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Good Idea or Bad Idea: Spending a lot on your Wedding

LuckyGrl 83 recently published a poll on TeamSugar asking her fellow readers how much they spent on their wedding. A few weeks ago during engagement week, many readers voiced their frustration on how some couples spend a small fortune on their weddings.

While some women have been dreaming about their wedding day all their lives, others don't feel the need to spend their life savings on one event. So, I thought I would throw it out there to all of you. With the divorce rate so high these days, do you think it's a good idea or a bad idea to put so much emphasis and money into your wedding day?


Join The Conversation
Schaianne Schaianne 10 years
My brother-in-law had his wedding at my house. Total cost? Less than $800 all told, including rings, dress (free, from me, haha.) food, etc. He and his wife both loved it and had a great time. I have a great digital camera and played photographer (I'm a bit of an amateur photographist, myself) and they also have tons of pics from the day.
vmruby vmruby 10 years
Good idea depending on a person's finances.We paid for it on our own. We didn't have our parents to give us a choice. My husband's parents were both deceased by the time he was 16 and my dad had recently passed away 2 years before we married and I wouldn't have taken it from my mom even if she could have afforded to give it.We spent a decent amount on my wedding because that was a day i had waited for,for most of my life and it was a dream come true but I didn't go overboard. I spent more money on my honeymoon ......
the-makeup-blogette the-makeup-blogette 10 years
no way
ms_mags ms_mags 10 years
If you're not able to contribute much to the wedding, there's always going to be that sense of owing people even if they say it's a gift. I already know what my wedding budget will be and it's nowhere near 20K.
Karla-Sugar Karla-Sugar 10 years
Divorce rate or not, it's foolish to spend all that money on a party. Put the money towards a house!
columbusavenue columbusavenue 10 years
I think if people have a lot of money and want to spend it, spend away. Many people don't have thousands of dollars to spend but feel pressured to put on "an event" that is expensive or have a fairytale wedding that they've dreamed about (but they are not fairytale characters, lol!) How much money is spent on a wedding is no indicator of the quality of the marriage that the couple will have. I find it interesting that couples will have a budget for their wedding but won't have a budget for spending money in their every day life after the wedding. In my opinion, a wedding is the most expensive dinner party most people will ever have, but a marriage is supposed to be for a life time. Just because people spend an insane amount of money, only to get divorced a short time later probably shows they wanted the attention that comes with getting married, rather than focusing on why they were getting married in the first place. I've been married for nine years and had a modest wedding, but it was what we both wanted and could afford.
SeptemberLights SeptemberLights 10 years
I will spend any amount of money on the dress and the reception...those are the two most important!
Stupidasscat Stupidasscat 10 years
My mom told me and my 2 sisters she would give us each $1500 dollars towards our weeding and it was ours to spend how we like if we just went to the courthouse and thats it we still get the money. My oldest sister had a destination wedding spent at least$10,000, my middle sister had the traditional big puffy dress whole nine yards spent at least$10,000, me and my husband did alot of the stuff ourselves and friends offered there sevices as their gift to us i.e. doing the flowers, food, etc. we spent no more than $3000 total best day of my life not one thing went wrong bought my dress at Macys for $200 wore it once. Still happily married. If its in your budget and afterwards doesnt cause a strain in your marriage go for it just know that when it comes time to buy the house what was paid on the wedding maybe a sore spot.
kendalheart kendalheart 10 years
Your right purple, but the reality of it is people do not enter marriage (most of them anyway) with the idea that divorce is in their future...too love struck at that time!
purplesugar purplesugar 10 years
I don't think its necessary to spend a lot of money on your wedding in order for it to be beautiful and memorable, but I dislike Dear's notion that the divorce rate should affect that decision. If you're not wanting to spend money on your wedding because you might get divorced, then you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
kendalheart kendalheart 10 years
My friend was married, spent about $10k on her wedding and 3 years later, her and her EX husband are still paying off the wedding..sounds like a bad idea to me!
bluejeanie bluejeanie 10 years
yah, i guess if you're well off and don't have to worry about finances and have everything already then go nuts. i didn't think about that.
Mme-Hart Mme-Hart 10 years
I voted Other. We went lavish and rented out a fine dining establishment (the kind of restaurant that takes 6 months for a reservation) and spent a LOT on the meals and wine/champagne. However, we had 22 guests and paid per guest so we were able to completely SPOIL those closest to us, but without going broke! We spent a fortune on our honeymoon (we travelled for a month) :D
Deba Deba 10 years
I would waste a lot of money on the honeymoon
LuckyGrl-83 LuckyGrl-83 10 years
