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Why Women Prefer Working With Men

Why Women Can't Stand Working With Women

When I asked you if you preferred working with women or men, an overwhelming 62 percent of you said that men are preferable, 19 percent voted for women, and the other 19 percent of you said you don't have a preference. Your comments described women as catty, ultra-competitive, overly-sensitive, nasty, gossips, back-stabbers, guilty of emotional favoritism, cliquey, and fake. So how come we cherish our girlfriends in our personal lives, but can't stand working with our own sex? To see my take on the subject just

It has surprised me how much I've enjoyed working with women now that I'm surrounded by them — the financial world I lived in was heavily dominated by males, and the people were one of the best parts about the job. And I must say, men have their own catty, gossipy, manipulative tendencies but we seem to look past their faults when it comes to comparing genders in the workplace. And while some women surely overcompensate for feeling insecure and act out with all of the qualities you named, I think we're all guilty of seeking out the flaws in other women in a way that we never do with men. And since we're all busy finger-pointing, we're all a bit insecure — isn't that our problem?

I'm not talking about shallow insecurities here, because this kind of insecurity is deeply rooted in the way many women are positioned in the work place. With the lack of female role models and women in charge, we're presented with situations that say the space for us is limited. And that makes us feel competitive, take on a hard attitude, and immediately judge what seems to be our obvious opponent — other women.

So, what's the solution? I wish I knew. Hopefully, women will begin to feel secure in the workplace so we can stop picking on each other. A little healthy competition is great, but treating each other so badly that we can't stand working in the same space isn't doing us any good.

Join The Conversation
CillaB8 CillaB8 9 years
I work in a male-dominated industry but in a role typically filled by a female. I don't feel any competitiveness with my fellow female co-workers, but I definitely have an easier time working with the men here. I have very close female friends, and all those things I prefer in a friend like a more emotional-driven perspective, I find frustrating in the workplace. I am happy to listen to a friend vent out her boyfriend troubles over dinner, but at work, I just want to conectrate on getting my job done. I don't have this problem with the men I work with. I think there are expections to every rule though.
jimmalou1978 jimmalou1978 9 years
I work in a very female-dominated profession (nursing), and women are the WORST! Female nurses are horrible. Nurses have a reputation for eating their young, anyway. When I first started nursing, the older nurses were horrible to me! I have no idea why this is such a problem, but I'd much rather work at a place with some males around. It tends to calm the women down a little, or at least I can have a non-catty conversation with one of the male nurses!
mondaymoos mondaymoos 9 years
I've worked both with large groups of women and large groups of men. Now I'm in an office environment with primarily women, whereas in the service, I worked with men exclusively. I have to admit, I found the males MUCH more catty, backstabbing and gossipy than the women. Usually the office gossip around here consists of "Damn, she's being a bitch today!". With the men it was all about who was boffing who (true or not), and how they can make everyone else look bad so they can get a good eval. I think it has a lot more to do with the maturity of the people you work with than their sex.
Cycy Cycy 9 years
Oh yes @Sunshowers83. I had a "friend" like this who I dropped like a hot bun last fall. We had fallen out a year prior to that when out of the blue she came back into my life with issues and wanted someone to listen. I did that, as well as took a step further, all in the spirit of being forgiving and kind-hearted. My girlfriends and I were going on holiday when one of the girls had to drop the plans. So in good will I invited her. Wrong move. It was a mess, she was childish, she was petty, she was the baby in the group, everyone had to take consideration of her, go to the sight-seeing places she wanted to go to (this was in Barcelona); She "fell sick" twice during the 4-day trip to garner sympathy points and on the last day I called her out on her behaviour. She proceeded to tell me that this was precisely the reason why she did not have female friends, they are petty - guys understand her so well! Good Lord, I was so over her. I told her in very plain language that her not having female friends is good reason for her to go home and cry her head off, coz it's the saddest thing in the world, and nothing to be proud of. Sheesh, the way she said it it was like a trophy!
sunshowers83 sunshowers83 9 years
Maybe this is because it's only in recent years that women have even had much opportunity to compete against each other for high-powered positions. Men have been doing this for so long that they're used to it and learned how to deal with it. I really feel sorry for women who say they have few or zero female friends. Maybe they should examine their own role in this situation before alienating an entire gender. I really find it hard to believe that nice girls are so scarce, because it has never been a struggle for me to develop and maintain female friendships. I also have a lot of fun being one of the guys, but nothing can beat an awesome group of girlfriends. I realize this is only my personal experience, but I've known a few girls who claimed not to get along well with other girls because they couldn't stand the cattiness - ironically, these girls were usually the ones starting all the trouble. Often, the reason why they had no female friendships was precisely because they were incapable of maintaining any. It was weird... they'd backstab and gossip-monger, and make passes at other girls' boyfriends, and then cry victim when the backlash came. You could usually find them soaking up sympathy from a group of guys by complaining about how annoying girls are, and bragging about how they aren't like that. They'd also claim that they had no female friends because other girls were too "threatened" by them. Anyone else have experience with girls like these?
magickalrealism magickalrealism 9 years
"o how come we cherish our girlfriends in our personal lives, but can't stand working with our own sex? " You're assuming that we all do. I don't. I do have some female friends, but they are rarities among their own gender, because the same backbiting, bullying baloney takes place whether at work or at home. Men may try to manipulate, but mostly, they're just straightforward in all their motivations, even if the motivations aren't exactly positive.
okmaebe okmaebe 9 years
I work with an all female staff of between 30 (core staff) and 60 women (seasonally), and they are, by far, the kindest, smartest, and gentlest group of people I've ever worked with. They're brilliant, and so much fun to work with, each day I go to work is a pleasure. In the year and a half I've worked with my company, only one woman has been a trouble-starter. It makes me feel more confident about the young women emerging into the workforce as they learn and grow, challenging standards and resetting the bar of excellence every day. I'm very lucky.
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
I think it goes far deeper than the workplace. It's evolution. Women have to compete with other women to get the best male sperm. Men have to compete with other males to get the best female egg. Men still compete, just not with us, which is why we find less fault with them. It's really all about ego. Once you let it go and stop acting like cave men & women, you'll find people a lot less irritating.
will205 will205 9 years
love the dreamgirls reference - girl groups never last forever!
megnmac megnmac 9 years
I think there is casual sexism (something I linked to from here yesterday)... and we're all still figuring out how we fit in together. What can be said - men choosing to avoid subjects is special treatment, but then on the other hand it is hostile to joke about women in the office and scandalous insinuations. Even women with women... and I do agree sometimes when there's a few of us ladies, that sharing the spotlight makes us competitive for what feels like a limited number of positions for us. hmcmcd - EXACTLY my thoughts on how people just find women's problems amusing and don't take some of the awful things that are done seriously. There is this 'there, there' attitude when women aren't getting along, as though it is just little girls. There was a situation at my work where one of the women was getting treated TERRIBLY by another woman she was having to work with (career wrecking terribly), and it was making her life absolute hell. And everyone had this attitude that it was just women being catty... until they paid attention, listened and realized what was actually going on (there was an absolute paper trail, facts were facts, and it is still being sorted out). I think if we all try to make sure we're good and supportive when we can be, and are strong examples of sane/normal women in the world, we're doing what needs to be done... and teaching people how to be.
scorpstar77 scorpstar77 9 years
I agree with Marci - it's definitely a corporate culture sort of thing in my opinion. My current office is staffed entirely by women - 18 of us - and my boss is the owner of the company... Honestly, it's great, but I think that has as much to do with the women we hire as anything else. We're very careful to examine personality when hiring, to make sure that, in addition to having the talent and experience to do the job, the person is a good fit. And yes, we do interview men for jobs as well, but so far the best qualified candidates for the jobs we've needed to fill have been women (and most people in our industry are women, so that makes sense). Anyway - I think an all-woman crew can be great, but I think the surrounding culture has to be built right with ANY mix of genders.
penpaperprincess penpaperprincess 9 years
Terrific subject, so happy to see it being addressed! It makes me so disheartened that women treat one another and think of one another that way. But try working with gay men... not much better, ha ha! :) I also have female co-workers who do everything but consider themselves misogynists, because they accept the catty, bitchy backstabbing as "typical" and unchangeable behavior. Maybe the modeling needs to start with the younger ones. 10 year-olds think its acceptable these days to call their female peers "bitches" and "sluts" if they dare threaten their stronghold, be it on the playground or when it comes to their pinup crushes. Sisterhood needs to start standing for something!
freegracefrom freegracefrom 9 years
It's probable that I've just been unlucky to find myself working in such a negative atmosphere and maybe it's just a coincidence that it is staffed entirely by women. Regardless, I'm not taking that risk again though. I will continue to seek out jobs where my coworkers are varied in both background, race AND gender.
hmcmcd hmcmcd 9 years
Great post! It has been so hard for me to explain to my husband why women are terrible to work with. He actually thinks it is funny how we all don't get a long. And I think that is part of the problem, the male management looks at it with amusement rather than stomping it out. They would never accept men to behave this way, but they almost expect this caddy behavior from women and they actually joke about.
else411 else411 9 years
This is an excellent post, and really raises some great points. I've worked both environments and for me I don't have a gender preference, just who I will get along with better. I do think that all professional women should find a mentor, if possible. I was lucky to find my mentor, who helped me always try to see the other's prespective.
Dana18 Dana18 9 years
I is very hard working with woman sometimes. I have a handful of good women friends. They are real and down to earth. I don't have time for too-face people, who are catty and gossip about each other.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
I think this is women in general. How many females will look good, honestly, just to impress/compete with other females.
Marci Marci 9 years
I think it depends a lot on the company culture towards women. Some companies create an environment where women feel they have to knock down walls and walk all over each other to get recognition, and that sets up a situation for the women to compete and not get along. Other companies foster the natural way that women deal with each other and make it work for them from a business standard. So a lot of has to do with where you are.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
Your right true.
SugarKim4203 SugarKim4203 9 years
I actually love my female co-workers. I've worked at a couple different jobs where my boss was female and I felt like I was more understood than with other jobs.
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
Dont forget about how they tell you every little minor detail in your life, like about their cat's digestive problems! So annoying!
bellaressa bellaressa 9 years
Great Post and right on Savvy! The last position I was in, the woman senior VP told me it took her 27 years to make it in the position and she wasn't going anywhere (it's been her first and only job) and she would fire anyone who didn't respect her position and tried to rise above theirs. Scary and this was a non-profit.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
Yeah another good post. :) I personally have more male friends than women.
princessjaslew princessjaslew 9 years
this is a great post. the field that i'm in is beginning to experience a surge in women entering the field but there are sub-areas heavily dominated by women, and some that are lacking. i've found myself, in recent years, to avoid those sub-fields that are women dominated because i dont' seem to work very well with them. yet, most of my closest friends are women.
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