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Handle This: You Caught Him Reading Your Journal

If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?

You recently lost your job and as a result, you've been pretty down and out. Thankfully you have a very supportive and loving live-in boyfriend, but truth be told, you've been craving your alone time. You have found solace in your journal, something you never had time for before, and it's really helping you sort through your feelings. Your boyfriend has noticed that you've been pulling back a little and has responded by being extra clingy, which in turn only irritates you.

The other night, while having dinner at home, your boyfriend made a strange comment — it sounded like he was privy to your personal thoughts only written in your journal. When you asked him point blank if he had read it, he nodded and quietly said yes. As you stormed out of the kitchen, he said that he was left with no other choice since you hadn't been willing to open up to him. You understand that he was just trying to help you during this rough patch, but you're furious — he betrayed your trust and went behind your back. You're going through enough as it is, so how would you handle it?


Join The Conversation
gbychan gbychan 8 years
He needs to find another way to get her to open up to him. And if he accidentally read her journal, he should immediately apologize or at least have the sense to keep quiet about it. Someone who snoops like that for such a lame reason isn't trustworthy.
HeyJill HeyJill 8 years
In my world this is the one really truly unforgivable sin and my fiance knows it. I can forgive lying, I can forgive cheating, but I can't forgive that kind of privacy invasion. I had a very long term boyfriend who read my journal and it was probably the angriest I've ever been in my life.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I have nothing to hide.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 8 years
I'll be so furious at his that I would give him an ultimatum. To me respect is an essential part of a relationship, and if he read something that he was not suppose to read I found that very disrespectful. I know I'll be very and it would make me more mad if he told me that "I did not gave him another choice." That's unacceptable you never read other people stuff unless given permission to do so.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
I'd be livid. My journal is very private and reveals a side of me I don't want most people to know.
Random2 Random2 8 years
I'd be pretty upset with him, especially since my bf is pretty particular about his privacy. It wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I would have a hard time speaking with him for a few days after.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
Wow, there is no way this is ok to me...but then again, I have a major thing about privacy. If your guy doesn't think you are communicating enough for his liking, he should just ask you. A journal is personal for a reason. It makes me wonder if he is actually concerned about something else, such as if you are having second thoughts about the relationship, another man, etc, but the end result is the same....they are your PRIVATE thoughts and none of his fucking business. Sorry, but this is borderline stalkerish to me...I don't believe so many people are ok with it here. If a guy did this to me, I would take it as a lack of trust and respect for my personal space, and I would be outta there.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
yea i'd probably feel a little violated. but at the same time i know i'd be more than tempted to read his if he had one, so i'd get over it :P i always wanted to keep a journal, i just cant commit to it!!!
thelorax thelorax 8 years
I'm really intrigued by the mixed responses. My husband logs in and reads all of my e-mails, both work and personal, citing the same reason - that I don't communicate enough. I'm truly not a super talkative person, but when I try, he tunes me out and never remembers what I say. So, because I can personally relate to this situation, I say I would be upset! If you really care, ASK me!
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
Honestly, I'd be a little disappointed with myself that I let the relationship get to the point where he couldn't talk to me and had to resort to looking through my journal. HELLO, women snoop on their men all the time if they think something is amiss. Yeah, it's an invasion of privacy but he did it with the best intentions. Sit down, have a heart-to-heart and tell him what you need from him during this stressful time. You should have done that in the beginning, rather than venting to a notebook.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I would love it! It would mean that he cared about my thoughts, feelings and what I got up to when he wasn't around. It would be wonderful. I don't keep a journal though and it's very unlikely he would read it. He doesn't have to run around trying to second guess how I am feeling as we have a very open relationship. If something upsets us we just talk about it. It wouldn't bother me AT ALL though.
miriah15 miriah15 8 years
greenapples1987 greenapples1987 8 years
i would be disapointed, but would forgive him for doing so.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
When we were dating, my husband found my journal and read it. In it, there was something in there about how I didn't find him as physically attractive as other guys I'd dated in the past, but that I thought he was the most attractive person on the INSIDE that I'd ever met. He told me that he read my journal and I told him that if he was upset by anything that was in there, it was his fault for reading my journal and finding out about it. I didn't really mind because for the most part, what I wrote in there was mostly things I'd previously shared with him anyway.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
I'd definitely be upset. I understand that he's be concerned because he feels I'm not open with him, but that's still no excuse to go snooping behind my back. That's a huge violation of trust. It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I would tell him that in the future I will be more forthcoming if he'll respect my privacy and never snoop again.
Symphonee Symphonee 8 years
I would not talk to to him for a day or two while I bought a new lock and key journal. Then I would sit him down and let him know that I don't appreciate the invasion of privacy and I understand that it was because he was worried. I would also let him know that the next time he tried to read my journal, he should at least be smart enough to NOT let me know that he read it cause if he did then he proves that he is too stupid to be my boyfriend.
luna08 luna08 8 years
That would probably be a deal-breaker for me.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I'd be livid - it's time for him to go. What ELSE of my personal things has he been privy too?! I don't care who it is, there are certain things that are mine that other people don't get to see or touch. I would have established this beforehand, so he would have known he was in trouble if I even got an inkling that he had been snooping through my diary. There's no respect in that. He could have simply asked what was going on, or made his intentions of helping known before invading privacy.
a1stbornunicorn a1stbornunicorn 8 years
Yikes, if you talked it out he wouldn't have resorted to that. I mean, he is your live-in bf... if it were your husband would you have reacted the same way?
vmruby vmruby 8 years
I would mind it......It's my journal, my private thoughts isn't that the point of having one?
bluestar bluestar 8 years
Wow, I would be pissed off! Why doesn't he snoop and read all my emails while he's at it? It would be a lot better if he would have just asked me instead of sneaked into my journal! That's effed up.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
agree with the other girls! i'd appreciate that he cared enough to read it....i'm really not a journal person though so i guess i don't know what it would feel like
Pistil Pistil 8 years
I'd be more offended if he didn't care at all...
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
I wouldnt mind either. It means he cares enough about you to find out whats going on in your head and it would help explain how you're feeling. I would just talk to him about it and use him as my sounding board instead of my journal.
NurseKimberly NurseKimberly 8 years
I wouldn't mind...
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