We have come to the conclusion that all we want is to be surrounded by the ones we love, dress up for the pictures, and throw one hell of a fun party!! No sit-down dinner or assigned seating.... yeah, a first dance, but thats about it regarding the "wedding traditions"... we want our guests to leave saying that it was the most fun they've had at a wedding, and have us enjoy it as well... We will provide plenty of hors d'oeuvres, drinks, and great music playing the whole time... the decorations and lavish dinner and gorgeous cake are not necessary for us... ------- :star: :star: :star:
andaman andaman 10 years
Each to their own dearsugar. If I had the money I would have had my wedding in a yatch with closed friends and family but we didn't have and still don't have that kind of money. We went to Bali and it was wonderful. But I would have liked our friends and family there on a yatch with us before we left them there to enjoy ourselves. It's up to the individual.
Dixie-Theychangedit Dixie-Theychangedit 10 years
I had a small, but beautiful wedding and we didn't spend an arm and a leg. We spent more on the honeymoon. Why expect your parents to blow their retirement, or worse, go in debt during middle-age or....start off a marriage deep in debt if you pay for it yourself? A house is different, you are going to be living in it and it is an investment. A wedding is money burned. Hopefully, you only do it once and memories can be made just as well for a lower price as for a king's ransom.
designergirl designergirl 10 years
All I want is a nice dress and a nice cake. I'm not big on weddings, and I can't stand really lavish ones. As long as everyone has fun, why do you need to spend a lot of money?
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
i don't think you should spend more than you ca afford (don't go into debt) and i don't think this is "the most important day of your life!!!!" the decision to get married is important, but you are just as married if you get married at city hall or with 500 friends and family members in attendance.
katie225 katie225 10 years
see, this is where my bf and i disagree. i don't want to spend a lot of money on a wedding. i totally want it small, beautiful, intimate, and romantic with only family and the closest of friends. no church, no bridesmaids or groomsmen, just simple and intimate. my bf, on the other hand, is of the whole, "you only get married once" mentality and would like to invite every person he's ever known, do the whole church thing, and have fifty thousand bridesmaids and groomsmen (yeah, yeah, i'm exaggerating, but you get my drift). i just want to get out of the whole process with some money in my pockets! and considering my parents are planning on donating $0 to the whole fiasco (and i would never dream of asking his family, who is in no position to help pay, though they'd probably volunteer some money!), we'll even see if anything happens!
grl-in-the-world grl-in-the-world 10 years
My boyfriend and I are totally into spending as little as possible when we get married! We want to buy our own home and stay out of debt, so a big wedding is definitely not a priority for us. As long as our family and close friends are there, the day will be special :)
candy-apple candy-apple 10 years
my parents had no money when they got married.. they did it at the marriage licence bureau with just their parents as witnesses, and my mom wore a grey-silver cocktail dress. that afternoon, they went to surprise all of their friends with a white flower for each one, and told them they'd gotten married. it didn't cost anything, was a nice gesture, and they're still happily married. I don't know, i like the idea of a fairy-tale wedding if you can afford it, otherwise you just have to remember what's really important. what should really be exciting isn't the pretty dress or the cake or guests, but the fact that you're going to share your life with someone you love.
ash_marisa ash_marisa 10 years
You can have a large wedding and not go into debt...the avg cost of a wedding is something like, $35,000 or so, more if you are in a big city. I've had many friends who have done it for $20,000 (some less). Thats still saving $15,000 below the average. All I am saying if you want that big wedding, you can do it without spending like $40K. Some people do want a big wedding. Just be smart about where u allocate the money, do more things on your own (favors, invites, decor), cut costs where you can.
MrsJigglesworth MrsJigglesworth 10 years
PGTW- I agree. I just wanted to bring up the other view that nobody else seemed to discuss. For some people, a "lavish" wedding may not be a huge dent in their wallet and they actually might have even been frugal in proportion to their means. Also, I am not a fan of the idea of spending your whole life savings or going into debt, but if that is your dream and decision, I will not be one to judge.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 10 years
nixie, reading that broke my heart! As a book lover I cannot imagine parting with treasured first editions to fund a wedding. What a sacrifice they made for your sister. I hope she was appreciative... And jgasia, you are right, it is all relative. If you are wealthy and have plenty of money, by all means throw a big wedding if you want one. And even if you don't have a lot of money, and you want a huge wedding, go for it. If you are able to balance the risks of going into debt for a one day event against your desire for a perfect day, and it's that important to you, then who are all the rational people in the world to tell you not to? I'm all for people who spend ridiculous amounts of money on weddings, as long as I'm invited to them. I just personally don't plan to.
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