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Should I Spend My First Post-College Year Living At Home?

Dear Sugar
I've just graduated from college and I got a great job that starts in September, however, it doesn't pay a lot. My parents have offered me my old room in my house rent free, but I don't want to feel like a total loser living at home and commuting to the city for work.

I am worried how I am going to develop a post-college social life living two doors down from my parents bedroom. Plus, if I am living under their roof, I am going to still be under their authority. I need help making this decision. Humble Hunter

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Humble Hunter
This really depends on the type of person that you are. Ask yourself what's going to stress you out more; living in a crappy apartment with at least one roommate, worrying about bills and watching what you spend on food and every other little thing - but you'll have your independence ...

Or... saving some money living at home and crashing at friend's apartments in the city on the weekends. Most likely, you won't be going out much during the week anyway if you are just starting a new job.

Set a goal for yourself and try living at home for one year. This way you have time to find an affordable apartment in a neighborhood you like and you will also have a little bit of savings so that you can really enjoy city life.

Join The Conversation
heatherp heatherp 10 years
you may want to pay your parents something - this way it does not feel like a free ride and they will not try to exercise the same control they may have when you lived with them before. IF you are miserable you cna always move out.
haze1nut haze1nut 10 years
i read the average age for kids to stop living with their parents is 26. :P i don't understand what's so wrong about you living with your parents. your parents offered you a room, and you have a job! free room and board! and FOOD! free food! you don't have to worry about utilities or cable or anything. i prefer living with my parents than being on my own. at the moment i'm spending my summer vacation with the rents. when i'm austin i have to pay $900 for a 1/1 and basically $120+ for montly utilities and not to mention food!
nicachica nicachica 10 years
i'm totally with you Yayita. i'm hispanic too (nicaragua and honduras) and i had this exact dilemna 2 years ago. my mother can be a bit overbearing but after i graduated, i moved back home for a few months to get on my feet and everything was fine with us. it actually took me about a year to find a job and 2 months after i started, i moved out. not a smart move! i ended up having to move back home after 6 months because the rent/bills/groceries and commute were too much for me. i was at a non-profit so my salary wasn't too high and i didn't have time for a second job so it was really tough. i finally had to give in and i moved back in with my mom this past january and tihngs have been fine since. the point is, it's really hard out there and you don't forsee a lot of expenses that you will encounter, so just be a little patient and stay with the folks for a little bit. it's not the end of the world! establish how you want to be treated and show that you deserve to be treated like an adult. pay your share of rent (i pay my mom a few hundred dollars as a 'contribution') and help around the house. good luck and congrats on graduating!
yayita yayita 10 years
Totaly disagree Nelson, staying home for a bit does not mean you have no self respect. You can still live you life as an adult, being home doesn't mean you lose ou personal life....Maybe you have issues.
Nelson Nelson 10 years
No way. Don't fall into the parent trap! You have a job, if you want to be an adult, then you're going to have to leave mommy and daddy. It's so obnoxious when adults continue to live with their parents. People now feel they don't have to actually start their "real" lives until they're 30 years old. Yeah, it may save you some money but you're sacrificing life experience and self respect! Just ask yourself; is it really worth it? I mean get some roommates, an extra job, anything!
Snoop3 Snoop3 10 years
Stay home for a year if you get along with your parents.
sanD13 sanD13 10 years
haha I do
yayita yayita 10 years
If your in LA, you need to go to bed chica :)
sanD13 sanD13 10 years
buenas dias to you too yayita :-)
yayita yayita 10 years
Hi there sexy SanD :) Good morning babe
sanD13 sanD13 10 years
mkat, I'm in the same situation too. I graduated last year and my job didn't pay well and my friends were all living at home as well. The only apartments in LA my friends and I can afford are crappy (as in no AC which is unbearable in the summer) and would take out an enormous chunk of our pay. On top of that I'm starting grad school so the loans just add up. I think it's smarter in the long run if you can avoid as much debt as possible. Also, the a lot of people end up hating and thus quitting their first job. You'll be thankful that you'll have the freedom to quit when you want to instead of suffering until you find another job.
mkat mkat 10 years
