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You Asked: How Do I Kick Out My Roommate

Dear Sugar,

I live with my cousin, and moving in with her was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. At first when we sat down and talked about living together, it sounded it like it would work. We came to an understanding about how we would live and things started off well. But then she quit her job, without having a new one lined up, so I've had to fill in the gap in rent that she couldn't afford. Finally another month went by, she managed to get a job, but she still couldn't afford the rent. She wanted to just pay it late, but I told her it would look bad for both of us, and she'd end up with the late fee. So I offered to pay her rent again, but only on the condition she pay me back as soon as possible including the late fee.

She finally got paid, but when she went to pay me back, she only gave me one month's rent, not including the late fee. I tried to rationalize with her about why I should get that money, but she refused. I've hit my limit now and I want her out! She can't even take care of herself and she's completely self-absorbed. I've told her to leave, but she thinks I'm joking. How do I get her to go?

— Roommate Blues Rae

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Roommate Blues Rae,

Regardless of her choosing to pay back the late fee or not, it's clear your roommate is only concerned with what works for her. She's obviously taking advantage of you, and you're right, she needs to move out before you end up losing anymore money or permanently damaging your relationship. If she really won't budge on her own accord, go back and check out your lease agreement. If it only has your name on it, then paying the rent is 100 percent your responsibility and you'll have to force her to leave. It's harder when you're dealing with family, but if I were you I would let her know that you will get higher authority involved if necessary.

If you both signed separate lease agreements for each share of rent, then the circumstances are different. In that case, she's solely responsible for her half. If she doesn't pay her rent, your landlord will have to deal with the situation. Of course, you can always move out. I know that's not the answer you want to hear, but in the end, knowing you don't have to deal with her may make the stress of looking for a new place worth it. And remember, if you ever have to work out some kind of financial deal with a friend or family member, always get it in writing.


Join The Conversation
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
Talk to her as an adult and if she won't move out, pack her shit up put it outside the door then have your landlord change the keys. Or you can always do what Chandler did on Friends with his psycho roommate while Joey was his own place. :)
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i don't get why you had to pay a late fee if you covered her rent for her...are you just charging her this late fee as a type of interest for bailing her out? it makes no sense...maybe you're the bad roomate
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
living with someone and sharing expenses with them is a tough thing, and i think that the only thing that you can do since she's being unreasonable about the rent is to be frank and just let her know that either she moves out or you will go to the landlord and break the lease. i think that she needs to realize that you really did help her out when she didn't have money and she couldn't pay the rent and that put you out financially. i don't know if she realizes what it would have been like for her if roles were reversed, and by the sound of it, it doesn't seem like she really cares to put herself in your shoes. just let her know that it's a tough thing since you are related, but that you need to do what's best for you and that means that she needs to move out. you'd rather find someone that's willing to play by the right rules, or you're willing to live alone and have the larger expense but to have someone who's taking advantage of you - that's just not fair and you don't need to have to deal with that at home. there are enough stresses in life from work etc that you should be happy and relaxed and in an equal environment once you come home.
MissJules5x MissJules5x 8 years
oh honey, you are getting completely taken advantage of and she thinks that its your obligation to put up the money when she's irresponsible and doesn't have it just because you are "family". its terrible. i would explain to her that you don't have the money to keep footing the bill when she doesn't have the money to pay the rent, and also it's not your responsibility to have to pay late fees when she is the one that is paying late NOT YOU. i would totally make her feel bad about the fact that she is going to ruin your credit, and also the fact that you don't have the money to keep loaning her. If this doesn't get through to her (in the form of an apology and also the owed money) i would either: move out, or tell her that she needs to go and that this is clearly not working out. i wouldn't do it on bad terms because you are family and that can get messy but i would tell her that the living situation just isn't working out for you anymore.
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 8 years
You have to tell her straight up, as soon as possible, that you're not okay with the money situation and she needs to move out. You should probably do it a little bit after to two pay rent next so she'll still have a month to get a new place and you'll have that time to find a roommate. If it gets relly bad and you really NEED to, talk to her parents. But make sure it's only as a last resort because you do not want to get your family feuding.
Marseeah Marseeah 8 years
If both of your names are on the lease, then you are usually each solely responsible for the whole amount if one of you doesn't pay. So her not paying her rent, unless is specifically says that you have no more liability than your portion of the rent, will reflect poorly on both your credit rating -- and your ability to live in that apartment!
nicky360 nicky360 8 years
I was in almost the exact situation (without being related). Because I made more money than my roommate, I first went to the leasing office with a pay stub and they happily drew up papers to remove my exroomie from the lease. I then went to her and gave her two options: either I leave and you take over the lease or you leave. She couldn't afford to pay so she left. No matter what you do (stay or separate the lease) the dynamic has already changed. So now you must decide whose sanity is worth more to you- your cousin's or yours.
TheMissus TheMissus 8 years
Just tell her parents (since she is your cousin) that she is being irresponsible. Get her SHAMED into behaving like an adult. You have asked her to act as an adult... And she is refusing. Get her shamed.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Im thinking that you should tell her sternly because of her financial issues, that she should look for a new apartment. Im sure the landlord would probably rather have someone who can pay rather then someone who can't. Then take it with him and the building management.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
You tell her very sweetly... 'You don't have to find a home...but you gots 'ta get the h@ll out of here!'
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