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What's Your Most Outrageous Work Excuse?

What's Your Most Outrageous Work Excuse?

Of course there are the typical excuses for being late to work: car trouble, unreliable public transportation, malfunctioning alarm clock, curling iron burn. The excuses for missing work are sometimes just as predictable, but they also have the potential to be a bit more creative. What's the most inventive excuse you've given for being late or missing work?


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isobelstevens isobelstevens 9 years
I had an employee once tell me that his pittbull had swallowed his car keys.
Martini-Rossi Martini-Rossi 9 years
I dont need excuses. I take my sick days, personal and holidays. If im going to be late - I call in and let them know.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I have used the cable guy, the pest control guy, I have used my hubby being slow in the mornings. Sometimes i just cant get it together and i tell her the truth, "boss i am just running slow, be there soon!" I have heard excuses, being a former retail manager, that made me laugh. like: "i am having menstrual issues" "I am peeing out of my butt" assuming that they have the runs right? " The power went out last night and my alarm didnt go off"
aistea311 aistea311 9 years
I used to have really bad tonsils so whenever I woke up, my throat sounded like I had the worst cough, like laringitis. So one saturday I had to work in the evening but a friend was in town so I put my alarm on for early in the morning when my throat was at its worst and called my boss and since my throat was so horse he thought I was really sick and said not to come in. I got to stay home and enjoy a weekend for once! (I miss not having my tonsils sometimes)
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
"Little green men turned off my alarm when I was asleep!" I really used it. But I think (hope) they knew i was kidding. lol
new new 9 years
When I was 16 or something I had a job in weekends at a supermarket. I had promised my friend I would accompany her to her Idols (you call it American Idol, I believe) audition. we were there at 2 in the afternoon, but it took soooo long that by the time she was finished I was already late for work, my boss had called my mom several times and when I finally got home thinking it was too late to go back to work, he called and said I had to go anyway, I had to work till 12 at night. I was so pissed.
nicachica nicachica 9 years
this past Halloween, i told my work that i wouldn't be in until noon the next day to "wait for the cable guy." i then proceeded to go out on Halloween night (it was a Tuesday this year) and get kinda trashed. i was able to sleep in and i got to work at noon and acted huffy because "the cable guy didn't show." the even better part? that allowed me to stay home for the day when the cable guy really did come a few weeks later. so bad of me, but ummm...oh well. and Wackdoodle, what a crazy story! talk about a doubting thomas...
JennyJen2 JennyJen2 9 years
Once when I lived in the city there was a bum sleeping in the entry way to the apartment building an dI would not open the door until I knew the cops had come to remove him. It was a true story and I felt bad because it was cold out, but my fear was that it was 6 AM and no one was around and the guy could have attacked me and no one would have ever known. :true:
wren1 wren1 9 years
Once I was late to work because a huge truck was double-parked on the street and I couldn't get my car out of my parking spot. Luckily a coffee shop was on the corner so I sat outside and had a nice, relaxing wait. It was great! :)
wackdoodle wackdoodle 9 years
I'm telling you chicken pox and adults do not mix - silent vamp. The pox were everywhere and I mean everywhere. And I keep meeting other adults people in their 30s like me who never had CPs when they were kids. I'm like please get the vaccine. As you get older it gets more deadly. I still get boosters for other childhood diseases because I don't think I had any of them and I don't want to call an employer and say "I have measles or mumps." Since their are parents who don't immunize out there it leaves me open to catch it too.
Knight-Who-Says-Ni Knight-Who-Says-Ni 9 years
Wackdoodle, that story is insane!
tee0206 tee0206 9 years
wackdoodle, wow, that's awful!! Once, I was late because a mattress had fallen of a truck and was blocking two lanes of traffic during the morning rush on I-35 in Austin. That wasn't fun. Another time, Porta-Potties had fallen off a truck, blocking a lane of traffic.
wackdoodle wackdoodle 9 years
I have never had a fake excuse. I had an excuse that an employer thought was fake and he demanded that I prove it. I caught chicken pox at 18 from my 3 year old nephew. I had never had them before. He blindly believed that everyone caught them when they were a kid. Nope, not I. My mom was dead so I couldn't ask her if I had them before and my dad didn't know since he was active military and always off doing military things - my siblings are much older so they didn't remember if I had gotten chicken pox before. And chicken pox as an adult aren't cute - they are huge weepy blisters not little red dots. Because I had missed the NKOTB concert ticket sale that I was suppose to work, my boss was pissed. My boss demanded that I come in or he would fire me (I was an Asst manager)- I had to wait for clearance from the County Health Dept first to make sure I wasn't contagious. I threw a towel over my head and my sister (who was pissed and had been arguing with my boss for days) drove me to the store. She guided me in under the towel. I wanted to go to the back room to show him privately but he demanded I show everyone my fake chicken pox. I pulled off the towel off my head and pulled up my t-shirt and pants legs-huge pus filled blisters everywhere. I got two weeks off and a sincere apology and a temporarily ruined complexion.
SkinnyMarie SkinnyMarie 9 years
Masqueraded - Trader Joe's Sushi does sound lethal.
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 9 years
Ugh, since I started my new job I've had to call out a couple of times. Most of the time, "The daycare son is sick and I have to take him home..." but that's usually AFTER I get to work. Couple of times I've had to call out sick the time I ate some sushi from Trader Joe's? Lethal.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I know what you mean Foxie. I never miss work either if I do it is a planned day. God I am such a dork.
foxie foxie 9 years
I'm not late to work ever. I'm such a square.
SkinnyMarie SkinnyMarie 9 years
I have actually called my boss and told her I would be late because my mother in law kept calling late that night. my fiance was coming home from the outdoor hockey game on new years and got stuck in the snow and traffic. She called me every fifteen minutes until 1:30 when he got home. I swore I could have choked her. I get pissy with 0 sleep.
KrisSugar KrisSugar 9 years
time at the embassy...that is HILARIOUS! i am just honest. like look, i had to get coffee. and my boss knows that i really DO have to get coffee. if i don't have it, i'm horrid. and the coffee at work sucks. so i'm just honest.:)
vouninou vouninou 9 years
As I'm a citizen from another country, I sometimes "really need to spend hours (again) at my embassy to fix something about papers"
biggiefootie biggiefootie 9 years
i was stuck behind a funeral procession... For and hour! It sounded rediculous, but it actually happened!!!
cassedy04 cassedy04 9 years
whiplashgirlchild, i'm with you - my car kept stalling last winter, and i kept running late because of it. but the one day i just didnt want to go in and told them that it didnt even start that day, and since the stupid car had a history of acting up, they didnt even doubt it.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
Hmmm I keep it simple...
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
Well on Sunday I really didn't want to go into my 2nd job so I told them my other job asked me last second to drive out to another city for an emergency meeting and that I had to do this for them because this was my career. They were prtety pissed, but I have been working SO much, I needed that little break.
lawyerjen lawyerjen 9 years
My employee forgot his deodorant- he went back home to put it on. Given his personality I believe him...
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