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You Asked: My Husband Wants Me to Be a Stay-at-Home Wife!

Dear Sugar,

I just got married to the man of my dreams (YAY!!), but now that the wedding high has worn off, settling into married life has been different than I expected. Both my husband and I are very career oriented but all of a sudden, now that I have a ring on my finger, he wants me to be a stay-at-home wife, just like his mother! We talked about our future before getting married and we were on the same page, but my husband has done a complete 180 and I don't know what to do. He says that he makes enough money to support the both of us, but I don't want to quit my job! He expects me to stay home to "run the house," but I'm not ready to be a housewife! While I don't want to knock those women that love being a stay-at-home wife/mom, it's just not what I want for myself quite yet. Do you have any advice for me? — Career Woman Wendy

To see DearSugar's answer


Dear Career Woman Wendy,

Agreeing on how your lives would change after getting married really should have been discussed before saying I do, but since your husband clearly had a change of heart, a serious talk is in order. Explain to him that you had every intention of keeping things status quo, including your career. For some women, working is what keeps them motivated and empowered so while your husband's offer is very generous, you're bound to resent him if you feel held back.

I think it's natural for him to try and replicate his parents relationship, but times have changed. Being a housewife is no longer a woman's automatic role; it's now a decision. Hopefully a good talk about your future will help bring you two back to the same page, but Wendy, even if you can't come to a complete agreement, you need to do what's best for you because if you aren't happy, your relationship is bound to suffer. Good luck and congratulations!


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