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You Asked: Miss Manners

Dear Sugar,

I recently came back from a lovely family vacation. Both my brother and I brought our significant others and my parents were gracious enough to foot the bill for all four of us. My boyfriend wasn't able to stay for the entire trip, but my brother's girlfriend was with us from start to finish. I have met her two times before this trip and every time we hang out, I can count the words she mutters on two hands — including this trip.

Not only does she not add to anything to the conversations, but she never thanked my father for buying her every meal for two weeks and she never even offered to pay for a single thing! I ended up being irate for the latter half of the trip because of her ungratefulness and her lack of personality. I understand that my brother cares for her a great deal, but I just don't think my parents and I can ever look at her the same way. Help!! — Overprotecting Penny

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Overprotecting Penny,

I am so sorry to hear that your family vacation was tarnished because of her — what a bummer, but I have to say, I'd be pretty irked too if I were you. It's extremely generous of your parents to treat your SO's to your family vacation and lack of appreciation and minimal conversation is just unacceptable if you ask me. Unfortunately. many people in this world were not taught the best manners, but there's no excuse for forgetting to say thank you.

Since this woman is your brother's girlfriend, it's not your place to say anything to her directly, but if I were you, I'd certainly speak up to your brother. If you don't want to cause too much drama, just simply tell him how disappointed you were in his girlfriend's manners and suggest that she at least sends your parents a thank you note if not a thank you gift.

I hope you were at least able to enjoy part of your family vacation and now that you're all back home, if you still don't hear a peep from her, perhaps she just shouldn't be invited next time around. I hope I was of some help.


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