There was a time during my teenage years, right after my hometown cable provider started carrying the Game Show Network, when I was hopelessly devoted to reruns of Match Game from the '70s. From Brett Somers' goofy glasses to the sexual innuendo I was just beginning to understand to every single thing about Charles Nelson Reilly, I thought the show was hilariously perfect.
It's become such an enduring classic in my mind, in fact, that I'm a little appalled at this report that the American Idol producers want to revive the show. As far as I'm concerned, there's no way that Match Game could work today, when the C-list celebrities who might sign up for the panel aren't that interesting and almost every TV taboo has been broken.
I know there's a general malaise about remakes these days — from the new versions of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street to the Efron-ized version of Footloose — but I want to know about the ones that really get under your skin. Which projects are so close to your heart that you would truly scream, cry, pull your hair out, and picket the studios if they were remade?