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You Asked: I'm Getting Depressed About Being Unemployed

You Asked: I'm Getting Depressed About Being Unemployed

Dear Sugar,

I just finished my master's in May and I still can't find a job. I am in the education field and I live on Long Island, where jobs are hard to find. My boyfriend and I have an apartment together, and he is working a lot to keep us afloat. We have considered relocating for my sake but figured we would allow some time first. Money aside, I am having a really hard time dealing with being unemployed. I am feeling sad over the fact that my boyfriend is overworked and has to basically support me. I feel like all of the time and money I spent on my education is not paying off. I have a part-time job, I work evenings, so I spend most of the day at home and then miss my boyfriend because he has a day job. At first, I took advantage of getting myself organized and continuing my job search, but now I have a hard time getting out of bed and feel like there is no purpose to my day. I know that I am depressed. I would love to have some input on how I can get out of this slump and get on with things. — Desperate Davida

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Dear Desperate Davida,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding a job. We are living in a crazy time right now, so try not to be too hard on yourself — there are a plethora of people in your exact situation. For some advice on the career front, check out this advice from my friend SavvySugar; hopefully she'll be of some help. In the meantime, I have a few suggestions myself.

While I don't blame you for feeling guilty that your boyfriend is working extra hard while you look for a job, try to keep it all in perspective. It doesn't sound like he's miserable doing it, so just be appreciative! I'm sure it makes him feel good to be able to help you, and if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you do the same for him?

Since you are working opposite schedules as your boyfriend, I recommend looking for a new part-time job during regular business hours. Not only will it give a purpose to your day and time with your boyfriend, but getting back in the routine of going to work everyday, no matter what the job is, will make the transition that much easier when you find a full-time job. Since relocating is potentially an option, why don't you give yourself a time frame? If you can't find a job in six to eight months, send your resume out in cities where you could see yourself living.

I know it's probably really disheartening to think all your hard work isn't paying off, but in time, I have faith that it will. Be patient with yourself, let your boyfriend take care of you for a while, and make sure you communicate with him. Perhaps just talking it out will relieve you of the guilt you feel. Good luck.


Join The Conversation
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
im unemployed too, mine went out of business. and have no motivation just because jobs are hard to find in my small ct town. but dont give up. you might have to get a retail job/grocery job until you can find employment. i have to go back to school after getting my BFA and its not even in that major. its for dental. its hard. keep looking for jobs in the newspaper. take anything right now!
lalaAU lalaAU 8 years
I have graduated from health science in february...and still I cannot find a job. i went to a recruitment agency today and they said i was not being 'proactive' enough. i felt so depressed. of course i was being proactive. i spend each night going through employment websites after working late shifts (unrelated work). i feel like i wasted 3 years of hard work for nothing too. i have not yet to hang my parchment up the wall yet - that's how depressed I feel. but i am still looking out for jobs - just anything but retail. we will get there eventually
sweetpeabrina sweetpeabrina 8 years
I'm not sure what education job you want, but if it's K-12, there's only a small window for actual hiring. Sometime around February, schools start evaluating staff for who will be staying and going. Interviewing starts soon after. If you didn't start looking for a job until May, most schools are already fully staffed. A similar thing happened to me when I first graduated. I applied to the county I wanted to teach in, and walked in resumes to almost all of them. I never heard anything until I started applying to surrounding counties. It was also past the start of the school year (after the 10 day count) when I finaly got a call from the school I work for now. If you are in k-12 education, why don't you start substituting? It will give you classroom experience as well as be on the top of the principal's hire list. If you're not k-12, start substituting anyway! You have flexible hours and only work during the day. It will give you time with your boyfriend in the evenings. Plus, if you can manage a classroom of 30 children, I'm sure you can manage adults, too. :) Good luck!
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
it's definitely not fun to be in your position, but it will pay off if you just wait it out. i always hear about teaching jobs being open in NYC - but i don't know if you're close to the train to come into the city to work, or if it's even something that you can consider since not all schools are what you're 'equipped' to teach in. it's really hard to be unemployed in this area since i've found that any job opening has 1000+ applicants and you don't have that in every place in the country. so even if you are very well suited for a position, there are soo many people that you're up against that it can depress you even more. i know that it's cliche, but good things come to those who wait, and at least you have your boyfriend who's able to help out until you do get a job. think about how much you'll have once you do have a paycheck, and the stress will be off.
kristennn kristennn 8 years
I totally feel you. I was laid off a couple months ago and it's so hard to bounce back and find a job in this economy! Right now I'm seriously looking for entry-level jobs in any field that I am remotely qualified for, even though it would almost certainly mean taking a pay cut. In the meantime, I find that it helps to keep your days busy (hobbies, errands, exercise, productive things like cleaning the apartment) so at the end of the day you feel accomplished, and not like you just wasted an entire day doing nothing. Also, some good advice I got is to treat your job search like a full-time job; i.e. devote that much time of your day just looking/applying for jobs. If you keep at it this way, you're bound to find something!
Amandaletta Amandaletta 8 years
I recently graduated with a degree in Photography, and now I find myself sitting at home, in your exact situation. Finding a job doing what I do is hard, I don't have the means to start my own business and go out on my own. I'm putting in resumes everywhere I can and I get nothing. It stinks big time. I know how you feel...but we'll get through it!
bengalspice bengalspice 8 years
Have you tried NY Teaching Fellowship? What about sending something to other suburbs. I know East Ramapo in Rockland needs quality teachers. I'm also sure an organization like Teach for America would have jobs, if not teaching, something education related. They definitely want people in education helping to improve the situation in so many of these underprivileged areas. Don't give up! I'll try to keep my eyes open for you for anything in our education sector.
psychobabble psychobabble 8 years
It's amazing to see how many of us are in the same position. I too am unemployed and am having a hard time finding a job for a newly licensed RN!
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
The ladies above gave good advice. I was there a while ago. I just got a job after being laid off for about a year and some months. I worked two part time jobs and now I have an unrelated job. Right now it is all about me keeping afloat. When I was unemployed, I created a schedule - a things to do list that I did 3 days out of the week. I took one day to clean (I had depression hard the first 2 months, I wasn't cleaning the house), and then one day to relax. I would get up at 6 AM, start working the job websites everything net, then I would send e-mails to friends to see if they knew anything, check your school job boards and career center, check with old professors, and set up informational meetings with potential employers in your field - just filling them out. For me it was hardest to get myself out of the rut, it's great you have help but you don't won't to become anyone's burden. You will be okay in the long run, but right now you just have to stay busy and market yourself like crazy. You are a brand and you need to do a campaign. Good luck, if you need anyone to talk to, I think any of the women on here are open.
cjmara805 cjmara805 8 years
Most people don't find a job in their field right off the bat, most student loan companies give you a grace period for that reason. It takes time to find the perfect fit. Good luck!
colombiansugar colombiansugar 8 years
I'm in the same situation as you, and yes, it really does suck! I totally understand the feeling of depression...not wanting to get up in the morning because, well, what's the point? Like you, I'm also trying hard to come up with ways to stay positive and feel better. So far, there are two things that definitely have worked for me. One is exercise: when I get out and work out, I feel like I've accomplished something, so that feels great. Even if it's just going for a really long walk, it works. The other thing (and this might sound strange) is applying for entry-level jobs that sound interesting (even if they have nothing to do with my field) and going on any interviews that I am offered. For some reason, the whole process of dressing up, meeting new people, and selling myself for a job I really don't care if I get, is rather energizing. It reminds me that I could do any of a number of jobs if I felt like it, and helps me from spiraling downward into that whole "I studied so hard/wasted so much money on my education, no one wants to hire me, I pigeon-holed myself into a career that gives me no opportunity to work..." train of thought. You are not alone. I feel your frustration. I guess we could both use a good dose of faith and luck... let's hope it comes soon!
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i finished my master's last may too and i had an unrelated/crappy job for almost a year before i got a job in my field that i had trained all that time for. trust me, i know it's tough. you feel like everything you've done was for nothing - and getting a master's is tough work! don't worry, something will come up, but you need to get excited about other things. like dear said, get a day job, and sign up with an agency who may help you find something interesting quicker (that's what i did). searching for jobs sucks, honestly i understand that, so don't put all your energy into that right now, because it will only make you more depressed. by getting a more interesting day job, you may find you're able to get out of your slump and get more excited about something else, which will in turn help you to start your education job search with more rigour in a couple weeks good luck
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