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You Asked: He Broke Off Our Engagement

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years and our relationship took off quickly. I am not a materialistic person, but he goes out of his way to pamper me and buy me things — I think he thinks it's what makes me happy. I've told him that all I need is his love, but he still continues to shower me with gifts. We have wonderful times together, we share the same sense of humor and I love him, but sometimes I feel like we aren't on the same page. Despite all that, we got engaged on our one year anniversary.

On my birthday, we had a little argument and completely out of the blue, he decided it wasn't going to work out with us, just two days before he made me promise to never leave him. I feel things really changed for us when we became engaged — his idea not mine — and he says he needs some time because he doesn't know how he feels. What am I supposed to do? I love him and I miss what I thought we had. Any suggestions? Taken Aback Tanya

To see DearSugar's answer


Dear Taken Aback Tanya,

I don't blame you for being taken aback, I would be too, but it sounds like you two haven't been on the same page for quite some time. While that is no reason for him to spring a breakup on you out of the blue, it might have been a blessing in disguise.

His actions throughout your relationship make me think he's insecure, so could he have broken off the engagement because he thought you might beat him to the punch? From what you've told me, it sounds like you have been settling. While I don't doubt you miss him, I think you should ask yourself why you miss him. Is it because he provides for you or makes you feel safe, or is it because you are truly, madly in love with him? If your answer is the latter, I say fight for him but if it's the former, mourn this relationship as the loss that it is and move on so you can find someone you truly love. Good luck.


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