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You Asked: How Do I Forgive My Husband for This??

Dear Sugar--

What would you do if your husband spent $1,400.00 of your joint money that was to be used to pay off our credit card debt on a stripper at a club for 3.5 hours!? I am not anti-strip clubs by any means, but the fact that he used our money makes my blood boil. I love my husband and this was an isolated incident, but I am just sick with anger and I don't know what to do with it. Please help! -- Pissed off Pamela

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Pissed off Pamela --

Wow, I have to tell you I would be beyond pissed too. $1400.00 is a lot of money to waste at a strip club especially when it's shared money meant to go towards your bills. Get your anger out and let him have it - tell him how inappropriate it was to spend money and how it made you feel to know he spent it on other women. Just because you aren't anti-strip clubs it doesn't mean you don't have a right to be furious. There's a time and a place for them but clearly this instance wasn't the time or the place.

If you weren't in credit card debt, I would tell you to go out and treat yourself to a new, expensive handbag and ask him how it feels to see where you are spending your joint money. Since that obviously isn't the responsible thing to do in this situation, you might want to think about opening a separate bank account. If you put your portion of expense funds into an account that he doesn't have access to, the next time he has a wild hair he will only be able to waste his own money - not the both of yours. Even if this was an isolated incident, I think it's important for your husband to know there are consequences to his actions. I wish you luck Pamela and hopefully your husband has learned his lesson.


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