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My Work Schedule Is Hurting My Relationship

Dear Sugar,

I have my absolute dream job. I have always wanted to work in the music industry and got my wish by landing the perfect job. My hours are quite brutal and my job can be somewhat unglamourous from time to time, but I really can't complain as the good far outweighs the bad.

I just got engaged to my high school sweetheart who I love more than anything. He is very understanding of my schedule, but lately my traveling has been excessive. When I travel for work, I can be gone anywhere from three to seven weeks at a time which is making it difficult to plan a wedding let alone find quality time to spend with my fiance. He is fed up and is pressuring me to look for a new job.

I love my fiance and can't wait to start our life together, but I love my job as well. All of my hard work is really paying off and I am being compensated quite nicely, so is there a way to find a happy medium to make us both happy? Globetrotting Gloria

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Globetrotting Gloria,

I understand your dilemma and this is a tough position to be in. Congratulations on your engagement! Since you are away so much, I am sure you feel the pull to be close to home so you can enjoy this exciting time in your life. Since there are technically no rules of engagement, it is not unheard of for one partner to travel a lot for business, but if you feel it is putting a damper on your relationship, it's time to make a change.

Does your job require year round travel or is your hectic schedule circumstantial? Once you advance in your company, will you be able to leave the traveling behind? Have you been able to talk to your boss about possibly cutting back on your time away from home? Ultimately you have to decide if this job is more important than building your future with the man you love. Hopefully you can work something out with your employer so you can have it all. Good luck.

Join The Conversation
Daisy6264 Daisy6264 10 years
You have to make that decision yourself.
cgmaetc cgmaetc 10 years
If the roles were reversed, and it was HE that had to travel so much, would he be willing to give it up for you? That's the fundamental question in this dilemma. -the ceeg
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
since you yourself stated that you love your fiance "more than anyTHING" it would seem that whatever compromise you need to make will come on the work side. that might cause resentment down the road on your part. i suggest you postpone your wedding for awhile, say a year. by that time you might be 1) fed up with the industry and ready to leave all together because of it's demands, 2) able to judge your willingness to compromise career for family, 3) better able to see how you juggle 2 masters; career and new family. remember the saying "you can't have it all"? turns out it's true.
cubadog cubadog 10 years
I do not think you should give up your dream job it will only cause resentment towards him later. You haven't said what you do within the industry but I am sure during the interview process you were made well aware of what travel was required and some thought should have been given to that when you accepted the position. I am sure you have some frequent flyer miles accumilated and have you thought about flying your boyfriend out to spend a weekend with you. I know tons of people with my company do that all the time. It maybe he is wondering what the heck is she doing when she is away. Trust me if it was him doing all the travelling he would say that is part of the job.
vanyvrgs vanyvrgs 10 years
you say he has been understanding in the past and it is just lately that the travel has been excessive. I believe you can have both and in any job once you advance enough you can send your assistant to do it. LOL. I would not choose one or the other.. I would research the possibilities of advances an amount of travel once you advance and then talk to your fiancee about what it entails and what you need from him and for how long. If he understood in the past he should understand now.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
Got to decide what's more important, 3 to 7 weeks at a time is a lot of time to be away and have anyone feel like you are love them more than your job.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
I had the same problem last year I was traveling so much and I wasn't spending hardly anytime with my hubby. Eventually when the work slowed down they sent me to another department which proves that at a job when they don't need you they won't hesitate to push you aside. Unlike true love.
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