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You Asked: My Husband Expects me to be a Housewife!!

Dear Sugar--

I am recently married to a wonderful and extremely loving man. We have been together for almost 6 years and he is my prince charming. On our honeymoon, he dropped a total bombshell on me -- he wants me to quit my job and be a housewife!!!

Now, I understand that many women enjoy being housewives and I have the utmost respect for them, but being a housewife is just not for me. I recently landed an amazing job at a very prestigious law firm and feel like I didn't bust my *ss in school for the past 7 years for nothing. Before we got married he was happy that I wanted to keep my job and now he is all of a sudden adamant that I quit. I don't know what to do, I love my husband and he is being incredibly generous by offering to be the sole provider, but being a housewife simply won't be enough for me. HELP! -- Unstimulated Sonia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Unstimulated Sonia --

Yikes, it sounds like you and your new hubby have a serious conflict of interests here. I can completely understand why you don't want to give up on a career you have clearly worked very hard to achieve and I quite frankly feel you shouldn't have to. What is sparking your husband's sudden change of heart? Have you told him how important keeping your job is to you? Have you expressed your disinterest in being a housewife?

It sounds like your husband has an idea of what marriage is "supposed to be," perhaps he grew up in a household where his mother stayed home while his father brought home the bacon, but that lifestyle isn't for everyone and he needs to understand that. If you are forced to stay home, chances are you're going to end up resenting him, which is bound to cause serious problems in your relationship. Marriage is all about give and take, so while your husband might have an ideal of how he wants your life to be, you need to do what makes you happy. Starting a new life with your husband takes some work, and there will be highs and lows, but I suggest you sit him down ASAP, let him know how you feel, and demand that you come up with some sort of a compromise. I wish you luck Sonia, and congrats on your wedding!


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