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Have You Ever Had to Live With Your Ex Post Breakup?

On yesterday's Oprah, Suze Orman offered up some harsh advice to those struggling financially. One couple was in such dire straights that they actually had to ask if they could afford their divorce. Suze "approved them," told them they could in fact afford it, but it got me thinking about what their lives would be like if they didn't have enough money to separate. They'd have to coexist under the same roof and sleep in the same bed, but then I realized, couples do that all the time.

I've never split up with a live-in boyfriend before so I don't know what that transition period is like, but tell me, have you ever had to stick around in the home you shared with your significant other post breakup? If so, how did it work out?


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nativeco nativeco 5 years
Post script clarification: we are NOT ex's with benefits. We sleep in separate rooms and are more like housemates. Damn-being poor is a bitch!!!
nativeco nativeco 5 years
After being apart and divorced 8 years (in which time I had an 8 year relationship with the 'love of my life,' I have been back living with my ex for over a year. Long story short-still love my soulmate, but it was an abusive relationship I had to get out. I'm pretty isolated socially-from dysfunctional family as well; little support system. I'm also on disability/SSI and only get $700 a month. I am on list for low income senior housing,but the list is long. My ex was kind enough to allow me to move back in until something comes up(he should be after the ugly divorce lawyer he got (me-none-myself) and I came out with nothing except some maintenance for a term,but I had to pay taxes on it (he got tax break) and I had to pay child support.  Anyway-our relationship is friendly-more like siblings. He is kind & generally a good man, but I totally see why I left in the first place. He hasn't had a relationship and it shows because his self-indulgence and 'me first/only/center of his world attitude has gotten worse. We both are quicker to admit when we are wrong,apologize etc., than in our marriage. BUT---he is very poor listener, kind of a slob, not a good (worse now) communicator, insists he's right when he's wrong; can be passive-aggressive, stubborn, controlling, etc.,etc.  I am grateful for many things he is & does, but sometimes he gets on my nerves with his habits and I think I'd rather sleep in my car. With more distance between us, time, growth---I feel better about leaving him back then,because I was right in my assessment of what the major problems were in our marriage. And while I tried to change him (mistake!), I feel more self assured in my decision. Like-I don't blame myself for the majority of problems in our relationship and it wasn't in my imagination.  SO, it is a major challenge for both of us. We take one day at a time & make the best out of a less than desirable situation. I WISH I had more chemistry/love for him-but it hasn't happened so far. I'm open to everything (a miracle from God-it could happen!)-- but 'attached to nothing.' Meaning I'm not holding my breath. We also try to make the best of it for our grown kids & grandchild's sake. We both agree on how much we love them! AND share 40 years of shared memories and experiences. I hope we will always be friends. Summary-living with my ex can be good, just ok, and a total nightmare!!! UGH!!! But-you gotta do what you gotta do. Hope there is a happy ending.  
Veka Veka 7 years
No, I never have. My ex moved out about a month before we finally broke up (then it all went downhill from there). On the other hand, my current boyfriend lived with his ex-fiance when he and I first met. I'm not sure how long they had been broken up for, and I don't even want to know if they had to share the same bed...ugh. But the day he moved back into town was our first real date and we've been together and happy ever since. I just try not to think about him living with his ex.
vmruby vmruby 7 years
No ......the only man i've ever lived with is my husband.
Andi14746360 Andi14746360 8 years
This just happened to me. Sadly I saw the breakup coming and suggested we move out to save our relationship (or any drama) but he insisted we give it a chance. Two days after we would've moved out he dumped me and insisted he wasn't sleeping on the couch...needless to say it was not a good experience at all from then on
Elite-Lady-Cathleen Elite-Lady-Cathleen 8 years
