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Relationship Protocol: Has Monetary Stress Affected Your Relationship?

Even if the economy hasn't forced you to drastically change your lifestyle, the stress in the air is undeniable. Though 2009 is sure to be an exciting year, it'll also be one chock-full of uncertainty and apprehension. I know that money woes affect everyone differently, so tell me, has it played a role in your otherwise carefree relationship?


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bbkf bbkf 8 years
My husband and I are both very responsible with money and haven't felt any strain financially.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I've been unemployed through most of our relationship. So when I do get my hands on some cash we go out and enjoy ourselves, but if not then we just hang at home. Now that we're both unemployed we're spending more and more time just bumming around and relaxing at home. Which is fantastic, cause then we don't end up burning money we could use on something more important.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
I said other because we've had money issues in the not-so-distant past. I guess we still do but I've learned to let it go. My bf tends to be pretty frugal when it comes to spending money on going out etc, but then if he wants to do something like fantasy football or a last-minute trip w/ a friend - no problem! I attribute this to the fact that our relationship is still pretty new, and the fact that neither of us has been this serious about anyone before...he was especially independent. Fortunately we both have jobs and we both believe that spending quality time together is important, no matter what we end up doing.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
Haha, I'm in college, so everyone's pretty broke. Even if I were in a relationship, I highly doubt it'd affect anything.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
Thanks, chat. (Oh, look, three kitty avatars in a row!) I think times like these are actually important if you have to go through them--they show you whether your relationship can work in the long term, as a real partnership. But it doesn't mean I don't envy those who aren't struggling as much as we are!
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
Jude, that's super sweet. :) My boyfriend and I are long distance, so no, money hasn't really affected our relationship.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
So is your cat, lawchick ;)
lawchick lawchick 8 years
That's sweet Jude :)
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
^^ That second sentence is quite possibly the worst sentence I've ever written. Sorry.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
It's strengthened our bond actually. Not only have we learned how to enjoy our time together without having to, like, go out and spend money or whatever, but we work together and have each others' back with the problems and make an effort not to let stress or worry come between us and make us lash out at each other. So...silver lining, I guess.
jessr1214 jessr1214 8 years
i hear you guy has law school debt too and his last full time job was at a bike shop. it has gotten really frustrating because i just want him to find something he is passionate about. he really only went to law school in the first place because he didnt know what else to do after he'll say things to me like "i just dont really like working" ummm yeah. its gotten to the point where i'm not sure there's a future there at all. so yes, i would say financial stress has affected us!
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
It has a bit but nothing really extreme, more so on my end. I'm cranky more often...
lawchick lawchick 8 years
Well yeah. My husband has well over 100k in law school debt and he's been working as a waiter instead of a lawyer for over a year now. My salary is pretty good and we're not in danger of losing the house or anything, but we can't save or do anything fun like a vacation until we're both GAINFULLY employed. It's stressful for both of us, for different reasons. I'm frustrated he's not trying harder to get a good job. He's frustrated about me "nagging" him to get a good job. SIGH!!!!!!!!! So glad I have Sugar to vent on :)
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
We're ok as far as money stress goes. Bf is a seasonal worker and I'm helping to support unemployed family members. Of course we are stressed but we don't let it affect us as a couple. We don't live together or anything so it's not as much of an issue. He used to pay for dinners out and things like that now I pay my own way and we split things.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Helped break mine up...among other things. Fun.
ella1978 ella1978 8 years
It has stressed us out a lot. My BF is out of work right now. He is in retail, and we all know how that industry is faring right now. So he decided to go back to school. Well, he is very stressed about that, and about not being able to contribuite monetarily. I am from a family that dwells on how broke we are, so I talk about money, and not having enough of it alot, which had been making him feel worse. So we had a talk, I let him know that we were fine, and that we just needed to watch our spending and cut back on some of the extras. We have been taking advantages of gift cards and free movie tix that we won over the holidays to still get out and get things, but money is tight. I just hope it turns around quickly.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. My boyfriend makes very good money (I am unemployed since my move which was 2 months ago because the job market is horrific) Anyway, when we both worked we had a ton of extra money, and lived in a very expensive part of the country. It was bad because we spent a lot of money on stuff we didn't need, such as going out or getting take out nearly everyday of every week and lots of booze. So, we moved down south, because his job moved here. He gets paid the same he was when we lived up north, with a raise coming soon. It's safe to say we are "upper class" to the southern people who make a lot less money -- which lead to more stupid spending. the only thing it's really done to affect our relationship is maybe cause a little more tension because I'm not working -- and I think the BF sometimes thinks I am not trying or I am mooching off of him. Clearly we don't need the money...but when someone has a taste -- that is all they want. He got lucky, he had the opportunity. He forgets that what he has right now came to him...he didn't really try to get. =/
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
if anything, not being able to go out to dinner or on big fancy dates has allowed us time to cook together, share/exchange books, and take walks. it's been a good way to reevaluate what is important :)
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