Skip Nav
In Defense of "Wasting Time" — and Why It Actually Makes You a Better Employee
What Does the Average 20-Something Know About Money?
This Woman Ditched the Corporate World to Start Her Own Monthly Box For Book-Lovers

Have You Ever Had a Sugar Daddy?

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I've always joked about this idea with my girlfriends, but recently it's become as real as ever. Not that I've acted upon it (I have a long-term boyfriend), but I was offered.

A relative of a friend apparently wants to pay for my past student loans and grad school, if I become his girlfriend. He's one of those outrageously wealthy sons of CEOs that like younger girls. (I'm 20, he's 30.) I just think it's funny that someone even SAY things like that.


So have you ever been offered something monetary in exchange for your "time?" (Wow it really sounds like prostitution now.)

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community. Maybe we'll feature your content on TrèsSugar.

Join The Conversation
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 6 years
If he has that kind of money to throw around, why not just ask him to do it as a favor? The rich should be encouraged in their charity. She could have told him she'd keep his generosity in mind next time she became single, but that she couldn't promise anything.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer 6 years
Just for the record, the OP said she didn't ACT ON IT, but was offered by a friends' relative to be his girlfriend if he bought out her student loans. Technically, he's still a stranger, which DOES constitute as prostitution. Plus, she said she was already in a committed relationship. I've never been in this sort of situation before, and my personal opinion is that it's completely degrading for women to sell themselves like this. You may say you aren't 'selling yourself', but for women who will let their finances get before their emotions...I'm all for logical thinking, but if I'm in love with a man, I'm not going to leave him just because another man can pay for my education. OP, good on you for not going through with it. I definitely wouldn't have.
teethpick teethpick 6 years
But some men just aren't good looking enough to get relationships the normal way. Lets face it, dating and love are very physical games and a man who is average or under-average has either two choices: stay single or pay for it. Have you considered this?
BrownEyedBabe BrownEyedBabe 7 years
I'd love to find a sugar daddy since every guy I date thinks I should be his sugar mamma because I work hard for what I have and have more than they do. It would be nice to find someone who could take care of me when needed! If two people are in love, I see nothing wrong with a man wanting to take care of his woman. A man flaunting his money to "collect" woman is a whole other story. They either are socially inept and can't get a woman or like the control. Try getting away when you have no job or money of your own....very hard.
ellaie ellaie 7 years
how we can reduce this sugar dady or mum probs?please help me.......
stylinfabqueen stylinfabqueen 7 years
I thought about getting on in the beginning of college but not all rich "married" guys want to just have sex. Some are just looking for a company and someone else to spend their money on other than their wives. It was a great thought to have because I wouldn't have to worry about any bills but I suddenly changed my mind when I knew I'd rather be independent.
Meija Meija 7 years
Not sure if you've heard about it but there is a an Australian book written about a woman's experience with this called "Sugar Babe" by Holly Hill. I dated an extremely wealthy man once but it seemed to turn out wrong because he wanted me to be his breeder and bear him children to "carry on his name" which left me wondering if he even loved me at all!? He also seemed to think that his money could buy me so I could stay at home and care for him and cook for him - all when I was a full time university student. I can see how having a Sugar Daddy may seem like an adventure and it would certainly bring finiancial relief but but if you are in a relationship already why would you want to destroy this? I really think you can't put a price on your self like this and there is way too much room for things to go wrong in this situation...
Old-School Old-School 7 years
Look. I smell something fishy here. Only a dunderhead would approach a young, lovely girl and clumsily volunteer to be her "sugar daddy." Maybe this is the girl's fantasy, but men are far too suave to ever blurt out such an awkwardly maladroit proposition. And if one were ever to do so, I'd be in favor of seeing the feeble-minded coffin dodger frogmarched out onto the boulevard and given a good, sound horse-whipping.
bransugar79 bransugar79 7 years
The problem is, this isn't a case of someone caring and providing for you. This is clearly and plainly prostitution. This is a guy who saw you, wants you, and doesn't care if you are interested in him or having a real relationship. He thinks he can purchase you, like a can of soda or a bag of Doritos. If that doesn't offend/ embarrass you then I think something might be wrong with your self image. Also the OP said she wasn't entertaining the idea just wanted to get comments as to if others would do it.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 7 years
A wealthy friend of my parents once told my mom that he would pay for my college if she would have sex with him during that time. She didn't and I now have $800/month school payments. Thanks mom! ;-)
skigurl skigurl 7 years
frig if i were single and he was pretty normal i may date a guy if he would take care of my loans....i wouldn't date him for long, but jeez i could use an extra 40K
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
I'll echo comment #1 in that this circumstance is prostitution. Don't do it. Don't ever give another person that kind of control over you and your affairs. Although I'm in a loving relationship I'm often approached by young men twenty years my junior and I say what do I look like a Sugar It's really odd because men around my age hardly ever hit on me but for some reason I'm a (twink) magnet.
sourcherry sourcherry 7 years
I'm with jazzytummy and Lyv, it doesn't seem like prostitution, it *is* prostitution. But it's not like you'd be hurting anyone, if you feel comfortable with it...
Lyv Lyv 7 years
Haha I don't think a 30-year-old dating a 20 year-old qualifies as "liking younger girls". Wait... that's beside the point. My view on "sugar daddys" is... it's prostitution with a cute name, like comment #1 said. But it's your body and your life, so people should do whatever they feel like. You just can't lie to yourself, thinking for a second that it wouldn't be prostitution, and of course one would have to take the time to consider the emotional toll this could bring.
TammyO TammyO 7 years
Nope, not at all.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
Yes, I have. However, truthfully, most of the men I dated took care of me in that way. They were good providers and they're were generous towards me. It was THEIR language of love.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
I've had a sugar daddy, but he wasn't old. He was young but a busy man. I eventually got back together with my ex and stopped being naughty. lol. It was what it was and I had fun.
medenginer medenginer 7 years
I've never had the desire to do that. I will say ten years in age isn't a deal breaker if there's common interest and your compatible. There's a big difference in life experience between a 20 and 30 year old in most cases.
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
Problem is it doesn't sound like they're even remotely acquainted. Now I'm not even gonna judge.. it must be really tempting when there are loans to be paid in an economy like this etc. but I personally wouldn't do it. especially when you're already committed to someone.
Dragonflye Dragonflye 7 years
Oh, and my advice... personally, I wasn't comfortable accepting things either. Even dinners all the time. It didn't seem right that he should pay for things all the time. And then one day he said: "I do it because I can afford it and you can't and it makes me happy." So if he wants to pay the loans, let him pay the loans. The question is, do you want to be his girlfriend? I date him because I want to... I reciprocate with gifts too. Handmade gifts, books that I know he likes, or I make him dinner. He appreciates it too.
Marriage Advice From Divorced People
What Is "Before-Play"?
Divorce Silver Linings
How to Get Motivated
From Our Partners
Latest Career & Finance
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds