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Would You Borrow or Lend Money to Your Significant Other?

Most of you agree that lending money to friends is a bad idea, but what about lending money to your significant other? As we all know, times are tough — even for celebrities — so it makes sense to ask the person closest to you for help if need be. But is it a surefire way to jeopardize your relationship? And if you lent it, would you expect it back? Some of you might be in this predicament right now, so tell me how you feel about lending/borrowing money from your significant other.


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sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
Sad & Confused - you need to get it out of your head that this guy is "good" but all of the evidence points to that he isn't. I know you don't want to disrupt your son's life but soon it will become out of hand and you don't want your son to see mummy being hit, do you? You need to cut your losses and run. If he has a gambling problem then you are likely never to see your money again and he likely has no intention of ever being able to pay you back. Unless he gets that "one big win..." in which case he'd just spend it all on the tables again. He needs to get professional help and until he admits he has a gambling problem he is ALWAYS going to be borrowing money off you like this. Take your son and LEAVE.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
Absolutely. Me and my boyfriend swap and change our money around all the time. He is the earner (I am a postgraduate student on a bursary income of PITTANCE) and supports us. When he needs money I'll see what is in my account but he is going to be the reason why I get through my MA. I don't hesitate to send him cash and he doesn't hesitate to return it.
cptnruthless cptnruthless 8 years
It depends on what it is, and the status of the relationship. If I just started dating the guy... no way. My boyfriend of over a year though (who lives with me), totally fine. Sometimes he'll ask for me to wait a couple days before cashing the check for his half of the rent, and other months he'll pay for a big expense and I'll just deduct it from his half of the rent. No biggie :)
sonya-ina sonya-ina 8 years
We're married, so there's no "lending" -- his money is my money and my money is his money. Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but we have a joint bank account and no one's keeping track of who's whose.
geebers geebers 8 years
I agree with clarabelle. If some guy tried to separate my money and his money after a serious relationship (living together, engaged, married) then I would walk out. I am very good with my finances and I know I would never expect someone to help me out unless it was really dire.
clarabelle98 clarabelle98 8 years
If you're talking about just a casual dating relationship, then no. If you're talking a long term committed relationship, the answer is Maybe. However, if you're talking a married couple, this is utterly ridiculous. When you're married you share everything, and if the other person wants or needs something, you work TOGETHER to get it. There's none of this "That's my money!" crap. That, in my opinion, is what gets SO many marriages in trouble. Selfishness. If you're going to be married you need to be prepared to share just about everything.
KJ1185 KJ1185 8 years
I've done it...a little here and there and he always returns the favor. No big deal. Neither one of us are strapped for cash at the moment so it's simply when one of us doesn't have money on us and the other one does. Not a problem.
wren1 wren1 8 years
We've both done it for each other every so often. It's never been more than a couple hundred dollars max. and has never caused any problems at all, thank goodness.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
*series of months..where is that edit feature in the new upgrade?
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
Last year, I loaned a large sum of money over a serious of months to a man who was a friend, but I ended up caring for so much more. I really believed in him, and I know he owes his current success to my help, both financial and emotional. He is currently with someone else, and having success, and I don't see him or talk to him often. Though he talks about how much he appreciates my help, I can't help but feel totally taken advantage of. It may not be right to feel that way, because we were just friends, but it still hurts. I think my friendship was important for him, but not important to him. I doubt I will see a dime of that money anytime soon. I learned my lesson...I am never helping anyone like that again in my life.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
We give each other small amounts here and there but I hate giving or taking loans. My family constantly borrows money from me and doesn't repay me so I have become quite bitter towards money. It can def put a huge strain on any relationship. However, my bf and I have each others back when it comes down to it and we would help out the other with money if needed.
green-socks green-socks 8 years
I've had a job while my boyfriend has been in grad school, so I tend to spot him more right now. He's graduating and I'm going into grad school, so for the next few years he'll be paying me back by paying more around the house.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 8 years
Uh, yeah. He's my husband. Ride and die together.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
Before we got engaged, my husband and I talked about what debt we had and I told him that I had a credit card that had a $1500 balance on it that I used to buy books in college. I told him I was planning to pay it off once I had a job, but he offered to pay it off so I wouldn't have to pay the interest anymore. I ended up not taking the loan and just paying the bill off in full when I got my job, but I know that if he had been in my situation, I probably would have offered to help him out as well.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
Yep I don't see an issue with it personally, esp since we've been together 5 yrs. If it was like a year together or less probably not.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
My husband and I, even back when we were dating, have always taken care of each other financially. We've just always had that mindset of "What's mine is yours" and vice versa.
greenapples1987 greenapples1987 8 years
i live with my boyfriend who makes the money in our household while i am a full time student in college. he takes care of everything, and gives me money for shopping, groceries and everything else we need.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
It depends on the guy and the relationship. I took on more of the financial burden when we moved in together (they ended up requiring first and last months rent when we had only budgeted for first) because I had the "extra" money in my account. He paid me back as soon as he could and in full. He's a trustworthy guy and would never take advantage of me, and I know he'd spot me if I was in a bind. As for some of my exes - NO WAY!!!
Frenched Frenched 8 years
My SO and I are married and we have to resort to this ocassionally. Hey, it happens! We're pretty good about paying each other back - if we can't do it with money, we'll pay back with something else, like a chore or something. :)
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
no. only if i was married to the guy and knew he didnt have any major money problems. i dont even loan to friends. why have the hassle of getting your money back when you can just say no. money is a personal thing and not to mess with relationships.
hope2be hope2be 8 years
In my experience, my ex didn't pay me back, not even a penny for all the things and money I've loaned him. Sure, he always said how much he appreciated my help and promised to high heaven that he'd pay me back. Again and again, he always sounded so sincere and honest but never seen a dime out of him and breaking up with him cost me a laptop and a really nice bike beside all those moolah. But for me, it's worth losing those, because it taught me a lesson to not repeat the same mistakes. My fiancee doesn't ask to lend money, thank goodness for that. Will I loan him? Only if he signed a promissory note. But when we're married, what's his is mine and vice versa. :p
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
If we're married, I would. Currently we travel a lot and attempt to split everything fairly, and even though he's said he'd be happy spotting me if I hit a rough patch with money, I'm uncomfortable with that. My ex wasn't shy about my lending him huge sums of money for the rent and bills and not paying me back for years - I'm never getting stuck in that again. Being married is totally different because I think when you marry, you're agreeing to take on financial problems together.
luna08 luna08 8 years
I've definitely adopted the philosophy that if I can't afford to give it as a gift, than I "don't have it". For me this has really worked. I don't explain, I just say "I can't; I don't have it."
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