "want monster"?


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calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
totally depends on how the parents are bringing the kids up. dating too many people, giving them whatever they want, having sex with just anyone, having babies outta marriage, allowing kids to wear skimpy clothes thats spoilage in my view
NadiaPotter NadiaPotter 9 years
I don't have kids of my own, but I have kids that have meals on my house because their mom is helping in my house. I love them very much, one of them I met him when he was 2 months, he call my mom "grandma" I even change his diapers and bath him a lot. Now his 5 years old and even if I'm very protective of him, my friends said that I am much of a ruler. I kind of walk over his foot if he has no shoes on, I told him if he has shoes, he doesn't need to walk without them around the house. If he doesn't do his homework we don't let him see any movies or play in the PC. If he doesn't eat all his food, we don't give him kool aid. My friend insist in said that I am hard on him. Of course I don't do any harm on his feet, only for him to remember, his mother start doing the same, we told them a lot of times "put your shoes on!" they want it the hard way... so be it. They learning. But I see people around me seeing me, and his mom as "devils" because we are "hard" on children. We aren't hard, we are trying not to raise a spoiled child, they get nasty and awful people in the future, and not strong ones. They shouldn't get nice things just because we can buy them, but because they deserve it, they must learn that a house, food, clothes and chores in the house are not for free, and that those are gifts they parents are giving to them.
itsmyhappyplace itsmyhappyplace 9 years
I am not a parent, but I can say that I know parenting is the toughest job in the world. I think some parents want to be "liked" by their kids so that they become more of a friend and less of a parent. I see this especially when kids turn into preteen and teens. Like,"hey, look mom's still got it!I'm not old" I feel guilty when I discipline you b/c then it would make me look like a bad, mean parent. I think it's so unconscious for these parents. It's easy for us to look at little toddlers who are throwing a fit in a restaurant and say they are spoiled and their parents aren't disciplining them--but toddlers throw fits. It is their forte. It's doesn't necessarily mean the parent is not discip. them. I also think that parents use material goods to appease their kids when they feel badly that they can't spend a lot of time with them. Or some have the belief that being popular as a child means having more stuff. That makes me sad.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I'm with you fab4 what happened to playing outside and making up your own games? Books and shoes no one is saying that it is not tough to raise a child I think that people are referring to the parents do absolutely nothing to discipline a child that is acting up in public and being disruptive to others. When I was growing up if we were not behaving it didn't matter where we were my Mom would immediately take us home, my sister freaked out in the middle of the shoe department at Nordstrom she apologized to the sales person and we left. It is one thing if it is a child under about 3 or 4 or a child that is autistic they do not always know the difference between right and wrong. Children need to learn that there are consequences to their bad behavior.
fab4 fab4 9 years
I just think that its healthier for children to play outside and to be creative and make up games for themselves instead of staring at a tv screen :)
books-and-shoes books-and-shoes 9 years
If you do not have children, I don't think you should criticize parents who have "brats". Until you become a parent, you won't really know how tough it is to raise a child. That said, I have 2 young children. For the most part, they are well behaved but definitely have their bratty moments. As a young parent, or even just as a parent in general, you never really know if you are doing the "right" thing. You can only do the best you know how and learn as you go. I do think overindulging (guilty here, I also grew up without much and wanted to give my kids more) leads to children expecting more instead of appreciating what they have. I used to feel bad about not being able to give them all the things they wanted. But in the real world, expectations are constantly let down. So now I don't feel as if I am a bad parent if I don't say yes to their every whim even if it within budget. They will learn to deal with that and I feel as though I'm helping prepare them for the world. But I still give my love freely :)
starturtle44 starturtle44 9 years
I think its more than spoiled or not, its the sense of entitlement. Getting nice stuff is great, and of course parents want their kids to have more than they did, that's natural. The problem in my opinion is that the kids seem to think they deserve that and more. It all just seems really ungrateful. I get so frustrated in malls and stores when I see kids screaming and throwing tantrums only to be quieted by getting handed a toy or some candy. If I had tried that growing up, we would have left the store and I definitely wouldn't have gotten what I was screaming for.
candy-apple candy-apple 9 years
fab4- i understand childhood obesity is a big problem in the states but i hate how people always dump the issue on one single thing. like video games. my dad's an art director in a major video game franchise, he makes video games for a living (mostly RPGs if anyone's geeky enough to care..), he loves playing them as does my mom. I grew up playing video games and I think there's nothing wrong with them- I'm not obese in the least and neither are any of my friends. i think it's as stupid to blame obesity on video games as it is to blame teenage violence on rock videos. parents and the education these children receive are responsible for both.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Just me didn't you just want to slap her. I love the fact that she got a car and wasn't even old enough to drive it, her brother and his friend totalled it so she got a new, more expensive car. My first car was a giant piece of crap. The obese child thing makes my stomach turn it is so sad.
fab4 fab4 9 years
I am not spoiled and I'm proud of that!! My kids will not be and I will be proud of that too!! I think kids are more lazy than anything. I don't understand why parents continue to buy things like video games when there are so many obese children.
JustMe21 JustMe21 9 years
Excuse me, my last post should of said, "Gave the car to her the day before her party, instead of on the actual day of her party" I was typing so fast I missed a few words lol.
JustMe21 JustMe21 9 years
Yes, without a doubt. It's sad. I watched a clip on the hit show "My super sweet 16" and this girl was angry that her mother bought her a brand new car (expensive car, I might add) and gave it to her the day of her party instead of at her party. This girl screamed, and cried and told her mother she hated her and that she had ruined her life. If my kids every act like that...I don't think I could handle it. Then again, I wouldn't raise them to be that way.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I do think a lot of kids are spoiled. I completely appreciate/understand giving your children more than you had growing up but there are limits and parents need to set them. Being spoiled and being a brat are 2 different things in my mind. We are going to end up with generations of kids that do not know how to work for anything. I am starting to see that in the workplace with a lot of kids coming out college. I am shocked by the number of college graduates that have never had summer jobs even through college then when they do get their first job they have a horrible time and cannot make the adjustment. No time magangement skills, not able to get to work on-time, no problem solving, and the lack of professionalism.
partysugar partysugar 9 years
I think everyone is a little spoiled...and that there is nothing wrong with it!
earthylovingirl earthylovingirl 9 years
yeah sure alot of kids's are, there's alot of lousy parents in the world.
stylish stylish 9 years
Yes, we are raising a generation of spoiled kids. I think adults have become way too "understanding" towards their children. All their little mistakes are "understandable" and "reasonabale", like nothing can go wrong in this world. It's almost like they are growing up in a *fantasy world*. I don't mean all parents do that, of course there are exceptions.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
Ever watch that show on MTV called 'My Super Sweet 16?' it is so sickening. Enough said!
KerryG KerryG 9 years
You know, people have been complaining about the worthlessness of the next generation since ancient Greece (heck, probably since time began) and the world hasn't ended yet. I think a lot of people are just lousy parents, and always have been. That said, through most of history (and in many poorer parts of the world today), bad parents *couldn't* raise children to be spoiled in the material sense simply because they couldn't afford it. The kids had to take on adult responsibilities from a very young age, so even if they were neglected or raised badly in other ways, they still had a sense of responsibility and obligation that more and more kids today lack. On the one hand, it's wonderful that we're becoming wealthy enough tht we can give our children childhoods, but it's also enabling bad parents to do a lot more serious damage to a much larger chunk of the population.
bluejeanie bluejeanie 9 years
eh, everyone has always thought that this generation is much more spoiled than they were. this isn't a new idea, i think that socrates said the same thing a couple thousand years ago. i'll find his quotation and post it. :P i guess i don't really see them as spoiled.
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 9 years
my generation is spoon-fed. we haven't had to fight or work hard for anything because our parents' generation did that for us. it seems like it's only getting worse with the new generation of kids.
Feesje Feesje 9 years
I agree that children today are much more spoiled than we were. But you can't blame the children for that. I hate those brats as well, but it's not their fault they grow up like this, it's their parents'. It seems that parents today are afraid to set boundaries. I don't know why exactly, maybe they think that their child will stop loving them if they do. My mother is a high school principal and she says that over the years, the students haven't really changed in attitude, but the parents have. Sure, these kids play pranks, get into a fight, sometimes don't get good grades,... But that happened in our days as well. What's changed is the reaction of the parents. When I was in high school and you got into a fight or your grades weren't as good as before, your parents had a talk with the principal, agreed with all the facts and you were punished. Nowadays, parents believe their child is absolutely perfect. "Our son would never do that!", "She studies a lot, it's the ADHD that causes her to fail!", ... and are actually threatening school staff to cancel the punishment. My friends who volunteer at youth clubs say the same thing. Parents spoil their kids so much that these kids don't know how to respond to actual boundaries. They think they can get away with anything. And they actually CAN get away with it, because if they do something they're not supposed to do, their parents come over to defend them. I wonder what kind of adults these kids will be, actually.
SugarPrep SugarPrep 9 years
I think that kids these days are not spoiled. It's that they get more than older generations used to have,thus making them think that's spoiled.
lms lms 9 years
I definitely agree that we are raising spoiled children. I personally do not think that I spoil my daughter, but she is constantly telling me that adults are responsible for making kids happy and that they should come first at all times. I keep trying to explain to her that that is not true. I tell her that her behavior determines what she gets or doesn't get. She may appear spoiled to others b/c she has alot of really nice clothes. I do not consider dressing a kid in certain types of clothes spoiling them. However, my husband says she has too much "stuff" and all of my other family members with children say that she doesn't have enough "stuff". Some other posters commented on kids getting their food in restaurants before everyone else being spoiled. I can't speak for all kids, but in my daughters case I request it first if the rest of us are having appetizers or salads because she eats ridiculously slow. Slow to the point where it is really annoying.
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 9 years
I wasn't spoiled growing up. we didn't have cable, were only allowed to watch one movie a day only IF it was raining. one piece of dessert every other day. the rest of the time we were banished outside like...children of the corn, but in the 'burbs, lol. I felt REALLY deprived as a child. so now that I'm an adult, for my sister I bought a really lavish christmas present (for my broke college student salary anyways)- I bought her a digital camera with a case and a memory card. The thing is, she was only a sophomore in high school when she got it, and all of her friends were JUST starting to get it. so because she didn't even know what it was like to not have it- she didn't really appreciate it. I wanted her to have it because she's a great sister and I want her to have nice things, but she can't really appreciate them...unless she knows what it's like not to have them. it was one of the best lessons ever, because I agree with julie- if working in a diner and seeing kids throw food everywhere is any indication, the next generation is going to crap, lol
demeter demeter 9 years
Definitely! If you knew my boss's two kids, you would definitely agree with me as well. Sheesh.
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