Are you OK? Is everyone OK? We know the answer is probably no, because this week's episode of American Horror Story [1] really did a number. In what must be one of the most f*cked-up episodes to date, we meet a "gimp" who's hanging on some hooks in an attic, watch a centipede crawl out of Ally's neck, and watch the group of clowns [2] plunge a bunch of nails into a poor guy's head. And that's just the tip of the emotionally scarring iceberg. Quite frankly, it all makes Emma Roberts's brutal on-air stabbing [3] look like child's play. If you can bear it, let's all rehash the most disturbing moments from this week's episode together. Maybe we can process it as a group and get some closure.
When the Term "Fake News" Gets Tossed Around
Real subtle, guys.
When Kai Abruptly Slaps That One Guy in His Cult
Damn, that's cold.
When Kai Says, "The Perception of Credibility Leads to the Perception of Power"
This . . . seems . . . to make sense . . .
When Ivy Reveals Herself as a Member of the Cult
We could see right through you [4], girl!
When Ally Looks in the Mirror and Starts Scratching at Her Neck
When a Centipede Crawls Out of Her Neck and Back Into Her Neck
When Ally Gives Ivy a Sex Toy
When Ivy Says, "I Hate This Country and What It's Become"
Sorry. But also not sorry.
And Then She Says, "I Hate My F*cking Wife For Letting It Happen"
When They Show That News Anchor and He's Wearing Latex Gloves and Sucking His Fingers
You eatin' wings in bed, kind sir?
And Then He Says, "There's a Gimp in the Attic!"
Oh, so . . . no wings then. OK.
And Then They Go up to the Attic
You just KNOW Ryan Murphy put some kind of crazy, f*cked-up sh*t up in that attic. You just KNOW.
When You See the Gimp and It's a Guy in a Leather Mask and a Diaper
When You Realize He's Hanging by Hooks That Are Stuck in His Skin
REALLY? REALLY?!?!
And Then Kai Kills the Gimp and Then Everyone Brutally Murders the News Anchor
When You Realize Meadow Is Not Dead but Is at the Bottom of a Hole in Her Own Yard
When Meadow Bangs on Ally's Window and Is Like, "Your Wife's in the Cult!"
When Kai's Like, "Come on — We're Going to Take Care of a Problem"
Can we, like, just have a moment to decompress? Please?
When Kai Brings Out the Nail Gun
Oh, NO.
When He Tells Ivy to Put a Nail in the Camera Guy's Head
AND THEN IVY ACTUALLY DOES IT
She just put a nail in that guy's head. SHE JUST PUT A NAIL IN THAT GUY'S HEAD!
And Then EVERYONE Puts a Nail in His Head
When Beverly Makes Kai Share His Backstory, and He's Like, "My Parents Are Dead"
Yeah. Duh.
When We Watch His Mom Blow Her Brains Out
Haven't we been through ENOUGH?
When We Realize Kai's Older Brother Is Actually Dr. Vincent
And Then Dr. Vincent Is the One Who Decides to Lock the Bodies in the Bedroom
More like bedTOMB — am I right?
And Then We See the Rotting Corpses Like 100 Times
You know what? Bye.