This happened to me, I had to live with my ex for 4 months after we broke up. The worst part was that when we moved in together I moved away from my friends and family. Although I had lived with him for over a year I still hadn't made any friends that I would consider living with or just crashing with to get away. In the end I moved back home with my parents and commuted an hour and half one way to and from work every day just to escape it. I've seen "the breakup" but I will never watch it again, because there is nothing funny about it when you've lived it
Squeaks26 Squeaks26 8 years
Yes. I lived with my boyfriend for 4 months before I moved out after our breakup. We had a year contract for an apartment. He said he would pay all of the penalties, but there was a reason we got a two bedroom when we moved in. It was tough. Especially when his sorry ass started dating. But when he found out how pathetic and insecure he was I had moved on and moved out two weeks early. I was the bigger person and it was a good lesson.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I haven't, thankfully. I've always either thrown them out (because it was my place) or moved out myself!
cptnruthless cptnruthless 8 years
It was horrible... we broke up just before our lease was up. I stayed at a friend's house (who worked with me and now we're dating), but I felt locked out of my own place - I'd call to see if he was around so I could pack up some stuff to take... luckily I found a place right away so I pretty much moved everything except furniture until he left. Although the bastard left all the trash behind and made me do all the cleaning/vaccuming. UGH. I'm glad I lived with him though - he was a good boyfriend to start off with, but horrible live-in boyfriend (even though he was in the Coast Guard and was gone most of the time!). Now that I live with the new boyfriend, it's much better and we get along so very great!
jessolicious jessolicious 8 years
i put an end to that earlier this week. living together just kept me in denial. we still slept in the same bed, took showers together and hung out like we did before... except he would be on the phone at all hours of the night with some girl at work who had a crush on him and i'd lie awake in bed sobbing. i finally couldn't take it anymore. i'm now of the opinion that ending a relationship requires a clean break.
tiffanyfuchsia tiffanyfuchsia 8 years
I once lived with a boyfriend for 3 months total, and we broke up after the first 6 weeks. It was pretty bad. I remember being at my best friend's house and saying, "I don't want to go home, because he's there doing really annoying things... like breathing in and out."
nancita nancita 8 years
I had to live with a boyfriend I'd broken up with for about 3 weeks while I found an apartment. It was horrible.
emalove emalove 8 years
Oh, but let me clarify that we did NOT sleep in the bed, let alone the same room, unlike the photo up the top! LOL. I moved into the guestroom while he was still there.
emalove emalove 8 years
Yes! We broke up in August of 2005, and I let him continue living in my townhouse until November. I don't know why...guess I felt bad that he really had no place to go, and things didn't end too too badly between us. It was weird and awkward at times, but not horrible.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
No. Like GlowingMoon, I didn't move in with my husband until we got married and I never lived with anyone before that. I personally wouldn't move in with anyone that wasn't my spouse. Call me old-fashioned, but that's how I was raised. I couldn't imagine living with someone I broke up with though...that'd be beyond depressing.
frizzyfawn frizzyfawn 8 years
Oh, and I forgot to mention he kept trying to bring over the girl that he was seeing and was the reason for the split.
care0531 care0531 8 years
Actaully yes I did but things ended up working out in the end. It gave us time to make things work rather then just calling it quits and throwing in the towel. I think people are too quick to do that these days in a marriage before really trying to make it work. Its been about 4 years since we were going to split and things are better then ever!
frizzyfawn frizzyfawn 8 years
Yes and it was absolutely horrible; we had to wait out the lease. We used to scurry around the house to avoid each other and try to stay longer at work and school to stay out of the house. I even started driving to a friend's house three hours away every couple of days when I didn't have classes to get out of that house.
cbaby28 cbaby28 8 years
yes and it was the most awful thing i expierenced
sweetpeabrina sweetpeabrina 8 years
Yep. Lived w/ the ex-husband for about a week after he asked for the divorce. It was miserable. Then he moved out and it was just as bad - he took the king sized bed (I couldn't bear to sleep in it anyway) so it was me in a huge room in a tiny twin sized bed. Quite depressing.
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