First off, congrats on graduating! Second, I have to say, I graduated more than a year now. I had the same problem as you when I first graduated. But, my parents convinced me to stay and with good reasons too. The main point is, why move out when I can be at home and not have to worry about bills, food..etc. Coming out of college, everything is fresh and new, not to mention stressful. Staying at home...if you are on good terms with your family... will most likely take part of the stress away. Like others have said, when you are ready to move out, you will be in better place finanically compared to those who moved out as soon as they got out of college. We are young, there's no need to rush out there. :) Good luck!
karmasabitch karmasabitch 10 years
Versailles I completely agree with you.. was just going to say that actually. There's nothing wrong with living at home for a while and saving some money, and if you're on good terms with your parents and they're offering a place to stay, why not? You don't have to sign a lease and nobody is forcing you to stay, so whenver you're ready, and for whatever reason, you can leave. Live at home for a while and see how it goes, get used to work life and the "real world" and see what happens. My family moved to Warsaw right whem my brother graduated from Virginia Tech, and he moved in with them for a while. He had a full time job teaching and he helped around the house, with the food bill, cleaning, etc. and pulled his own weight. I think in the long run he enjoyed it as he wasn't making too much money initially and was able to save and not stress too much.
alegna alegna 10 years
haha i agree with you yayita... i'm asian and i think it's completely understandable at least from a cultural stand point. honestly i dont see anything wrong with it especially if your parents are offering and if your job doesn't pay a lot. i say stay at your parent's home for a few months, save up, and then move out so you can live comfortably without as many money worries. i think a few months of complete freedom is something worth sacrificing in your situation.
wynter wynter 10 years
My brother in law did it after he got out of college, and he was able to save a bit of money. He paid her like $50/mo "rent" to use towards groceries and electric/water bills, but he paid his own snacks, cokes, etc. MIL also quit cleaning up after him, so he was responsible for his own bathroom, laundry, etc.. It worked out for him. He ended up living there until he got married at couple of years ago (at 25). Oh, and MIL saved his "rent" money and gave it back to him so that added to his savings too. She never wanted it, and he gave it to her so he wouldn't feel like he was mooching off her. Personally, as much as I love my parents, I couldn't live with them again, lol Good luck with whatever you decide.
versailles versailles 10 years
well, the thing is, you don't have to sign a lease with your try living with them for a month or two and if you hate it, you can always start apartment hunting. enjoy the free rent (and food) and the time to save $$$ and pay off loans while you still can. if needed, sit down with your parents and establish rules so you don't drive them crazy and vice versa.
yayita yayita 10 years
Wow Twinkle, I guess you are the responsoble one now LOL
SailorMarie SailorMarie 10 years
As long as your parents are reasonable people, I would stay with them and save save save!!! It will give you an advantage once you move out and make life less stressful...your parents just want to help!
yayita yayita 10 years
Now thats bad, quite a mooch! This is not acceptable and your sis needs to shape up so she can have a stable life. Did you mind it during that time?
yayita yayita 10 years
Totally agree, as long as they pull their weight ofcourse Whats KWIM?
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Saving up is one thing. But not helping ur parents and even having to be on there car insurance is another. There should be a point where u spread u wings and fly is all I think. I would def let my kids come back home. Even if it was till they got married but theyd be helping out with dinner or bills little things like that. KWIM?
yayita yayita 10 years
Thats a dif case At0x, Im sure that if your kids just needed a bit more time to get settled you wouldnt have a problem with them staying 6 months to a year until they saved up.
yayita yayita 10 years
LOL Jenna, I am 100% Dominican, although I've lived in NY since I was 4 and am very americanized in some aspects. I just don't see the point in trying to leave home so soon just because it's what your peers do and what society dictates I feel people mature at different rates and kids should not have to feel pressured into leaving if they are not ready. When I become a parent my kids are welcomed to come home anytime they need help. I rather they be with me than elsewhere living like crap :)
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
I suppose as long as you are helping out that its ok. I see that alot of cultures support that. Ive first hand seen a 25 year old mooch off his momma and then do it to his brother just because he didnt want to live on his own. These are supposed to be there golden years where they are finally able to worry just a little less and not have to fully support u financially. So try to more take care of them instead of them take care of u,
JennaV JennaV 10 years
yayita...LOL! I am half Panamanian and I know it is the culture to live at home until you are married. I am estranged from that side of the family but I know my dad's brothers and sisters pretty much did just that. I know it is not so much nowadays that they do that, but i found it intersting that you commented on it.
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