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I'm Asking: Are Your Friends in the Same "Place" as You?

I'm Asking: Are Your Friends in the Same "Place" as You?

It's easy for you to relate to your friends on most levels while you're all still in school. After that, lives tend to progress at various paces and they may take different directions.

Some of your friends will get married, some will have kids or choose not to, a few might take on their careers with full force while others play it safe or don't work at all. Of course there are still ways to relate to friends who aren't at the same place in their lives as you, but the differences certainly become more pronounced. What's the story with your group of friends?


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WeTheLiving WeTheLiving 8 years
I must say, I'm relieved to see so many others in a similar situation as me. I'm 25, living at home, and in a job I hate. I have a bachelor's degree, but don't want to do what I studied for, and now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do (which will probably end up requiring more schooling that I don't have money for). Career-wise, my closest friends are in similar situations. They all live on their own, but even though we all have degrees, none of us really know what we want to do. One of my close friends is married and the rest of us are single. I think it helps us to be in similar situations cuz we can really understand and support each other, whereas our parents may support us, but they don't really understand how we feel about where we are. Good luck to everyone trying to find their way!
green-socks green-socks 8 years
Despite being in a relationship the longest, I was the last to be engaged of my friends. Probably we'll be the last married too, but that's because he's finishing grad school, and I am starting. Compared to some, I am "ahead" of the game in terms of career path, in that I know what I want to do, and I am working towards that with graduate school. But at the same time, I feel like grad school puts my life on hold, so a few of my friends that went directly to grad school are now graduating as I am starting. On the other hand, a few haven't yet figured out what they want to do and are in holding patterns in whatever day job they could get. We are also looking to buy a house, and we are the among the first to get around to that among my friends. And as for the baby thing? I can't even handle thinking about that right now (and I guess I'm lucky in that most of my friends aren't there yet either)! So I guess the answer is I'm averaging in the middle of the pack.
acf222 acf222 8 years
Most of my friends are older than me, but I'm the first to get engaged (some are single, some are in long-term relationships) and I just started a new job where I'm the youngest person in the company and most my colleagues have been in the industry for at least 10-15 years (and I've only been in it for 4).
sweetpeabrina sweetpeabrina 8 years
No and it's seriously bugging me. I'm divorced after 5 years no kids. They're recently married (2 years or so) and starting to have kids. I'm working towards another degree to get a better job while they're deciding to stay at home to parent. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever have anything in common again.
Renees3 Renees3 8 years
depends. most of my close friends are all totally different, so we all have drastically different goals and priorities. I'm the only one of my friends to own a home though.
carhornsinapril carhornsinapril 8 years
sort of. everyone seems to be in the same place, professionally, but i'm the first who's getting married. no babies for anyone, yet. :)
smart-blonde smart-blonde 8 years
More or less, we are, but it's hard to say because we've all chosen different paths. Many of my friends chose to have children, and I chose not to. Some took jobs in technology, others are teachers, or work in humanities-related fields. I think at the end of the day it's more important that we're all happy with what we're doing/have done with our lives, which we all are. So in that regard, I believe we're mostly in the same place.
CoralAmber CoralAmber 8 years
One friend got married relatively young and is a stay at home mom of two kids. Two others got married later, and are still around, but I've mostly lost track of them. Most everyone else got a Bachelor's. One girl is continuing on with her Master's so she can teach. Most eventually moved to the city/suburbs (Chicago) and got higher paying technical or consulting jobs. They live in condos, are married, engaged, or have long term significant others. One is working in London. I am the only one who moved back home and is taking additional classes for a different career. My long term boyfriend rents and works in IT. I feel a little behind everyone else, but I also didn't really want to move to the city.
sorrowja sorrowja 8 years
My friends and I are ALL doing well. I don't compare myself to other I just make choices which are suitable for me. I'm married so I'm able to buy a house verse my friends who are in stable relationships however aren't ready for that step. So I wouldn't say I'm ahead of them because of that, I would rather them be in a good place and be happy than trying to keep up with me or anyone else. If you keep comparing yourself to other you'll always be stuck in a rat race.
cokerad cokerad 8 years
I am the first in my group of friends to be engaged, cohabitate AND get married. Once the wedding was over, the next time we hung out at a bar like any other weekend night, it felt like a switch was flipped. I felt out of place, and no one was even hitting on guys or anything. Oh well. Time to find married friends that are NOT on the baby track!
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
Well, I am very "ahead" of my high school friends and people my age, but I am on about equal footing with my newer friends who are a good deal older than me. I guess it's a little hard to compare.
runningesq runningesq 8 years
A little "ahead of the game" if you want to look at it that way. I got married pretty young - 23 (eeeps!) - and have finished law school and am now a practicing lawyer. We'll probably be one of the first of our friends to have kids, too.
starangel82 starangel82 8 years
Most of my friends are older than me... married, with kids, without kids, working toward kids. I'm a little behind in the game, but it's okay.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
Sort of. Most of my friends are married and have kids. Since I'm choosing not to have kids, I'm just plain married, lol. But we have similar things in common and socially we're at about the same maturity level, I'd say.
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
I'd say most of my friends are in completely different places. I'm in a craptacular job that I dont' see myself staying at for any meaningful length of time. My sister is my best friend, and she's 10 years older than me, so of course a 24 year old and a 34 year old are going to be in different places. My best friend from high school, who's the same age as me, is going for a second degree, so she's not working... My other best friend is a few years younger, and close to earning her bachelor's. As for my other friends, some are married with kids and working, some are married with kids and stay at home moms, some are married starting dream careers, some are looking for work... it's a smorgasbord!
hex913 hex913 8 years
Career-wise almost all of my friends are in the same place, except one, she's still trying to figure out what she wants to do. Relationship-wise, we're all over the place, my friends range from getting married day after tomorrow, to being in no-prospect-land. I'm right in the middle, being in stable-long-term-relationship-land.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
a lot of my friends aren't married and aren't on the baby track just yet so they really aren't in the same place as me.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
My close circle and I are in different places. Generally, people in my life take the conservative, mainstream path, and I take the unbeaten path. We're all different people, and made different choices.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
Yeah I always feel kind of left behind in comparing myself to where my friends are. We used to be in the same places a short while ago, and then everything just exploded over this past year - we graduated from college, some started professional school, people moved away, people got jobs and changed careers, met new guys/girls and got in relationships...just SO FAST! Except me. They're all in relationships now and I'm not [also I never have, and everyone else HAS BEEN in one before, so this is a double blow for me], so I don't get to see them very often [because you know when you're in a serious relationship that's what comes first @_@], everybody's in school - a lot of them professional school - to go to jobs that make tons of money [my dad is also in one of those jobs already, and always compares me to my friends - "why didn't YOU go into that? You're smart enough!"]. None of them are married, though. Not even close. And only one lives at home - but she has a job. I live at home and I don't have a job. So of course, I don't make ANY money, which makes me feel very inadequate. The upside: I'll be moving for school soon, though, so maybe I'll catch up...or be too busy to even worry about how far behind I am!
Erika-Giselle Erika-Giselle 8 years
wow! i was just thinking about this question. i feel as if i am far behind my friends in several areas. their jobs are more pleasurable with higher earner potential, they are in meaningful relationships, and they don't live at i accept that our respective directions and paths in life are different, but i do wish i was where i should be for my age (26).
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