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Does Being Laid Off Affect How You View Your Spouse?

The current economy has affected most families, but since December 2007, more than 80 percent of workers laid off have been men. As a result, many couples have to switch roles to keep their families afloat. For Rick and Eleanor Hemmert, this is ruining their marriage. When Rick was laid off in November of 2008, he took on the task of primary caretaker to their 7-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, which is something his wife envies. To make ends meet, Eleanor picked up more hours at the office and as a result her resentment towards her spouse has increased. Believing that a man should support his wife, Eleanor says she lost respect for Rick that will not be restored until he is employed. Do you think she has a valid point?

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milosmommy milosmommy 8 years
I think this couple probably had some issues before he lost his job and it's just compounded it. If it were to happen at my house as long as my husband was actively searching for another job and was taking care of our son and the house while I was working I wouldn't have a problem. Now if he spent all day in his jammies playing Wii all day then yeah we'd have a big problem.
gidigirl gidigirl 8 years
What a selfish B*tch with a inflated sense of entitlement. Is she oblivious to what is going on with the job market?
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 8 years
I saw this on Jezebel. That lady was acting ridiculous, she needs to talk to her husband instead of going on national television.
erthed erthed 8 years
My husband lost his job last fall. We were already having issues with our marriage so to add insult to injury... here you go. A nice pile of crap. Right before he lost his job we decided to go to counseling. Best idea ever. That is what saved us through the heartache of his job loss. I am completely envious of the fact he can stay at home, in jammies all day if he so choses, and raise our three children. Am I resentful? A tad. But it was the best thing to happen to our marriage because he is a better father than he ever thought possible and THAT has raised his self-confidence and changed the way he carried himself in our marriage. It's not easy to admit to people you are unemployment, but it is GREAT to admit to people that you have become a better father and husband because of it. Before he was laid off I would always ask him... "what would you do if I died tomorrow?" His response? "Well, obviously I would have to move in with my parents." Now? "I would never even THINK about moving in with my parents." To know he his not only comfortable but CONFIDENT as a parent, it gives me such peace inside. I can't be resentful that he doesn't have a job because he has made the most of this time with his children that he possibly could. And as a husband now? Wow. He is my absolute hero. I don't know how long I can keep our family afloat without his paycheck, but I DO know that I don't mind pulling some extra weight on the work-end of life to continue this level of enriched bliss we have going for us now. I think these people need to see a counselor. But looking at their interaction makes me think that it's probably just too late.
Modus-Vivendi Modus-Vivendi 8 years
I'm so embarrassed for that man. How can he be with someone like that?
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
yeah, it's not as if her husband is the only one unable to find a job. this woman should get over herself and suck it up; do what is best for her family for the time being. it's not like he's never going to get another job, it's just the state of the economy.
Moms Moms 8 years
Being laid off is something a person can't help in this economy so I don't understand why one spouse would be mad at the other for ending up in that situation. It's just life.
lizrocks lizrocks 8 years
My husband's employment doesn't change who he is as a person. I don't see why it would change how I see him. As long as he was taking care of home business, I don't see why I would grudge him a break- esp. one he has no control over!
khrystena khrystena 8 years
I must be an odd one out, my husband has been home much more this off season than before. (construction, although slow from January to March, this is the slowest we can remember) I like him home. He drops and picks up my daughter from daycare because even the days he works his hours are much more enjoyable (8 hour days vs 12 hour days). He has supper cooked, and he has finished the basement. He finds things to do, although laundry isn’t done, he does make sure that the kitchen is clean. I mention things that need to be done and he gets them done to fill his time! I would think that if more husbands would fill the role of helper/homemaker then they would be ok with staying at home. There is nothing wrong with a stay at home dad but they are expected to the same things they would expect their wife they were a stay at home mom.
care0531 care0531 8 years
I think so. My husbands job is seasonal so he is off in the summer months- we get a long so much better when he works. He gets lazy and down in the dumps. I like having some alone time too and I never get any of that in summer unless I send him on a trip to see family by himself. It may sound bad but I think it's healthier when we both have things going on in our lives and we aren't totally focused on each other 24/7.
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