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You Asked: She Canceled Her Wedding

Dear Sugar,

I was supposed to sing at a friend's wedding coming up this Fall. My travel for the wedding has already been booked, with the majority being nonrefundable. I just got an update from the bride-to-be that she's called off the wedding with no chance of reconciling with her mate. Do I count the $400 as a loss due to a good friendship, or do I ask for some kind of reimbursement during this obviously hard time?

— Singing Sasha

To see DearSugar's answer,


Dear Singing Sasha,

This is certainly a tough situation as far as proper etiquette is concerned. Wedding cancellations are rare, but they do happen. Though it's easy for the guests to feel stiffed, try to keep in mind that your friend is likely to be going through some very difficult emotions right now. I'm sure she feels absolutely awful and humiliated over the time and effort people have put into a wedding that will never be. Perhaps she'll decide to pay you back eventually, but I wouldn't pressure her in the meantime.

A $400 loss is a bummer for anyone, but I think in this case, that's just the way it has to be. I'm sure your friend is already dealing with huge costs in lost deposits, and I highly doubt that she can even afford to reimburse everyone who made travel arrangements. If she's a close friend, perhaps you should make the trip anyway to be by her side. If not, why not try changing your ticket to another destination — at least that way you can still get some bang for your buck.


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