In 2021, multiple women came forward accusing Armie Hammer of sexual assault and physical abuse [1]. Now, two years later, the "Call Me by Your Name" actor is speaking out for the first time. On Feb. 4, the newsletter Air Mail [2] shared Hammer's first interview since the abuse allegations surfaced. In the interview, Hammer denies all criminal wrongdoing, but does state that it's fair to say he was emotionally abusive to the women with whom he engaged in relationships.

"I would have these younger women in their mid-20s, and I'm in my 30s. I was a successful actor at the time. They could have been happy to just be with me and would have said yes to things that maybe they wouldn't have said yes to on their own," Hammer said. "That's an imbalance of power in the situation."

He continued, "I'm here to own my mistakes, take accountability for the fact that I was an assh*le, that I was selfish, that I used people to make me feel better, and when I was done, moved on. I'm now a healthier, happier, more balanced person. I'm able to be there for my kids in a way I never was . . . I'm truly grateful for my life and my recovery and everything. I would not go back and undo everything that's happened to me."

In 2020, Hammer and Elizabeth Chambers announced their separation after 10 years of marriage [3]. The couple share two children: Harper, 8, and Ford, 6. Chambers previously opened up to E! [4] in September 2022 about how she and the "Death on the Nile" actor were coparenting in the wake of the allegations against him.

Chambers shared that in addition to focusing on his own recovery after he entered rehab in 2021 for drug, alcohol, and sex addiction, Hammer was also dedicated to being a good father to their children. "It's going to make him the best father, the best person he can be," she said. "At the end of the day, that's the goal. We're in constant communication, and all that matters is that he is the best dad for our children. Obviously, he processes everything else that he's dealing with personally — and that's his own journey now."

In his interview with Air Mail, Hammer alleges that he was sexually abused at age 13 by a youth pastor at his church. He now claims the alleged abuse led to his interest in BDSM later in life. "What that did for me was it introduced sexuality into my life in a way that it was completely out of my control," he said. "I was powerless in the situation. I had no agency in the situation. Sexuality was introduced to me in a scary way where I had no control. My interests then went to: I want to have control in the situation, sexually."

Hammer also addresses the allegations of sexual assault from a woman who is known as Effie, whose rape claim led to an LAPD investigation of the actor in 2021, as well as the allegations from Courtney Vucekovich and Paige Lorenze. While he continues to refute all allegations of criminal behavior, he also says there was a "power imbalance" in the relationships due to his wealth, fame, and age.

The former actor, who will soon be a sober companion to another person in recovery, claims at one point he contemplated suicide after the allegations emerged. "I just walked out into the ocean and swam out as far as I could and hoped that either I drowned, or was hit by a boat, or eaten by a shark," Hammer told the outlet. "Then I realized that my kids were still on shore and that I couldn't do that to my kids."

In the two years since the abuse allegations were made against him, Hammer's cannibalistic fantasies have been a frequent topic in Hollywood, and in September 2022, Discovery+ released a documentary [5] called "House of Hammer," exploring the allegations against him as well as his family's dark history. Meanwhile, Hammer revealed he has been focused on his mental health and his children while also looking for ways to help others in addiction recovery. He also confirmed that Robert Downey Jr. helped him get into a rehabilitation program.

"There are examples everywhere, Robert being one of them, of people who went through those things and found redemption through a new path. And that, I feel like, is what's missing in this cancel-culture, woke-mob business," Hammer said. "Someone makes a mistake, and we throw them away like a broken disposable camera. Robert and others are examples of what it looks like for a human being to experience pain and then growth. And that aspect of it is something that I aspire to."

If you are feeling anxious or depressed and need help finding help or resources, call the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (1-240-485-1001) or the National Alliance on Mental Illness (1-800-950-6264). You can also text "NAMI" to 741741 or email info@nami.org.

If you or someone you know would like to speak with someone who is trained to assist sexual assault survivors, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.