Skip Nav
The Surprising Ways Teaching Is Changing in the 21st Century
Why Resilience in the Workplace Matters — and How to Cultivate It
Don't List Your BFF, and Other Job Reference Rules

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger Says Rich Men Don't Like Rich Women

Say What? Rich Men Don't Like to Date Up

"Successful men don't date up. They are intimidated by wealthy women unless they are blue bloods. Successful men want to always take care of their women, and that means financially."

— Millionaire matchmaker Patti Stanger, a successful woman in her own right, tells the Wall Street Journal that well-off men don't want to date wealthy women, unless the women inherited that money of course. She might know a certain brand of millionaires, but I'm not buying the idea that every rich dude finds successful women intimidating.

Image Source: Getty
Steelhand Steelhand 6 years
I agree with Patti, wealthy men don't like to date up, I'm not in the millionaire group, just yet, but I will be hopefully shortly, But I think that most women don't realize how much time it takes to become wealthy, And I'd prefer that my woman spends most of her time with me, I'll take care of her.
LikeThoseShoes LikeThoseShoes 7 years
Try not to feel guilty. I'm sure he's taken note of your effort to pay. I guess some men just want their ladies to feel like queens! haha
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
That's good, cuz I don't like to date down. I'm kinda into that whole equals thing
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
Yes! You sound like you are experiencing something very similar to me. I offered to buy dinner or drinks or whatever we do next time and he just refuses. It's nice and all, but I don't ever want to feel like I am taking advantage of him. This leaves me feeling terrible. He has a superb personality and the first date we spent 4 hours talking without any awkward pauses. It was crazy! I have never had such a fantastic conversation with someone so brand new to my life. I just don't know how to get over the guilt for letting him pay all the time!
LikeThoseShoes LikeThoseShoes 7 years
mix tape - after reading this i decided to go out with the guy i mentioned. I made sure that we went to a place that was not over the top. Just a laid back reasonably priced place. It made me feel better being somewhere i knew i could afford. And reality just kinda kicked me in the butt and showed me that even with the money he's a normal person just like me. i actually had a really good time and we've made plans to hang out again. :p i offered to buy him a drink and he wouldnt let me. it felt good to make the offer.
ShaynaLeah ShaynaLeah 7 years
Not surprising - this is why in most relationships, the wife is the one who takes time off from the workforce for childcare/elder-care --- and why women are paid less then men as a result of the expectation that at some point they will drop out of the work force, making companies less likely to invest in them. It's a vicious cycle that keeps the wage gender gap open. More on the wage gender gap at Life: Forward (
chloe-bella chloe-bella 7 years
I can see where she's coming from. There was an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker where she was trying to fix up the founder of Young Fabulous & Broke, who is the most gorgeous, size 0, naturally beautiful blonde woman. Even though she had everything going for her (and a sweet personality on top of being a self-made millionare and gorgeous), she had no luck dating because all the older, successful men in LA want young 20-somethings. I think part of it is that a lot of wealthy men know that being successful takes a lot of work, and they have in their minds that they need a wife who will stay home and look after their kids while they're out working. I work with pretty much all men at my law firm, and I can say that her statement is sadly, very much true. Although oddly enough, it seems that in the legal profession, male attorneys are either married to stay at home moms or successful female attorneys - no in between.
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
That's my EXACT situation "LikeThose..." I appear to be such a feminist when I say this, but it's intimidating to have a guy pay for everything. Everything about this new guy is fantastic, except he comes from money. This is totally new for me and I don't want to feel like he is a sugar daddy lol. I like to provide for myself. How do you deal with that? How do I "repay" him? Do I just say thank you? Group Therapy question to come lol...
runningesq runningesq 7 years
I wouldn't want to be with someone who wanted to be with me SOLELY because I made less money. If that's the way the relationship worked out - he made more, than that's okay, but to limit yourself to only women who aren't "as successful" (however you define that!) isn't cool in my book. Honestly, I can't imagine being with someone who wasn't a hard worker and passionate about their job - even if I was a man. And salary =/= success.
bgorgeouss bgorgeouss 7 years
I would have to agree. Although the younger generation is edging away from this, I think most rich men today would prefer to be the primary bread winners of the house. Also, like Patti mentions, it's usually not even about the money (as a girl from a rich family is acceptable), its the hard-working self-made female millionaires that are often intimidating to these men. I have several male friends who would agree with this.
LikeThoseShoes LikeThoseShoes 7 years
I hate to say it but this actually kind of puts my mind at ease. I have been shying away from a guy simply for the fact that he makes a significant amount more than I do. That's not to say I'm not a hard worker. Believe me, I bust my bum at my job. But for some reason I just found the situation completely intimidating, almost embarrassing for me. I can provide myself with necessities... luxuries... not so much. This is a very interesting post. Thanks for sharing Tres!
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years
Men like to provide for and take care of "their woman". If she can do that herself it takes away from his provider gig. Like paying for dinner, buyng you jewlery, etc. Those are things they can do and feel manly. Ever see that Cheers episope where Woody buys his rich girlfriend a diamond pendent? She looks at it and says "oh look it's covered in sand". Ouch.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
A lot of guys are intimidated by successful women, this is probably true. But, what age group does she usually work with? Among the younger generation, women are outnumbering men in college and I don't know any young guys my age (I'm 23) who are intimidated by successful women.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
I tend to agree with her...obviously you can't generalize for ALL successful men, and I actually know a president of a successful company who makes multiple million a year who is married to a bank CFO who makes about double what he it's obviously not a fool proof concept she has, but I would tend to agree with her...hence trophy wives...
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
She has a point. Who's more likely to live something disastrous: someone with the means to fend for themselves or someone with nothing and may feel they need someone to take care of them?
Romantic Halloween Couples Costumes
Fall Date Ideas by Zodiac Sign
How Do I Prepare to Buy a House?
How to Stop Spending Money
From Our Partners
Latest Career & Finance
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds