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Nothing Is Ever As It Seems

Dear Sugar
I know that I should feel elated right now, but at the moment I am stuck in a well of jealousy and sadness. My sister-in-law is having ANOTHER baby. Her first child isn't even a year old yet, and she's already pregnant again.

They can afford another kid. She has a wealthy husband, a happy family, a big house with a white picket fence, and two new SUV's. She even had the most extravagant, princess wedding. She and her husband honeymooned in the Bahamas and it was there that he surprised her with a diamond wedding band.

She has platinum hair, a tanned body, fake boobs and she doesn't have to worry about paying bills. On top of that, she has the most wonderful personality. Her life is perfect - at least that's how it looks to me. I am jealous that she is living my dream.

I know that I am only 24 (she is 27) and that I have plenty of time to build what she has. But so far, things aren't looking up for me. I am married with a three year old son and living with my mother. We're nowhere near having enough money to buy/rent a house and at the moment, I have $150 to my name.

I've always wanted my children to be close in age, but at this rate, I won't be able to afford another child any time soon. I had a courthouse wedding and a reception at my Mom's condo. My honeymoon was a two-night stay in a hotel somewhere nearby.

I need to know what I am doing wrong with my life. Also, I like her, I don't want to be so jealous of her. I told my Mom about my sister-in-law, but she didn't even really pay any attention to what I had to say. I need some advice fast about how to cope with my feelings. Seriously Jealous Sister

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Seriously Jealous Sister
Whoa, I know that you are being honest, but your jealousy is pretty ugly. Do you wish problems for your in-laws or something? Your sister in law doesn't deserve having to be compared to all of the time by you. Where is constantly using her as a measuring stick going to get you. From where I stand you look like your life could be a lot worse. You have a husband, a child and a mother who has taken you in.

So what, your brother in law is rich. That's wonderful and hopefully they are generous to you and to your son but is all you can see in them their money? How about that they are your child's aunt and uncle and your husband's sister?

Also, don't forget that nothing ever is as it seems. Just because they aren't in a financial struggle doesn't mean that their life is perfect. Need I remind you that you have no idea what is happening behind closed doors. Think...Wisteria Lane. Albeit your sister in law and her husband may not have "privilege problems," but nevertheless, I am sure they have their own set of things they battle... everyone always does.

Just concentrate on your own life. Money does not guarantee happiness. In fact, I was just watching a special the other night about the trouble that follows those who have won the lottery. All you need to do is worry about your own family. Stop comparing her to you. Who knows where you might be in four years!

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