The Best Gifts From Goop's Annual Guide — and by "Best," We Mean Most Ridiculous

Do you see that in the distance? It's the money that will be missing from your bank account if you purchase these Goop Henry Gregory Antiques Mother of Pearl Antique Theatre Glasses ($340).

Here is the Addition Studio Marble Dumbell ($100) for when lifting weights doesn't seem burdensome enough.

If owning a private jet is too costly, the Surf Air Private Flight Membership ($1,950 per month) is the next best thing!

Burn your money away with these luxurious Shine Papers King Size 24K Gold Rolling Papers ($55).

Who killed the innocence of Clue? It was WS Game Company, with its Clue Luxury Edition ($249), in the shopping cart.

Eliminate plastic waste — but don't sacrifice luxury — with the Glacce Rose Quartz Crystal Straw ($68).

A minimal design and leather strap lend a chic look to this set of Andrea Brugi Olivewood Egg Plates ($160) . . . for eggs.

For the person in your life who really wants to be a mermaid, get these webbed Darkfin Power Gloves ($30), and oh my god, what the actual f*ck.

The best part about the Mikuni Wild Harvest White Alba Truffle ($195)? It has to be consumed within three days of delivery! Ha!

Imagine giving the Oru Kayak Bay St Kayak ($1,599) to someone who lives in an NYC studio apartment? Just imagine.

If for whatever reason you're into that sort of thing, own the phone number you've always dreamed of having with the Ring Boost Vanity Phone Number (prices vary).

Gift your baby the AHA Custom Lullaby Recording ($600) for when "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" just won't do.

Feel the heartbeat of a loved one with this hyperpersonalized Enso ($99) device, and — OK, this is pretty damn sweet.

Longing for a simpler time before modern tools and technology? Give the Uncommon Goods Butter Churner ($39) a whirl and see how long you last.

If you're looking for an adrenaline rush and you've got cash to spend, embark on this Four Seasons Volcano Helicopter Adventure ($39,500 for four), which actually sounds like an incredible experience, albeit a terribly expensive one.

The kicker behind this Heretic 18K Rose Gold Fragrance Flask ($895) is that you can't even drink from it, unless you want to sip on perfume. Where's the fun in that?

When all else fails, there's always this village in Lungo, Spain ($172,910) up for grabs.